1. Tall Men that are cute
2. Guys with long hair
3. Waterfalls
4. Rain
5. Showering together
6. Big Penises (yep, I am very happily married)
7. Massages
8. Kisses on the back of my neck
9. A Very Big, very large, damn near huge bank account
10. A sexy Southern Drawl (yep, hubby has that too...)

10 Turn Offs

1. Nose, Ear and Back Hair
2. Men that act feminine
3. Men that cross their legs like women, UGH!
4. Little Penises
5. Know it alls
6. Abusers
7. Laziness
8. Conceit
9. Dumb People
10. Body Odor

And since I had to do this, I'm gonna tag Gennie, Katy, Angie, & Crazy Ride Lady!

posted by MOM IS NUTZ  # 5:43 PM,

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1. Why is it terrible to waste your mind only if you are black?
2. Why is it that you smell something horrible and immediately turn to another person and say, "this smells like shit, here smell it" and the other person does.
3. How come America accommodates everyone's desire to speak in their native tongue? If I moved to Mexico I had damn well learn some Spanish.
4. People who profess to be Pro-Life yet will shoot an abortion doctor in a minute.
5. Those idiots you see on TV reality shows about law enforcement who run from the cops. They never win, and where in the hell did they get the idea a 1972 Pinto can outrun and outmaneuver a cop car, helicopter and motorcycle?
6. People who are raising their daughters to just say no to sex, and saying nothing to their sons. The daughters may not have to say no so much if the boys were taught not to ask. There are exceptions to every rule, and I know that teenagers are still going to have sex. But dammit...teach your daughter abstinence and then give your son a condom for his wallet? WTF???
7. Why policeman always have to hold their big flashlight on their shoulder right beside their cheek. Why not just point it where you need it and go from there?
8. People who actually sign release waivers to appear on COPS.
9. Why A/S/L is the most asked question on the net. Why does it matter? I'm just here to play a game, damn.
10. Anna Nicole Smith - enough said
11. Why when you have only 2 kids, it's great, as in "oh, how nice" but when you cross that magic line and have 3 you inspire disbelief and pity as in "OMG, you have 3 kids, poor dear, how do you do it?"
12. Women who have children and then pay someone else to raise them 40+ hours a week. I know that sometimes women have to work and I am not pointing at them. But there are women that focus so much on their careers that the only time they notice their kids is at their high school graduation. Sacrifices can be made.
13. Women who try to be vindictive after a breakup and refuse to let their children see their dad, even though he is a perfectly wonderful father. Spite has a way of biting you in the ass when those kids grow up.
14. People who say they cannot find a job. Hell, it may not be a dream job, but McDonald's is always hiring...get off your lazy ass, k?
15. Women who play the "helpless" role. Geez, give it a break...you can need your man without acting like an uneducated twit.
16. Men who won't pay child support. You are not hurting your ex, you are hurting your kids. And if she's a bitch and never spends it on the kids? Save your cancelled checks, so when the kid(s) figure out she's a neurotic bitch (and they always do) and you have them wanting to live with you, you have full proof that at least one of her lies wasn't true. "mom, I thought you said that sorry son of a bitch never paid one thin dime to help us out, he has 7 years of cancelled checks" this statement should be followed by, "Dad, can I come stay with you awhile?"
17. How come Miss Black America is a wonderful way to showcase the beauty of African-American females, yet Miss White America is a racist, horrible thing that is not allowed?
18. People who excuse their sons when they act like obnoxious brats with the phrase, "Boys will be boys!"

