I must thank A Military Mom for this post....
Monday, October 31, 2005
I went over to this post at Military Mom's site. I didn't want to take her Sponge Bobette Ghetto Fabulous pic without permission so I hunted another, and I could not find one as good as hers. The other 2 pics are not as good as hers, Mom's pic is the winner of the UGH award. Please don't be mad, Mom, I will never take another without your permission...k? I decided that the TOP costume for women that have LOTS of back...and somehow don't notice it. We MUST let them know, that if they insist on wearing stuff like Ms. Bob up there, then the only costume for Halloween, should be, and if it offends, sorry, but the costume that really fat people must wear...and I am no skinny minnie....but I also know this and dress accordingly, enough...enough....all fat beeyotches should be made to wear this...(see below)and if they want to dress like a HEAVY HO year round? Then they should have numerous colors of this available and wear it 365 days a year.
And, my vote doesn't count...but Military Mom and Military Dad won by a landslide in my book!! I know y'all think so too...go tell her!!!! 
Thanks Christie!!
I read this post and it opened my eyes. I think majority of people tend to tout the "name" causes and we forget that there are other, just as serious ones out there. The ones we forget just don't get as much air time as the "big" ones I guess.
UMMM.....YOU ARE SO GONNA BE A BLOG ENTRY...
Sunday, October 30, 2005
The hubby and youngest son were watching TV. Some music program on Noggin or Sprout. I overhear hubby telling the wee one that the instrument the puppet or whatever is playing is called a "hemorrhoid." I manage to not die laughing and ask the love of my life, "Honey, what are you talking about????" And he goes, "Oh, no.....not a hemorrhoid, it's that thing Erkel used to play what is it?" I reply, "that would be an accordion, hon." Hubster looks at me and says, "I just made another blog entry, didn't I?" To which I could only reply, "Oh you are so on my blog again!" ROFLMAO......
Okay...Okay...I know it's Saturday...but Friday Freebies Sound Soooo Much Better!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
(click the New Mom Sample Option)
Ya Gotta Vote on a Flavor
I knew I'd be a landowner one day...lol
Does it count if I slap their teeth down their throat???
My Area is never a selected one...Oh well.....
USE UPC CODE: 334647025040
Free perfume from Victoria Secret
As our special gift to you, receive a FREE
Body by Victoria(R) .025 Eau de Parfum Spray from any
Victoria's Secret Store, now through November 20, 2005.
(Great Stocking Stuffer)
Really cute, you can print out your kidz name and age.
Wishbone Salad Bowl
Sign up now, and receive notification by mail,
Sign up now, and receive notification by mail,
Spring 2006 when free salad bowl will be available.
Your click on the "Fund Free Mammograms" button helps fund free mammograms, paid for by site sponsors whose ads appear after you click and provided to women in need through the efforts of the National Breast Cancer Foundation to low-income, inner-city and minority women, whose awareness of breast cancer and opportunity for help is often limited.
I HOPE YOU CAN USE SOMETHING OUT OF THIS LIST!
If you can't, then you obviously have too much money...if so...then please email me for my address, I can help ya get rid of some of it.....ROFL
I had to share this one with you.....
Friday, October 28, 2005
This is the only entry thus far in my New Arrivals section. I will add more later, however, I saw this frame and KNEW I was so going to buy it. You've read my blog entries....is this a perfect fit or what? Is your family normal also? lol
***Just in case you can't read it, it says,"Remember, as far as anyone knows....we're a NICE, NORMAL FAMILY***
I say this to my kidz all the time.....or a version thereof...more like..."Okay..no one will know we are a bunch of dorks if we all keep quiet and act like we have some sense..." What??? You think I'm kidding?
***Want one of your own? Click the pic babeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I had to tell Erik Thanks Man!!!
I wanna thank Erik over at A Long, Strange Trip for giving me the link to Operation Gratitude. My Dad (who is my partner in the online store thingy...the cash partner..lol) & I really wanted to start donating a portion of sales from the store, to a good organization that supports our troops and/or their families. And who better to let me know than one of our guys in Iraq?? Check out their link, even if you don't buy from me, it's still a great and wonderful cause. They send really cool care packages to those military members that are laying it on the line everyday. I think everyone should thank our soldiers...OFTEN!! What?? Why of course I can give you the link to my store again...lol....
