I must thank A Military Mom for this post....
Monday, October 31, 2005
I went over to this post at Military Mom's site. I didn't want to take her Sponge Bobette Ghetto Fabulous pic without permission so I hunted another, and I could not find one as good as hers. The other 2 pics are not as good as hers, Mom's pic is the winner of the UGH award. Please don't be mad, Mom, I will never take another without your permission...k? I decided that the TOP costume for women that have LOTS of back...and somehow don't notice it. We MUST let them know, that if they insist on wearing stuff like Ms. Bob up there, then the only costume for Halloween, should be, and if it offends, sorry, but the costume that really fat people must wear...and I am no skinny minnie....but I also know this and dress accordingly, enough...enough....all fat beeyotches should be made to wear this...(see below)and if they want to dress like a HEAVY HO year round? Then they should have numerous colors of this available and wear it 365 days a year.
And, my vote doesn't count...but Military Mom and Military Dad won by a landslide in my book!! I know y'all think so too...go tell her!!!! 
Thanks Christie!!
I read this post and it opened my eyes. I think majority of people tend to tout the "name" causes and we forget that there are other, just as serious ones out there. The ones we forget just don't get as much air time as the "big" ones I guess.
UMMM.....YOU ARE SO GONNA BE A BLOG ENTRY...
Sunday, October 30, 2005
The hubby and youngest son were watching TV. Some music program on Noggin or Sprout. I overhear hubby telling the wee one that the instrument the puppet or whatever is playing is called a "hemorrhoid." I manage to not die laughing and ask the love of my life, "Honey, what are you talking about????" And he goes, "Oh, no.....not a hemorrhoid, it's that thing Erkel used to play what is it?" I reply, "that would be an accordion, hon." Hubster looks at me and says, "I just made another blog entry, didn't I?" To which I could only reply, "Oh you are so on my blog again!" ROFLMAO......
Okay...Okay...I know it's Saturday...but Friday Freebies Sound Soooo Much Better!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
(click the New Mom Sample Option)
Ya Gotta Vote on a Flavor
I knew I'd be a landowner one day...lol
Does it count if I slap their teeth down their throat???
My Area is never a selected one...Oh well.....
USE UPC CODE: 334647025040
Free perfume from Victoria Secret
As our special gift to you, receive a FREE
Body by Victoria(R) .025 Eau de Parfum Spray from any
Victoria's Secret Store, now through November 20, 2005.
(Great Stocking Stuffer)
Really cute, you can print out your kidz name and age.
Wishbone Salad Bowl
Sign up now, and receive notification by mail,
Sign up now, and receive notification by mail,
Spring 2006 when free salad bowl will be available.
Your click on the "Fund Free Mammograms" button helps fund free mammograms, paid for by site sponsors whose ads appear after you click and provided to women in need through the efforts of the National Breast Cancer Foundation to low-income, inner-city and minority women, whose awareness of breast cancer and opportunity for help is often limited.
I HOPE YOU CAN USE SOMETHING OUT OF THIS LIST!
If you can't, then you obviously have too much money...if so...then please email me for my address, I can help ya get rid of some of it.....ROFL
I had to share this one with you.....
Friday, October 28, 2005
This is the only entry thus far in my New Arrivals section. I will add more later, however, I saw this frame and KNEW I was so going to buy it. You've read my blog entries....is this a perfect fit or what? Is your family normal also? lol
***Just in case you can't read it, it says,"Remember, as far as anyone knows....we're a NICE, NORMAL FAMILY***
I say this to my kidz all the time.....or a version thereof...more like..."Okay..no one will know we are a bunch of dorks if we all keep quiet and act like we have some sense..." What??? You think I'm kidding?
***Want one of your own? Click the pic babeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I had to tell Erik Thanks Man!!!
I wanna thank Erik over at A Long, Strange Trip for giving me the link to Operation Gratitude. My Dad (who is my partner in the online store thingy...the cash partner..lol) & I really wanted to start donating a portion of sales from the store, to a good organization that supports our troops and/or their families. And who better to let me know than one of our guys in Iraq?? Check out their link, even if you don't buy from me, it's still a great and wonderful cause. They send really cool care packages to those military members that are laying it on the line everyday. I think everyone should thank our soldiers...OFTEN!! What?? Why of course I can give you the link to my store again...lol....
I will also be adding a New Arrivals section on my store site, you will definitely find something for everyone on your holiday list!!
