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It's the little things....

Monday, July 11, 2005

We all have big things that bug the hell out of us. I have a lot of little things, PEOPLE, the drive me crazy. It should be legal to just go up and slap the T-Total living shit out of the following people, just because they are dumb as hell and are taking up good oxygen on this earth. I would say headshoot them but then I would be a heartless bitch...so...this list is in no way complete, I reserve the right to add to it as I see fit:
  1. People that drive 15 MPH in the passing lane
  2. White teenagers from the suburbs that don't even know anyone that is black that talk like Tupac or 50 Cent...here's a tip...the Black people are laughing at you too.
  3. Men, and I've only seen gay men do this so sue me for being non-PC, back to the point, men that wear any sort of pants or chaps in which your bare ass hangs out. Save that for your bedroom, not the middle of Main and 1st during a 4 car gay pride parade. Your normal gay friends will thank you and you have no idea how much tolerance may gained by covering up the bootie.
  4. Okay, one more gay related thing. Idiots that ask lesbian couples or make remarks when they see lesbian couples. "Uhh..which one is the man?" There is no man, men have dicks, lesbians do not like dick, therefore dumbass, there is no man. One may be more dominant or whatever, look around, straight relationships are that way to.
  5. People that ask you for money for food. If they really want food fine, I will buy you a hamburger. If you want to buy liquor, be honest, hell, if you're that far down on society's ladder, I'll get you a fifth myself.
  6. Those damn greeters at Wal-Mart. If I wanted to be accosted by elderly people before shopping, I'd swing by the local nursing home. Put the damn smiley face stickers UP.... Geez...please...STOP!!
  7. Women that wear clothes 2 sizes too small. Please, if you sit down and your tummy touches your thighs or lower, do the general public a favor, DO NOT WEAR SHIRTS THAT DO NOT COVER YOUR GIRTH, damn...what makes you think we wanna see it. Think of the children you'll scare.
  8. People that piss me off by doing something to my children or myself and then want to run away when confronted....If you have balls enough to be a dick....then have balls enough to stand there while I whip your ass.
  9. Men that have to grab their crotch every 2 seconds during a conversation. I can promise you 2 things, 1)picking at it will not make it grow and 2) whatever you started out with is still there, if you have to check that many times then staying home with your dick in your hand is a great option.
  10. People who pick their nose with carefree abandon, and then eat them...that is sick...gross...and you need your ass beat.
  11. People who have no more home training than to dig in their asses for 20 minutes while standing in front of you in the checkout lane.
  12. Jehovah Witnesses that will not shut the hell up. I do not want your Good News, you don't have any good news for me, and what made you think the paper sign that says "Jehovah Witnesses will be shot upon knocking." was a joke, it wasn't. LEAVE.

This is my short list. I am sure I will add more later.