I will also be adding a New Arrivals section on my store site, you will definitely find something for everyone on your holiday list!!
I will also be adding a New Arrivals section on my store site, you will definitely find something for everyone on your holiday list!!I am so glad you visited me today....
Thursday, October 27, 2005
****PLEASE NOTE, THIS POST WAS STARTED THURSDAY...AND I DID NOT FINISH IT UNTIL FRIDAY...WHY? BECAUSE I WAS TO DAMN FRAZZLED TO BLOG, LOL****
I have officially declared that this Mom is no longer NUTZ!! That's right folks, I am now, t-totally, certifiable, not one spare marble, slobbering in a corner, INSANE. Now, you that have read my little blog know that my daddy is a Southern Baptist Preacher Man...so, we Baptists don't believe in purgatory. BUT, if I did, I'VE DONE MY TIME....LET ME OUT...NOW!! Today has been so crappy from the moment I woke up until NOW. And the day is not over yet. Well, I guess the best way to let you know what I am talking about is to start at around 8:00 pm last night and progress on. I warn you, this is not for the faint of heart. Also note, that Noni is the only child that did NOTHING to drive me insane....that in and of itself told me that I'm loopy.I AM STILL WONDERING WHERE IN THE HELL THIS KIND OF DAY WAS MENTIONED IN MY MOMMY MANUAL!!!
Joey is usually long gone by this time, 6:30 am, but this morning was a little different, you see, hubby was really tired. Why you ask? Never fear, you will know why and probably more than you want to know soon enough. As mentioned before, hubby hunts. Hubby lives for hunting. Hubby would die if he did not get to kill a wild animal. Soooo....there's a hunting area close to our house....about 2 miles back in some woods and all. As you've probably figured, Joey comes home, takes his Tomcat and traipses through the woods. He says he'll be back at dark thirty, (southern euphemism for nightfall) Well, I heard the gun go off and then nothing. For the next hour and a half nothing. I'd convinced myself that my husband had shot himself and now lay dying in the woods. But, it was cold, dark and those woods are spooky so, I decided to wait a little longer. (Mentally calculating the amount of life insurance he has-JUST KIDDING) Well, finally he comes home, out of breath and racing in to get the phone. He quickly calls a friend of ours that has a hunting dog. Why? Because the deer was shot, but did not die at the scene. And it seems ol' Jethro needs a little canine expertise to located his kill. They arrive, the dog pretty much can't find his ass from a hole in the ground so, the three human tracker begin to track the deer. I must add that I don't hunt, but if he likes it more power to him. Nothing is going to get me in woods, after dark, in the cold. Well, if I heard there was a Louis Vitton strapped to a tree out there, I might, but I'd wait for daybreak. Back to the story....many hours pass, the phone rings and I answer it, "Hello" keep in mind it's 11:30 by this time and I live in a neighborhood where the houses are not right on top of each other, but they are not far apart either. Okay, now the phone conversation,
Johnny- The dog man: "Ummm...Kellie?"
Me:"Yeah, did you find the deer?"
Johnny: "Umm....NO, we lost the trail."
.
.
Me: "Alrighty then "
Johnny: "We really need you to do a favor"
Me: (quite wary at this point) "What?"
Johnny: "Well, these woods go on a lot longer than we thought. And, well, we need you to go outside and blow your car horn, we need to see if we are headed in the right direction."
Me: "Y'all are lost? Oh my lord, the great hunters are wandering aimlessly in the wilderness"
Johnny: "Can you blow the horn?"
Me: "Do you realize that if I go out there at 11:30 pm and start blasting my horn, my neighbors with assume that I am on crack or something and will call the cops?"
Johnny: "I know, sorry, but we really need to find our way out..."
So, for the next half hour or so, I am called about 10 times and told I needed to blow the horn again....damn, I felt like a fool. Finally, they found their way home. And none of these could answer this question. "Okay, I'm no woodsman or outdoorsman, but if y'all followed a blood trail all the way back there, why couldn't you follow it out again?" My reply was silence.
Next bit of evidence on why I am stark raving mad, begins now.
