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Happy Halloween!!!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

No Halloween would be complete unless I posted the obligatory photos of my kidz. If explanations are needed, Noni is a Princess (Who looks 18...her dad is already planning how to chain her in her room when she gets to be a teenager, and how many teenage boys he will have to kill and how,) Nicklaus is Rey Mysterio, (wrestler) and Nathan is a hunter....



Trick-or-Treating is Hard Work!!


Tell Me Again How Lucky I Am....Signed Loki

Monday, October 30, 2006

If y'all remember our dog, Sable, had 6 puppies. The deal was we were keeping one...Nathan says that one puppy's name is "My Baby Buster."

We placed 4 of the puppies with a good home. Well, 2 puppies ( a male and a female) ran off for about 3 days, so we couldn't give them away if they were AWOL. Finally, after 3 days the two pups returned. They seemed to be in good health, but shortly thereafter the female puppy dies. So, now we have 2 puppies, I was going to see about getting rid of the second one, but I'd soon learn that wouldn't happen. Why you ask? Well, one morning Joey was driving off to go to work and he hit the little male puppy, I was really upset, I didn't want the puppy but I certainly didn't want him dead. Somehow he escaped unscathed. I brought him into the house and nursed him all day. Yep, you guessed it, this puppy "a'int" going anywhere. If I didn't birth it, I am not taking care of it. However, if I do wind up taking care of it...it's mine. So, this is how Loki became mine.(** see below for explanation of name) Here's what Loki looked like while I nursed her back to health. This translates into, Loki was fine, I held her most of the day and some how it ended up with Loki in bed with me 4-5 nights a week:

This is what Loki (along with Buster) is supposed to look like:

And, this is what the poor thing looks like when Noni decides to do a puppy makeover with a Sharpie Marker....it's permanent ink. The odds are he's wishing the car would have killed him and saved him from this:

Here is a brief synopsis of who Loki is/was:

Loki Laufeyjarson is the mythical being of mischief in Norse mythology, a son of the giants Fárbauti and Laufey, and foster-brother of Odin. He is described as the "contriver of all fraud".

Nicklaus came up with the name Loki because at 10 years of age he has studied extensively the ancient gods of different cultures..Nah..., actually Loki was a character in that Dumb Ass Movie blockbuster movie, Son of The Mask and Nicklaus wanted to name the puppy that.....bwahahahahhaha


Saturday, October 28, 2006

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Que Pasa?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A Kentucky couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 Children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed."

The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do this?

The husband and wife replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children born in the United States was Mexican.

They didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.


Who Needs Mystery Inc? Rut Ro Raggy!!

Our house is situated at the end of a dirt road. Adjacent to our property is nothing but overgrown woods. My girl Livey has seen where I live, it's in the BOONIES. So, me being the nosy ass bitch curious type woman that I am wanted to know why some guy on a four wheeler was going into those woods late at night. This guy has an afro so large a small family could live in it. Anyway...what could he possibly be doing? Well, Saturday when Joey was cleaning his deer, I grabbed our nephew to ride back there for a little investigation. Jinkies....I understand perfectly now. There are all these little paths and such throughout the place. We went down one, parked the truck and followed the four wheeler tire tracks to these:

I had to grab a 'lil sample to scan and share with y'all.

I do believe I understand now why there have been 2 deer killed on our property only 7 days apart. The damn things are so stoned they have no clue about their surroundings.....Hmm...I wonder if eating this deer meat will be like eating hash brownies?? BWAHAHAHAHAHA



Monday, October 23, 2006

I have never in my life experienced the events that occurred at my house last night. My hubby was tickled silly that he 1) purchased a grinder and 2) had deer meat to be ground up. I kid you not, he was almost orgasmic....this must be a total man thing, because if need be, I'd grind the meat...but I can guarantee it wouldn't bring that much euphoria. Once Joey vacated the coveted position of grinder for two seconds, another male jumped in his space. Joey, in all seriousness asked him, "I was wondering how long you'd be able to sit there just watching and not ask to grind." He was serious folks, it was like gold nuggets were falling out the other end. I guess it's one of those things you'd have to have an abundance of testosterone to adequately appreciate.


He Who Carries Big Gun - 1...God's Gentle Creatures - 0

Yeehaw...my huzzband killed his first deer this weekend and the really cool part is this one was on our land also!! If you can't tell by the pictures, he is extremely excited. The deer was a really big doe. And before any of you tell me again via email how barbaric hunting is and how I should be hunted....don't.....just go ahead and say "Kiss My Ass" out loud, then ingest a liberal portion of "Shut the Fuck Up" next bitch slap yourself and consider all three from me. My freezer is full of meat so my family can have enough money to pay things like electricity, mortgage, etc. My husband didn't just wake up Saturday morning and say, "Hmmmm....I think I'll go shoot something just to watch it die. And now, for your viewing pleasure, MomIsNutz is proud to present, a phenomenal pictoral depiction of one dead ass deer and one glad ass huzzband.

