Why are these kids following me? Who are they calling Mom??: ATTENTION! ATTENTION! I HAVE A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! I HAVE A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

I am interrupting your regularly scheduled blog reading for the following Public Service Announcement:

After years of suffering from horrible

cramps, (ladies you know what I mean and

if you men don't then you need to relate more to the

females in your life,) anyway, I have finally found a fool proof

way to rid yourself of those awful, painful, abdomen in a vice

grip cramps. First you must find a place for your children to go.

My oldest two are at Nanny & Poppa's house. Hubby has taken

the baby off for a while. So, without further delay,

here is my modern medical breakthrough for women that

suffer from cramps. I am pretty sure this remedy

will work for any sort of pain. Ready?? All one

must do is this. Locate 1 big ass pinkish/orange

Darvocet pill. Place in mouth. Use a big glass of wine

( I am resonably sure any sort of alcoholic libation

will do) to swallow it with. Locate another big

ass pill the same type as above. Repeat the swallowing

with a big glass of wine. If you do not have access to

Darvocet, just drink a bottle of wine. I guarantee if you

do have cramps, you won't feel them. I can honestly say

I do not feel any cramps whatsoever, but then again,

hell, a bus could fall on my schnokered ass right now,

and I wouldn't feel a thing. Then blog about it, and

go lie down on the couch.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog reading. Why is the song""Fly Like an Eagle" stuck in my head? Damn....remember, please consult your doctor before embarking on one of my crazy ass ideas. :-) Dammit man, I don't type to bad for a bitch with a raging buzz, huh?

posted by MOM IS NUTZ # 6:37 PM

|

<< Back to Mom Is Nutz