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Saturday, July 30, 2005

I am interrupting your regularly scheduled blog reading for the following Public Service Announcement:

After years of suffering from horrible
cramps, (ladies you know what I mean and
if you men don't then you need to relate more to the
females in your life,) anyway, I have finally found a fool proof
way to rid yourself of those awful, painful, abdomen in a vice
grip cramps. First you must find a place for your children to go.
My oldest two are at Nanny & Poppa's house. Hubby has taken
the baby off for a while. So, without further delay,
here is my modern medical breakthrough for women that
suffer from cramps. I am pretty sure this remedy
will work for any sort of pain. Ready?? All one
must do is this. Locate 1 big ass pinkish/orange
Darvocet pill. Place in mouth. Use a big glass of wine
( I am resonably sure any sort of alcoholic libation
will do) to swallow it with. Locate another big
ass pill the same type as above. Repeat the swallowing
with a big glass of wine. If you do not have access to
Darvocet, just drink a bottle of wine. I guarantee if you
do have cramps, you won't feel them. I can honestly say
I do not feel any cramps whatsoever, but then again,
hell, a bus could fall on my schnokered ass right now,
and I wouldn't feel a thing. Then blog about it, and
go lie down on the couch.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog reading. Why is the song""Fly Like an Eagle" stuck in my head? Damn....remember, please consult your doctor before embarking on one of my crazy ass ideas. :-) Dammit man, I don't type to bad for a bitch with a raging buzz, huh?