I will also be adding a New Arrivals section on my store site, you will definitely find something for everyone on your holiday list!!I am so glad you visited me today....
Thursday, October 27, 2005
****PLEASE NOTE, THIS POST WAS STARTED THURSDAY...AND I DID NOT FINISH IT UNTIL FRIDAY...WHY? BECAUSE I WAS TO DAMN FRAZZLED TO BLOG, LOL****
I have officially declared that this Mom is no longer NUTZ!! That's right folks, I am now, t-totally, certifiable, not one spare marble, slobbering in a corner, INSANE. Now, you that have read my little blog know that my daddy is a Southern Baptist Preacher Man...so, we Baptists don't believe in purgatory. BUT, if I did, I'VE DONE MY TIME....LET ME OUT...NOW!! Today has been so crappy from the moment I woke up until NOW. And the day is not over yet. Well, I guess the best way to let you know what I am talking about is to start at around 8:00 pm last night and progress on. I warn you, this is not for the faint of heart. Also note, that Noni is the only child that did NOTHING to drive me insane....that in and of itself told me that I'm loopy.I AM STILL WONDERING WHERE IN THE HELL THIS KIND OF DAY WAS MENTIONED IN MY MOMMY MANUAL!!!
Joey is usually long gone by this time, 6:30 am, but this morning was a little different, you see, hubby was really tired. Why you ask? Never fear, you will know why and probably more than you want to know soon enough. As mentioned before, hubby hunts. Hubby lives for hunting. Hubby would die if he did not get to kill a wild animal. Soooo....there's a hunting area close to our house....about 2 miles back in some woods and all. As you've probably figured, Joey comes home, takes his Tomcat and traipses through the woods. He says he'll be back at dark thirty, (southern euphemism for nightfall) Well, I heard the gun go off and then nothing. For the next hour and a half nothing. I'd convinced myself that my husband had shot himself and now lay dying in the woods. But, it was cold, dark and those woods are spooky so, I decided to wait a little longer. (Mentally calculating the amount of life insurance he has-JUST KIDDING) Well, finally he comes home, out of breath and racing in to get the phone. He quickly calls a friend of ours that has a hunting dog. Why? Because the deer was shot, but did not die at the scene. And it seems ol' Jethro needs a little canine expertise to located his kill. They arrive, the dog pretty much can't find his ass from a hole in the ground so, the three human tracker begin to track the deer. I must add that I don't hunt, but if he likes it more power to him. Nothing is going to get me in woods, after dark, in the cold. Well, if I heard there was a Louis Vitton strapped to a tree out there, I might, but I'd wait for daybreak. Back to the story....many hours pass, the phone rings and I answer it, "Hello" keep in mind it's 11:30 by this time and I live in a neighborhood where the houses are not right on top of each other, but they are not far apart either. Okay, now the phone conversation,
Johnny- The dog man: "Ummm...Kellie?"
Me:"Yeah, did you find the deer?"
Johnny: "Umm....NO, we lost the trail."
.
.
Me: "Alrighty then "
Johnny: "We really need you to do a favor"
Me: (quite wary at this point) "What?"
Johnny: "Well, these woods go on a lot longer than we thought. And, well, we need you to go outside and blow your car horn, we need to see if we are headed in the right direction."
Me: "Y'all are lost? Oh my lord, the great hunters are wandering aimlessly in the wilderness"
Johnny: "Can you blow the horn?"
Me: "Do you realize that if I go out there at 11:30 pm and start blasting my horn, my neighbors with assume that I am on crack or something and will call the cops?"
Johnny: "I know, sorry, but we really need to find our way out..."
So, for the next half hour or so, I am called about 10 times and told I needed to blow the horn again....damn, I felt like a fool. Finally, they found their way home. And none of these could answer this question. "Okay, I'm no woodsman or outdoorsman, but if y'all followed a blood trail all the way back there, why couldn't you follow it out again?" My reply was silence.
Next bit of evidence on why I am stark raving mad, begins now.