I wake Nicklaus up for school. And yes, he does have hillbilly teeth on the picture with a gold tooth. I suppose he's a hick Thug....that just one of those special little presents his Nanny buys. Anyway, I'm sitting on the couch and I hear his bus go by. He gets up and goes into his room. I assume he's grabbing his bookbag. He's not, He proceeds to miss his bus and I take him to school when I leave to take Noni. BUT...I lie down on the couch because I don't have to leave for another hour to take Noni. I ask Nicklaus, who is sitting 3 feet in front of me, if I doze off, please wake me up when "Postman Pat" comes on. Yep, I tell morning time by what kidz show is on. Nathan is asleep on the couch beside me. Nicklaus doesn't wake me up, but I do wake up in plenty of time. I heard something like keys rattling. Holy shit...Nathan has got my purse from somewhere and proceeded to go through FOUR tubes of lipstick. He is covered from head to toe. All the while Nicklaus is zoned into the TV and never once noticed. Now, it's not his responsibility to watch his baby brother, HOWEVER,
my kidz tattle on each other for the most lame reasons imaginable, and he did not once scream, "MOM...NATHAN'S IN YOUR PURSE." I will include this picture of my cherubs pajamas, I was way too rushed and frazzled to take his picture. Suffice to say, he has red and variations of red, from his ass to his elbows. And finally, the straw that broke this mom's back. And just for clarification purposes so you may see that my life has gone to shit. Nathan, quite gleefully, reached into the back of his diaper and got 2 handfuls of freshly made poo to share with his family. Only a picture can do this justice, I apologize, I did not take one of him grinning maniacally while squishing his masterpiece between his hands. I tell you. That boys got some talent, poo must be his medium of choice. 
Either that or he thinks it's just some really stank Play Doh....I'm know this to be fact ...somehow or other, my children were sent here to torment me until I can take no more....almost there....Just so you can fully share in my day to day joys of motherhood, I've included a close-up as well.
And yes, he did jump in the tub diaper and all. But between trying to remove shit from 95% of my kidz body and going around and picking up poo poo balls like they were Easter Eggs, I couldn't have cared less. Too complete my day, I forgot to give Nicklaus his ADD mecicine this morning and he bounced from one end of the house to the other. And if I ever hear "Knock, Knock one more time.....I am not responsible for my actions. If someone had told me in my youth that I was going to marry a direction challenged redneck, have a kid that is capable of bouncing off any wall with spastic ability and a baby that loves to fling, play with, mold, try to digest his own feces, I would have immediately went out and found a high powered rifle and ended it all right there....ROFLMAO
my kidz tattle on each other for the most lame reasons imaginable, and he did not once scream, "MOM...NATHAN'S IN YOUR PURSE." I will include this picture of my cherubs pajamas, I was way too rushed and frazzled to take his picture. Suffice to say, he has red and variations of red, from his ass to his elbows. And finally, the straw that broke this mom's back. And just for clarification purposes so you may see that my life has gone to shit. Nathan, quite gleefully, reached into the back of his diaper and got 2 handfuls of freshly made poo to share with his family. Only a picture can do this justice, I apologize, I did not take one of him grinning maniacally while squishing his masterpiece between his hands. I tell you. That boys got some talent, poo must be his medium of choice. Either that or he thinks it's just some really stank Play Doh....I'm know this to be fact ...somehow or other, my children were sent here to torment me until I can take no more....almost there....Just so you can fully share in my day to day joys of motherhood, I've included a close-up as well. And yes, he did jump in the tub diaper and all. But between trying to remove shit from 95% of my kidz body and going around and picking up poo poo balls like they were Easter Eggs, I couldn't have cared less. Too complete my day, I forgot to give Nicklaus his ADD mecicine this morning and he bounced from one end of the house to the other. And if I ever hear "Knock, Knock one more time.....I am not responsible for my actions. If someone had told me in my youth that I was going to marry a direction challenged redneck, have a kid that is capable of bouncing off any wall with spastic ability and a baby that loves to fling, play with, mold, try to digest his own feces, I would have immediately went out and found a high powered rifle and ended it all right there....ROFLMAO More New Stuff.....Check it out....
