Kids don't come with instructions...
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
I was thinking today of how I was going to be the perfect, peace loving momma to my firstborn boy, Nicklaus. No violent toys of any kind would I buy. Guns breed violence, ya know? Two words, Dumbass Me. My husband let me take this stance, he knew it wouldn't be long before it ended. I was raised with guns, taught to respect them, so where in the hell did I get this crazy ass idea? Who knows, hormonal pregnancy and one too many articles in those useless parenting magazines, I suppose. OMG, I was so adamant, when we went to my sister's house and her son broke out his plastic Uzis, M-16's, pistols and rifles? I took my son into the den with me. "He's not allowed to play with those. He has no clue what a weapon is." Silly bitch that I was. When Nicklaus, my non-violent little cherub was playing in the yard one day, he was around one, he picked up a regular old stick, pointed it at a bird and screamed, "Boom, Boom, Bang, Bang." WTF?? Hadn't I kept all semblence of weaponry away from him? When my sister gave me the hand-me-down camoflague outfits and toy guns, didn't I get rid of them?? Then, let me tell you honey, they sky parted, the sun shone down on my boy and I swear I heard a voice proclaim, "HE IS A BOY, AND, ALL BOYS (AND YOU WILL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH, MOST GIRLS) PLAY THIS WAY, I CREATED HEAVEN AND EARTH, AND ALSO COWBOYS AND INDIANS, COPS AND ROBBERS, SO GIVE IT A REST HONEY, LET HIM BE A BOY." And, I listened to this voice, I took the words upon my heart, and yes, dear sisters and brothers, I allowed my husband to buy the boy a cowboy hat, a gun belt with pistol and cowboy boots. And my father, Poppy, saw this, and saw that it was good, and put his arm around the boy's father and said, "you have done well, I am well pleased, now go forth and show this boy the pleasures of simulated gun play and when he is old enough, train him with a real firearm to respect and take care of and he will never be careless." So, there ya go...the beginning of a southern redneck in the making, but one that will never take a gun to school and blow away the student body, because guns aren't some shrouded mystery, some solution to bullies. Guns are to be respected and feared and loved. I'm not saying just let them run wild with them...in fact, even with toy guns, unless used in a game of cops & robbers, or robots and ninjas(lol), they are NEVER pointed at another person. Teach them right from the beginning.
Oh yeah...that camo thing..Noni had a camo outfit with Daddy's Little Dear on it at 6 months. It had lace and a matching headband..It was a designer outfit..WHAT???...You live and learn...
Oh yeah...that camo thing..Noni had a camo outfit with Daddy's Little Dear on it at 6 months. It had lace and a matching headband..It was a designer outfit..WHAT???...You live and learn...
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