I wake Nicklaus up for school. And yes, he does have hillbilly teeth on the picture with a gold tooth. I suppose he's a hick Thug....that just one of those special little presents his Nanny buys. Anyway, I'm sitting on the couch and I hear his bus go by. He gets up and goes into his room. I assume he's grabbing his bookbag. He's not, He proceeds to miss his bus and I take him to school when I leave to take Noni. BUT...I lie down on the couch because I don't have to leave for another hour to take Noni. I ask Nicklaus, who is sitting 3 feet in front of me, if I doze off, please wake me up when "Postman Pat" comes on. Yep, I tell morning time by what kidz show is on. Nathan is asleep on the couch beside me. Nicklaus doesn't wake me up, but I do wake up in plenty of time. I heard something like keys rattling. Holy shit...Nathan has got my purse from somewhere and proceeded to go through FOUR tubes of lipstick. He is covered from head to toe. All the while Nicklaus is zoned into the TV and never once noticed. Now, it's not his responsibility to watch his baby brother, HOWEVER,
my kidz tattle on each other for the most lame reasons imaginable, and he did not once scream, "MOM...NATHAN'S IN YOUR PURSE." I will include this picture of my cherubs pajamas, I was way too rushed and frazzled to take his picture. Suffice to say, he has red and variations of red, from his ass to his elbows. And finally, the straw that broke this mom's back. And just for clarification purposes so you may see that my life has gone to shit. Nathan, quite gleefully, reached into the back of his diaper and got 2 handfuls of freshly made poo to share with his family. Only a picture can do this justice, I apologize, I did not take one of him grinning maniacally while squishing his masterpiece between his hands. I tell you. That boys got some talent, poo must be his medium of choice. 
Either that or he thinks it's just some really stank Play Doh....I'm know this to be fact ...somehow or other, my children were sent here to torment me until I can take no more....almost there....Just so you can fully share in my day to day joys of motherhood, I've included a close-up as well.
And yes, he did jump in the tub diaper and all. But between trying to remove shit from 95% of my kidz body and going around and picking up poo poo balls like they were Easter Eggs, I couldn't have cared less. Too complete my day, I forgot to give Nicklaus his ADD mecicine this morning and he bounced from one end of the house to the other. And if I ever hear "Knock, Knock one more time.....I am not responsible for my actions. If someone had told me in my youth that I was going to marry a direction challenged redneck, have a kid that is capable of bouncing off any wall with spastic ability and a baby that loves to fling, play with, mold, try to digest his own feces, I would have immediately went out and found a high powered rifle and ended it all right there....ROFLMAO
my kidz tattle on each other for the most lame reasons imaginable, and he did not once scream, "MOM...NATHAN'S IN YOUR PURSE." I will include this picture of my cherubs pajamas, I was way too rushed and frazzled to take his picture. Suffice to say, he has red and variations of red, from his ass to his elbows. And finally, the straw that broke this mom's back. And just for clarification purposes so you may see that my life has gone to shit. Nathan, quite gleefully, reached into the back of his diaper and got 2 handfuls of freshly made poo to share with his family. Only a picture can do this justice, I apologize, I did not take one of him grinning maniacally while squishing his masterpiece between his hands. I tell you. That boys got some talent, poo must be his medium of choice. Either that or he thinks it's just some really stank Play Doh....I'm know this to be fact ...somehow or other, my children were sent here to torment me until I can take no more....almost there....Just so you can fully share in my day to day joys of motherhood, I've included a close-up as well. And yes, he did jump in the tub diaper and all. But between trying to remove shit from 95% of my kidz body and going around and picking up poo poo balls like they were Easter Eggs, I couldn't have cared less. Too complete my day, I forgot to give Nicklaus his ADD mecicine this morning and he bounced from one end of the house to the other. And if I ever hear "Knock, Knock one more time.....I am not responsible for my actions. If someone had told me in my youth that I was going to marry a direction challenged redneck, have a kid that is capable of bouncing off any wall with spastic ability and a baby that loves to fling, play with, mold, try to digest his own feces, I would have immediately went out and found a high powered rifle and ended it all right there....ROFLMAO More New Stuff.....Check it out....
Well, here's another slight plea...well, okay a HUGE one....for any or all of my visitors to check out my store. I've added: Lighthouses, Tea Sets and Silver Jewelry. Thanks!!
DID JA EVER WONDER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE A SODA IN THE FREEZER FOR 2 HOURS??
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Really??? You did?? I did too, until yesterday.....See, and you thought only useless information was available here. Please, try this at home and let me know what happens at your house....LOL
YEE-HAW...WOOHOO...AND ALL THE OTHER ONES...LOL
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
I have my first official happy customer. SuZan over at Celebrating Women (click it to read, go ahead) decided to give me a shot, I know it's hard buying online from someone other than a LARGE firm. I just want to thank her for giving me the chance. And to thank her for the second linky loo telling everyone in Blogger Land that she is happy with her purchases!