There are tons more...but that's my rant for today.

posted by MOM IS NUTZ  # 9:22 PM,

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Now who doesn't get tired of pooping the same old way everyday? With this innovative product, The Turd Twister, you can truly give new meaning to the phrases, Holy Bat Shit, Frosted Lucky Charms, and my favorite, "I feel like Italian tonight." Also a perfect gift for the person that has everything or the ones that think their shit don't stink...now it can look pretty too!

posted by MOM IS NUTZ  # 11:07 AM,

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1. Being able to go barefoot on a long dirt roads, getting those round stickers, sand spurs, in your feet...saying ouch, pulling it out, and beginning the routine all over. Now kids would sit down for 5 minutes crying, and need a band-aid. Or they won't go barefoot at all. If I did wear anything, it was flip-flops and you could see the white mark where the straps were and the rest of my feet were as black as a coal miner.
2. Going to my grandma's house for a week in the summer, going to the country I called it...she lived in Sylvania, Georgia....it was awesome, I miss her dearly. It was so cool to go up there and have acres and acres of garden area, or the fields as it was called, (before the crops were in of course) to run in....it was even more fun if my uncle had already tilled it all up. You know, we kids ran from one end of those fields to the other....promised to "watch out for snakes" that was all that was required. Playing in the huge silo that had dried corn for the pigs in it. I was always told by my grandma that a little boy down the road a piece got killed in one of those last week, someone turned it on and that little boy got ground up before you knew it. That little boy died every year, from the same reason. We were told we'd better be careful playing in that thing. We still played in the silo.
3. When I went to my grandma's house, my cousin lived across the street, to call anywhere on the "hill" all you had to do was dial the last four numbers....that was pretty cool to a "city" girl from Bloomingdale. Also, getting my name in the Sylvania Telephone for being a visitor at my grandma's. It was a weekly back then and anything was news.
4. Sitting on the back of a pickup eating watermelon, spitting the seeds out and hearing for the millionth time, "if you swallow those seeds, you're going to grow a watermelon in your belly." If my grandma was around, she'd say, "people don't have "bellies" pigs do.
5. Sitting on the tailgate of the same truck chewing up sugar cane and spitting it out when all the juice was gone....getting daddy to cut another piece.
6. Walking in the barnyard with my granddeddy...yep, that's how you say it, or at least I did, and having him tell me to tell my parents what I stepped in over there...the reply? "chicken shit...!" (he died when I was 7, but I still miss him every day...weird huh?) After he died, being able to look across the dirt road to the church and the cemetary where he was buried, picking flowers off grandma's bushes and laying them on his stone. I also got to see generations of my family and where they were laid to rest. Never being scared a damn bit of being in the cemetary at dusk. Just knowing I was surrounded my family.
7. Fishing all day "down" at the pond, catching brim, and catfish (that daddy had to take off the line with pliers) getting that nasty gunk on your fingers from the worm dirt...not caring...forgetting and biting your nails...nasty...but part of a great memory consisting of a cane pole, my mom, dad and me....my grandma coming down sitting a spell and casting her line in too..and catching more damn fish than we had all day.
8. Shooting my daddy's guns, him standing behind me so I wouldn't get knocked on my butt from the kick. Me,being bonnie-bad-ass ,thinking I could do it myself, demanding I could do it myself, him giving me one of the ones that kicked less, but enough that I landed on my ass....bruised my shoulder too, I leaned against daddy from them on....until I thought I was bonnie-bad-ass again, learning I wasn't-AGAIN
9. Being able to ride my bike, with a playing card in the spokes to make that cool clicking sound, and not have my mom come looking for me or worry about me unless it was after dark. Seeing her car turn a corner if I did stay out too late and knowing I was gonna get a yelling at and a ass-whoopin in that order.
10. Never being scared of anyone or anything....my daddy and/or momma would whoop anybody's ass that messed with their kid...

More later......

posted by MOM IS NUTZ  # 9:32 PM,

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• A third of the children in Georgia come to school unprepared to learn.
  
• 75% of students who are poor readers in the third grade will remain poor readers in high school.
  
• Georgia scored 50th on SATs in 2003.
  
• One in four adults in Georgia operates at a low literacy level.
  
• Low literate workers cost Georgia Businesses $7 billion a year.
  