Well, here's another slight plea...well, okay a HUGE one....for any or all of my visitors to check out my store. I've added: Lighthouses, Tea Sets and Silver Jewelry. Thanks!!
DID JA EVER WONDER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE A SODA IN THE FREEZER FOR 2 HOURS??
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Really??? You did?? I did too, until yesterday.....See, and you thought only useless information was available here. Please, try this at home and let me know what happens at your house....LOL
YEE-HAW...WOOHOO...AND ALL THE OTHER ONES...LOL
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
I have my first official happy customer. SuZan over at Celebrating Women (click it to read, go ahead) decided to give me a shot, I know it's hard buying online from someone other than a LARGE firm. I just want to thank her for giving me the chance. And to thank her for the second linky loo telling everyone in Blogger Land that she is happy with her purchases!
Don't be ugly now..sharing is good....
Hubby ALWAYS lays on the couch or in his recliner to watch TV. He just does, it's a habit. Anyway, I was on the computer...shocks you doesn't it? :-) Anyway, I'm on the computer, I notice he's crept in, and is silently opening candy. I look at him, notice something isn't right, he doesn't even have the TV on. So, I ask, "Why are you in here? (Yes, he's allowed in our room, but like I said, it's odd, no TV, No groping...LOL) He is dead serious, looks at me and says, in a whisper, "Shhh...don't let them know I'm in here, I wanted to eat my Reese's in peace."
A GREAT WAY TO SAY THANK YOU TO OUR TROOPS!!
Operation: Entertain Our Troops Mission:
Operation: Entertain Our Troop’s main mission is to collect new and used DVDs, CDs and video games from the public in select cities throughout the southeast, to be sent to US soldiers stationed overseas.
**Just click the banner**
I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU....
Monday, October 24, 2005
Nah, not really. Actually I called and got your darn voice mail. I wanted to ask you if you liked being a father. If so, you need to call this house as soon as you are able to and talk to these things you spawned or your status as a father may be shortened. I swear to God, they say every villiage has an idiot....there's three villiages doing without somewhere today. Buh-Bye
***Phone call to hubby placed today around 4:30 pm
***Phone call to hubby placed today around 4:30 pm
MY TOP 5 PICKS
Sunday, October 23, 2005
I wanted to let all of you know that I've now added a wine/vineyard/grape, and a Native American department on the store site. Please visit and take a look around! I've also decided to list a top 5 list of products I really like each week. Just click on the item title and you'll be taken to that item's page. Thanks!! So, I hope you will take the time and look around, and if you see something....BUY it....I have kidz ta feed, ya know? LOL
MOMZ TOP 5 - GET ONE OR THREE DAMMIT...LOL
4 Pc Nun For The Road Coasters
Sisters Mary Martini, Merlot, Mimosa and Mai Tai toast you from the faces of these campy coasters! Packaged in an elegant gift box. 4" diameter. Set of 4
$ 10.95
Lighthouse Candle
This lighthouse really "lights".
An uncommon and attention-getting theme for a candle.
5 1/4" x 4 1/4" x 8 1/2" high.
$ 10.95
"Welcome to My Jungle" sign with monkeys.
$ 10.95
4 Pc Happy Everything Coasters
Make every day a celebration with this coaster set that combines all of your favorite holidays into one delightful mural. Set comes in its own elegant gift box. 4" diameter. Set of 4 $10.95
Patchwork Picture Frame American Flag
Surround a favorite photo with the colors of "old glory" with this colorful Patchwork photo frame.
$ 11.95
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I was talking to my niece this weekend on the telephone. It's amazing how two people can have such grandiose desires. She was talking about how she wants her and the hubby to move to Key West. She wants to be able to get off work, a less stressful one than here, ride her bike to the beach and walk down the beach with her hubby. I could totally relate. I mean, I have a dream as well, something that would be heaven on earth to attain. I told her, I want to be able to walk to the mailbox and get the mail and never once look out for snakes or worry about stepping in a nice fresh pile of dog shit. Ahhh....the beauty of having dreams.
Friday, October 21, 2005
MASTER'S MIRACLEFREE SAMPLE REQUEST FORM-soap sample
MAEVE, MAEVE...LOL...-HAPPY HOUR AT YOUR HOUSE CD
I hope you can use something. If you get a really good freebie that you ordered via this blog....let us know about it!