Don't be ugly now..sharing is good....
Hubby ALWAYS lays on the couch or in his recliner to watch TV. He just does, it's a habit. Anyway, I was on the computer...shocks you doesn't it? :-) Anyway, I'm on the computer, I notice he's crept in, and is silently opening candy. I look at him, notice something isn't right, he doesn't even have the TV on. So, I ask, "Why are you in here? (Yes, he's allowed in our room, but like I said, it's odd, no TV, No groping...LOL) He is dead serious, looks at me and says, in a whisper, "Shhh...don't let them know I'm in here, I wanted to eat my Reese's in peace."
A GREAT WAY TO SAY THANK YOU TO OUR TROOPS!!
Operation: Entertain Our Troops Mission:
Operation: Entertain Our Troop’s main mission is to collect new and used DVDs, CDs and video games from the public in select cities throughout the southeast, to be sent to US soldiers stationed overseas.
**Just click the banner**
I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU....
Monday, October 24, 2005
Nah, not really. Actually I called and got your darn voice mail. I wanted to ask you if you liked being a father. If so, you need to call this house as soon as you are able to and talk to these things you spawned or your status as a father may be shortened. I swear to God, they say every villiage has an idiot....there's three villiages doing without somewhere today. Buh-Bye
***Phone call to hubby placed today around 4:30 pm
***Phone call to hubby placed today around 4:30 pm
MY TOP 5 PICKS
Sunday, October 23, 2005
I wanted to let all of you know that I've now added a wine/vineyard/grape, and a Native American department on the store site. Please visit and take a look around! I've also decided to list a top 5 list of products I really like each week. Just click on the item title and you'll be taken to that item's page. Thanks!! So, I hope you will take the time and look around, and if you see something....BUY it....I have kidz ta feed, ya know? LOL
MOMZ TOP 5 - GET ONE OR THREE DAMMIT...LOL
4 Pc Nun For The Road Coasters
Sisters Mary Martini, Merlot, Mimosa and Mai Tai toast you from the faces of these campy coasters! Packaged in an elegant gift box. 4" diameter. Set of 4
$ 10.95
Lighthouse Candle
This lighthouse really "lights".
An uncommon and attention-getting theme for a candle.
5 1/4" x 4 1/4" x 8 1/2" high.
$ 10.95
"Welcome to My Jungle" sign with monkeys.
$ 10.95
4 Pc Happy Everything Coasters
Make every day a celebration with this coaster set that combines all of your favorite holidays into one delightful mural. Set comes in its own elegant gift box. 4" diameter. Set of 4 $10.95
Patchwork Picture Frame American Flag
Surround a favorite photo with the colors of "old glory" with this colorful Patchwork photo frame.
$ 11.95
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I was talking to my niece this weekend on the telephone. It's amazing how two people can have such grandiose desires. She was talking about how she wants her and the hubby to move to Key West. She wants to be able to get off work, a less stressful one than here, ride her bike to the beach and walk down the beach with her hubby. I could totally relate. I mean, I have a dream as well, something that would be heaven on earth to attain. I told her, I want to be able to walk to the mailbox and get the mail and never once look out for snakes or worry about stepping in a nice fresh pile of dog shit. Ahhh....the beauty of having dreams.
Friday, October 21, 2005
MASTER'S MIRACLEFREE SAMPLE REQUEST FORM-soap sample
MAEVE, MAEVE...LOL...-HAPPY HOUR AT YOUR HOUSE CD
I hope you can use something. If you get a really good freebie that you ordered via this blog....let us know about it!
I interrupt my usual humorous blog (for me at least) for the following public service announcement....
I could never be called an artist, however, I did make this the other night. I just wanted all of my female readers to know how important it is to do self-exams and regular mammograms. My cousin is 3 days younger than I am and she just got through with her chemo and all. She will be fine, the cancer is gone. My friend Theresa was not so fortunate. I miss talking to her, I miss her laugh, I miss our visits....Yet I know I cannot miss her more than the 8 year old little boy she left behind. So please, take care of this, don't keep putting it off. It's literally a life or death option. 