• People in the U.S. who are illiterate represent: 75% of the unemployed, 33% of mothers receiving aid, 85% of juveniles who appear in court, 60% of prison inmates

If you have a child aged newborn through 5 years, and you would like for your child to receive one free age appropriate book a month from the Imagination Library and your local team, please go here to see if you have a contact in your area, go to this site, Blingo.com and enter your county name and Imagination Library. If your county has this program you can get the contact information to sign your child up. Numerous locations have a sign up option on the web page. IF YOU LIVE IN GEORGIA, GO HERE and you'll be able to sign up online if your county participates. To learn more about The Imagination Library, visit their website here. If you are in Georgia and know of someone that would like to start a chapter in your county, then please contact me and I'll give you the contact information. I just interviewed the head of this program, my kids have been enrolled since August, 2004 and they absoulutely love it!! Hope this is useful to some of you!!

"Ferst Foundation is striving to include all of the Georgia preschool-age children in our exciting program. Literacy is at the heart of economic development. It is the single factor that unpins most social issues. People who struggle daily for survival and have done so for generations don't know that education is the way out. They don't know that it begins with reading to their children. We want to raise expectations with the hope that in 18 years, we will have raised a generation of readers.
--Robin Ferst Howser

posted by MOM IS NUTZ  # 1:08 AM,

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1. People that drive 15 MPH in the passing lane
2. White teenagers from the suburbs that don't even know anyone that is black that talk like Tupac or 50 Cent...here's a tip...the Black people are laughing at you too.
3. Men, and I've only seen gay men do this so sue me for being non-PC, back to the point, men that wear any sort of pants or chaps in which your bare ass hangs out. Save that for your bedroom, not the middle of Main and 1st during a 4 car gay pride parade. Your normal gay friends will thank you and you have no idea how much tolerance may gained by covering up the bootie.
4. Okay, one more gay related thing. Idiots that ask lesbian couples or make remarks when they see lesbian couples. "Uhh..which one is the man?" There is no man, men have dicks, lesbians do not like dick, therefore dumbass, there is no man. One may be more dominant or whatever, look around, straight relationships are that way to.
5. People that ask you for money for food. If they really want food fine, I will buy you a hamburger. If you want to buy liquor, be honest, hell, if you're that far down on society's ladder, I'll get you a fifth myself.
6. Those damn greeters at Wal-Mart. If I wanted to be accosted by elderly people before shopping, I'd swing by the local nursing home. Put the damn smiley face stickers UP.... Geez...please...STOP!!
7. Women that wear clothes 2 sizes too small. Please, if you sit down and your tummy touches your thighs or lower, do the general public a favor, DO NOT WEAR SHIRTS THAT DO NOT COVER YOUR GIRTH, damn...what makes you think we wanna see it. Think of the children you'll scare.
8. People that piss me off by doing something to my children or myself and then want to run away when confronted....If you have balls enough to be a dick....then have balls enough to stand there while I whip your ass.
9. Men that have to grab their crotch every 2 seconds during a conversation. I can promise you 2 things, 1)picking at it will not make it grow and 2) whatever you started out with is still there, if you have to check that many times then staying home with your dick in your hand is a great option.
10. People who pick their nose with carefree abandon, and then eat them...that is sick...gross...and you need your ass beat.
11. People who have no more home training than to dig in their asses for 20 minutes while standing in front of you in the checkout lane.
12. Jehovah Witnesses that will not shut the hell up. I do not want your Good News, you don't have any good news for me, and what made you think the paper sign that says "Jehovah Witnesses will be shot upon knocking." was a joke, it wasn't. LEAVE.

This is my short list. I am sure I will add more later.

posted by MOM IS NUTZ  # 10:58 PM,

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"The contrast couldn't be clearer between the intentions and the hearts of those of us who care deeply about human rights and human liberty, and those who kill, those who've got such evil in their heart that they will take the lives of innocent folks." -- President George Bush

"Today's bombings will not weaken in any way our resolve to uphold the most deeply held principles of our societies and to defeat those who would impose their fanaticism and extremism on all of us. We shall prevail, and they shall not.'' -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair

These extremist are going to stop at nothing...except total annihilation..Let's kill them all...Chief of the Nuthouse-Me

posted by MOM IS NUTZ  # 12:52 PM,

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