And, once again my redneck children played with the poor creature's cut off leg....OY!!




Here I go....

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I think I mentioned I used to write periodically for a free newspaper around the town I used to live. Well, I moved up here to the sticks and sent some samples of my writing to a REAL, bought and paid for paper in a bigger town nearby...and I am going to start writing for them! A real newspaper...pretty cool, I think!! Every little bit to build my portfolio up, my kidz aren't always gonna be small. So, tonight I go and cover a City Council meeting in a place I've never been, with people I've never seen....yep...I'm nervous as hell!


Well...The Deed has been done...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

What deed? Why the killing of the first deer on our own land. It was a doe. No, it wasn't Joey or Nicklaus that got it....it was our friend's son who stayed over the weekend with us and hunted on Saturday and Sunday. Nicklaus & Noni had quite the time playing with a deer liver and the cut off legs....they used them to make tracks in the dirt. YeeHaw buddy.......and my little puppy, Loki, got fed deer meat, so did Nathan's "My Baby Buster." They were so stuffed all they could do was lounge on the grass...walking was just to bothersome when you're that full I guess. Every single one of my family members, except Nathan and myself were dressed in some combination of camoflague. I'm slappin' a sign up that says "Rednecks "R" Us and saying to hell with it!


Daddy's Little Girl

Noni is really into writing words now. She loves figuring out the correct spelling and then she'll proudly show all of us. The other night she was in her room writing something 'specially for Daddy. When she came out this is what she had:

And what incredibly sweet thing did she say to her daddy? "Daddy, I wrote poop for you because you like to poop so much...."

Saturday, October 14, 2006



Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Okay, so I have an appointment at my doctor's office to get my "coping with life" pills. My Mom and Dad pick me up, I have no car because Joey's truck died and he's driving mine to work. Anyway, I walk outside and light up a cigarette while waiting for the parents. Lo and behold, our Golden Retriever/Lab mix, Sable, brings something the bottom of the stairs. It's a damn chicken, bloody, de-feathered, yet still breathing. Yep, a semi-live chicken. My first thought is "some of these people up here shoot dogs for less than this! You don't mess with someone's chickens around these parts." Sable will be fenced in shortly, and she'll have 2 chicken free acres to roam around on. I call my husband and his advice is to "conk it in the head with something." Now, there are many things I will do, conking chickens is not one of them. So, I wait until my daddy gets here, he grew up on a farm and knows a thing or two about chicken conking. So, he conks the chicken, puts it in a garbage can, closes the lid and off we go to the doctor. Upon arriving back at my house, I go into the house for a plastic bag for my dad to put the chicken in and carry it off somewhere. Dad opens the lid and this damn chicken is still alive and it's laid an egg!!! A few more conks and she's a goner, she's put in a plastic bag to be disposed of. The hubby comes home and I relate all of this to him as we are smoking a cig on the front steps. Then we hear a weird sound, coming from the back of the house, the huzzband walks around the house and the next thing I hear is:

Kaylee (which is how he says Kellie with his drawl and all)
Kaylee, Sable has gone and got a damn duck, a frigging duck,
what the hell....shit....let them shoot her, hell I'll give them the bullets.

***The duck was not harmed in this incident and waddled it's way home. The chicken had a no chance to make it. And y'all know me, a total camera whore, I had to take a picture of Sable's capture for all of y'all!!"

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Just a short post....

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

To say...I will be back posting regularly soon....I am getting a new Paxil (or equivalent drug) to get my brain straight again..just as soon as I am in a chemically balanced state again...I'll post like I used to....these kidz and bipolar huzzband are driving this gal...well...NUTZ!!!!


Just a Little Tip....

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Okay...so I had my Housewarming/Open House yesterday....got a lot of really nice gifts. For the first time ever I have a complete set of matching glasses and silverware...woohoo for me. I cleaned like a deranged banshee....getting everything all spotless and tidy. I hate cleaning, I think Martha Stewart is some freak of nature...anyhoo....here's my tip. If you forget you have one of those Clorox Bleach Toilet Tablet thingies in your toilet and you drop in one of the "pretty blue water" thingies, you end up explaining to all of your guests that, "Please don't think that someone pissed and forgot to flush...actually, ummm....I just kinda screwed up...see, what I did was...." And no, I did not say piss, my mom and people from the church were here, my mother would have fallen out in a dead faint...after telling me "Kellie, you don't have to be so vulgar..."