I'VE BEEN GOOGLED!!!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Yep, the guy in the pics above has broken through the veil of secrecy within my family about my blog. Damn that Google. HIs only beef? I hadn't blogged about him. I guess the main reason is this: If I start blogging about what a tremendous kid he is, I'll start missing him, missing him will make me cry and I don't feel like crying!! He's closer than family to me. The little brother I never had. When I was single and "with child." This little guy was at my side all the time. He's just always been in my life and I cannot begin to say how weird it is to on one hand be so proud of him for going to college and wanting to become a physician and on the other hand hating it that he left home. He has a scholarship to Loyola, yep, that's NOLA, Katrina land. He got to spend one day and one night basking in his newfound independence. The next he's evacuated and now he's in Denver, Colorado. 4 years of French, 4 long years of French in the hopes of speaking it in the French Quarter, (at least on this side of the world, he'll build a house one day on the French Riviera and speak it every day) anyway....what now? He's in a wonderful Jesuit college in Denver that's situated smack dab in the middle of Spanish Harlem...and he is without a Spanish vocabulary. Sometimes, God just has a funny, funny sense of humor. So, here's Justin's blog entry. I know he'll be reading it shortly and I hope he knows how much he means to me and how much I miss him. He's truly a remarkable young man...damn, did I say that? I meant kid. He always has been. How many 10 year olds can have Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily" read to them, and they actually understand?? Love ya J!!!! Hurry home!!!
Mayo todos sus sueños vienen verdad.
Mayo todos sus días sean felices.
Mayo su cristal sea siempre lleno.
Puede usted nunca olvidarse de cuánto usted es amó.
Figure that one out!!
Hubby asked, "Are those for Noni??"
These are the free panties they sent me. They measure 9 inches across. Hmmm...they say they stretch to fit....what will they fit? My Supersize Barbie??
I will take a picture of anything....
Our bugs are much bigger in the South...or it seems that way. This is a "stick bug" that was on my front porch. Again, I have used my CSI forensic knowledge to allow you to see the size of this thing. Ain't you glad?
I do not recall him ever using this many products to go out with me. But then again, I've smelled these...THANK GOD!! From left to right: Some hunter deoderant, supposed to remove all traces of human scent, Hunter soap, use this before the deoderant to remove scent, Earth Spray - I swear to all that I know, this spray smells like you've rolled around in mud...for a long time, it's called Earth, and lastly? Those are dryer sheets that you dry your clothes with to remove any scent whatsoever. All this preparation to sit in a tree in the middle of nowhere at the crack of dawn, and from a guy I have to beg to put on khakis and a nice shirt....I will never understand men and their hobbies...LOLProud to be a GEORGIA GIRL!!
A girl from Georgia and a girl from the west coast were seated side by side on an airplane.
The girl from Georgia, being friendly and all, said," So, where y'all from?"
The West coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Georgia sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
DADDY CAN DO EVERYTHING...RIGHT?
Well, Daddy brought home the pumpkins for carving and the kidz were really excited. The kidz wanted me to show them some other kinds of carvings instead of the same old, same old. So, Mom did. And they wanted some pretty elaborate designs. Dad said, "Look, I'm doing the standard eyes and mouth jack-o-lantern. I'm not an artist." Kidz said, "Daddy, please, you can do this, you can do anything." Daddy says, "Sure, and after I do this, y'all scrounge up some blocks of wood and I'll carve some dang gnomes!!" (please read in a totally sarcastic voice." LOL
Right To Privacy....Yeah..right...
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Now you can see anyone's drivers license on the internet, including your own, picture, address and all! Thanks Homeland Security! Privacy, where is our right to it? I definitely removed mine! I suggest you all do the same. Go to the website and check it out. Just enter your name, city and state to see if yours is on file. After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "please remove"... This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement... http://www.license.shorturl.com/
Daddy Experience #2 - LITERALLY
My hubby sat on the couch last night, drawing a butterfly, whilst I was on the computer..Ebaying, blogging, just wasting time. All was quite in the homestead. The hubster likes to draw stuff and thanks to Sam we found out we may be able to make a small amount with his talent....and my pushing. Now there is not outstanding talent like Sam possesses, but he does draw really nice pictures. Anyway....all was calm, all was peaceful, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I heard the love of my life, the father of my children, yelling. And not just some understated, "try not to be loud" kind of yell. Nope, this was a true bloodcurdling, interspersed with a bit of gagging, kind of scream. I jumped up, ran to the living room. And there was Nathan....grinning maniacally, enjoying every minute of this special daddy-son time. Joey was holding one of Nathan's chubby little fists, quite covered in some tannish sort of goo. OH MY GOD.....Joey gagging, points to the floor, right between his feet is a huge, somewhat circular object. It's tan as well, with a bit of yellow thrown in. I start laughing, can't help it. Nathan has decided to be like those adorable little monkeys at the zoo and share his POO with daddy. And daddy was not happy. A big tan blob, with kernels of corn. What father would not like that? Apparently Nathan's. The best part. After it was all over. Joey looks at me and says, "I was just drawing a butterfly, looked up and had a huge ball of doo-doo thrown at me!" And he said that like it's an unusual occurrence.