I interrupt my usual humorous blog (for me at least) for the following public service announcement....
I could never be called an artist, however, I did make this the other night. I just wanted all of my female readers to know how important it is to do self-exams and regular mammograms. My cousin is 3 days younger than I am and she just got through with her chemo and all. She will be fine, the cancer is gone. My friend Theresa was not so fortunate. I miss talking to her, I miss her laugh, I miss our visits....Yet I know I cannot miss her more than the 8 year old little boy she left behind. So please, take care of this, don't keep putting it off. It's literally a life or death option. 
I'VE BEEN GOOGLED!!!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Yep, the guy in the pics above has broken through the veil of secrecy within my family about my blog. Damn that Google. HIs only beef? I hadn't blogged about him. I guess the main reason is this: If I start blogging about what a tremendous kid he is, I'll start missing him, missing him will make me cry and I don't feel like crying!! He's closer than family to me. The little brother I never had. When I was single and "with child." This little guy was at my side all the time. He's just always been in my life and I cannot begin to say how weird it is to on one hand be so proud of him for going to college and wanting to become a physician and on the other hand hating it that he left home. He has a scholarship to Loyola, yep, that's NOLA, Katrina land. He got to spend one day and one night basking in his newfound independence. The next he's evacuated and now he's in Denver, Colorado. 4 years of French, 4 long years of French in the hopes of speaking it in the French Quarter, (at least on this side of the world, he'll build a house one day on the French Riviera and speak it every day) anyway....what now? He's in a wonderful Jesuit college in Denver that's situated smack dab in the middle of Spanish Harlem...and he is without a Spanish vocabulary. Sometimes, God just has a funny, funny sense of humor. So, here's Justin's blog entry. I know he'll be reading it shortly and I hope he knows how much he means to me and how much I miss him. He's truly a remarkable young man...damn, did I say that? I meant kid. He always has been. How many 10 year olds can have Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily" read to them, and they actually understand?? Love ya J!!!! Hurry home!!!
Mayo todos sus sueños vienen verdad.
Mayo todos sus días sean felices.
Mayo su cristal sea siempre lleno.
Puede usted nunca olvidarse de cuánto usted es amó.
Figure that one out!!
Hubby asked, "Are those for Noni??"
These are the free panties they sent me. They measure 9 inches across. Hmmm...they say they stretch to fit....what will they fit? My Supersize Barbie??
I will take a picture of anything....
Our bugs are much bigger in the South...or it seems that way. This is a "stick bug" that was on my front porch. Again, I have used my CSI forensic knowledge to allow you to see the size of this thing. Ain't you glad?
I do not recall him ever using this many products to go out with me. But then again, I've smelled these...THANK GOD!! From left to right: Some hunter deoderant, supposed to remove all traces of human scent, Hunter soap, use this before the deoderant to remove scent, Earth Spray - I swear to all that I know, this spray smells like you've rolled around in mud...for a long time, it's called Earth, and lastly? Those are dryer sheets that you dry your clothes with to remove any scent whatsoever. All this preparation to sit in a tree in the middle of nowhere at the crack of dawn, and from a guy I have to beg to put on khakis and a nice shirt....I will never understand men and their hobbies...LOLProud to be a GEORGIA GIRL!!
A girl from Georgia and a girl from the west coast were seated side by side on an airplane.
The girl from Georgia, being friendly and all, said," So, where y'all from?"
The West coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Georgia sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
DADDY CAN DO EVERYTHING...RIGHT?
Well, Daddy brought home the pumpkins for carving and the kidz were really excited. The kidz wanted me to show them some other kinds of carvings instead of the same old, same old. So, Mom did. And they wanted some pretty elaborate designs. Dad said, "Look, I'm doing the standard eyes and mouth jack-o-lantern. I'm not an artist." Kidz said, "Daddy, please, you can do this, you can do anything." Daddy says, "Sure, and after I do this, y'all scrounge up some blocks of wood and I'll carve some dang gnomes!!" (please read in a totally sarcastic voice." LOL
Right To Privacy....Yeah..right...
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Now you can see anyone's drivers license on the internet, including your own, picture, addres