Today was just a daddy kind of day....
Monday, October 17, 2005
WOOHOO!!!
For once it was finally daddy's turn to have a truly memorable parenting day!!!
Today, 2 separate incidents let my hubby know exactly what I encounter most days, and more than once!!
You know I am dying to tell you ALL about it...so here goes.
FIRST EXPERIENCE
You know I am dying to tell you ALL about it...so here goes.
FIRST EXPERIENCE
Daddy wanted to go and scope out a new hunting place. Yep, the hubster shoots deer. Eats them too. I used to eat deer meat. Until I looked in a bucket thing my sister had in her back yard and saw Bambi's head. Call me a wuss, but that was it for me. Anyway, Daddy took Nicklaus & Nathan. And they weren't traipsing around the woods, they were riding through some management area or something in the truck. Hubby noticed that Nicklaus kept fidgeting with his...ummm...well, to just come right out with it...woozle. Here is the conversation they had:
DAD: Nicklaus, do you have to pee or something?
NICKLAUS: No sir.
DAD: Then why do you keep grabbing your thing like that? I can pull over if you need to pee. (MOM note..this is the South...peeing on the side of the road, where no one can see you is normal. They were on a deserted road pretty much anyway)
NICKLAUS: No daddy, it's not that. Well, ummm....my wiener is sticking straight out..like a stick...
DAD: (trying his best not to laugh out loud, and for a long period) Son, that's perfectly normal, it's going to be happening a lot more. And, I will tell you, it's gonna happen at the most inopportune times. There's nothing you can do about it. But, it's alright. Happened to me too....still does sometimes. We'll talk more about it later.
NICKLAUS: Okay. If you say so.
I WILL POST THE NEXT DADDY DAY EXPERIENCE TOMORROW!
Alrighty then....
I received the following email...no idea why...have never heard of this person...I guess I just gots it like dat...
Damn right...it's better than yours....(this is from a song entitled "Milk Shake" for all of those not priveleged enough to actually listen to rap/ hip hop or R & B...bwahahahahah...and yeah...it's too damn bad I live across country...but hubby says spring for the ticket...he'll show you a milk shake...and how to take a nice dirt nap.....ROFLMAO
Subject: your milk shake
Date: 10/16/2005 7:50:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: jtrivitt@cox.net
To: writing4areason@aol.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
Damn right...it's better than yours....(this is from a song entitled "Milk Shake" for all of those not priveleged enough to actually listen to rap/ hip hop or R & B...bwahahahahah...and yeah...it's too damn bad I live across country...but hubby says spring for the ticket...he'll show you a milk shake...and how to take a nice dirt nap.....ROFLMAO
Subject: your milk shake
Date: 10/16/2005 7:50:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: jtrivitt@cox.net
To: writing4areason@aol.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
too bad that you live on the other side of the United States. sure would like to see your milk shake! And your tootsie roll
I never realized that this many ignorant people existed...until the Internet...did you?
Yabba Dabba F'ing Dooooo.....
Friday, October 14, 2005
Just a small section of my kitchen floor.Now, my story will in no way be as entertaining as Katy's or Christy's little mishap with Katy's lube and sex toys toddler fiasco. The fact of the matter is, in my house sex toys are not something that's common. Unless you count making sure you don't get a Lego stuck in the crack of your butt while you and the hubby are getting busy. And, I can assure you....Lego's are not ribbed for her pleasure! Okay, back to MY story. I heard something around 4 am in our kitchen. Since Nathan and Noni had fallen asleep on the couch, we left them there. I looked and Noni was firmly ensconced in her daddy's arms so I knew it wasn't her. I got up and before I saw what was going on, I heard the crunch. Yep, the Super Duper Size Box of Fruity Pebbles was from one end of my kitchen to the other. Nathan had poured them out for Sable, the puppy, to enjoy, while Nathan was eating his Sponge Bob cereal. What did I do? I got a bowl, poured some Sponge Bob in it for the Natester. Put Sable outside. Put PBS Sprout on, parked Nate in front of the TV and proceeded to sweep up all those fruity-de-licious pebbles. Damn....have you ever thought how many millions of those are in a box? After last night, I can answer this question honestly with a hell, yes. And, if you're wondering. I am a camera whore and I take pictures of everything that I intend to write about in my blog. Pathetic, I know. But, that's me.....did 'ja not notice the NUTZ on my name?
YeeHaw...I got me some free drawers!!
Thursday, October 13, 2005
The ones of you that sign up for the freebies I post should remember the free panty one a while back. I received this in my email today...woohoo
Greetings from Hanes
We thought you would like to know that we have shipped your
order for the Hanes Perfect Panty Sample. You should receive your
request in 2-3 weeks
I am Honest to God at a loss for words.
The Duggar family gathers around Mother Michelle as
she holds new addition Johanna. Rounding out the crew are
father Jim Bob; Joshua, 17; John David, 15; Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12;
Jinger, 11; Joseph, 10; Josiah, 9; Joy-Anna, 8; Jeremiah, 6;
Jedidiah, 6; Jason, 5; James, 4; Justin, 2; and Jackson Levi, 1.
The only 3 things I can think to say are:
1) What in the hell are y'all thinking???
2) Please update your hairdo, and those of your children.
1) What in the hell are y'all thinking???
2) Please update your hairdo, and those of your children.
3) Never again will I think my kidz having the same letter
begin their name is the cheesiest thing in the world.
(As I've told you all before,
Nathan was not planned, I did not see myself calling
"Nicklaus, Noni and errr...Fred?" Nope, had to make it a trio of N's.
Just click the picture for the rest of the story.
I've added new items...if anyone cares...
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Just thought I'd keep my promise and let y'all know when I added new items. I've added a 19.95 and under section, a section called the Beauty of Africa and lastly, one called "Expressions of Faith." Take a browse if you'd like. Thanks!
Nope, I don't think that would work at all....
The hubby helps Noni every week with her homework. Her homework consists of cutting out pictures, (no food) of items that begin with the "letter of the week." So, hubby found a pic of Jessica Simpson, he thinks she's hot as hell, and the letter of the week was "F." He looks at me and asks, "Can I use this?" I ponder the question for a moment, and then decide he means "F" for female, right? NOPE, he means "F" for Fine. Then he says, "Hey, I could have used her for "D" also. "D" as in "DAMN!!!" If you have ever heard Emeril say "Bam!!" this is what Joey's DAMN sounded like. So, no, I don't think that would be a good thing for his 4 year old daughter's homework, do you? L O L
Dedicated to the BlogDaddy - Acidman
Another Great Email that I HAD to Share
Hmmm...okay, so for ONE moment it was the pot calling the kettle black..sort of
I will admit I am an avid watcher, fan doesn't seem to be the right word, of Dog, The Bounty Hunter. I will admit to thinking Dog's wife, Beth, is uber-cool, why? You'd have to read about her, she's one tough woman with a razor sharp mind and her business sense is out of this world. I also watched The Anna Nicole Show, but that was more like seeing a train wreck with lots of gore and not being able to turn away. Anyway, last night they had about 4 or 5 back to back episodes of Dog on. I was in our bedroom watching the show, Joey refuses to watch more than 5 minutes. He is convinced they put them on TV to show what dumbasses do in Hawaii. Anyway, after about the 2nd episode I came out of the room and rushed to smoke a cig, outside, before the commercial was over. The hubster came out with me. I made the comment that I did not understand why the "hunters" all joined hands before going out to capture a fugitive, said really heartfelt prayers, ended the prayers with "In Jesus' Name" and then would say something like, "let's go get the mother f*ckers!!" That is only an example of one time, they usually say something profanity laden after their little talk with God. Hubby looks at me and says, "I guess the same way you tell the kidz you're going to beat their ass if they don't quit playing and get ready for Sunday School, or when you say to hell with church we're just staying in the damn house, I will not walk in late AGAIN, damn, shit, f*ck...etc..." Okay, maybe he had a point, but I always tell them to remember "Jesus loves them" while I'm tearing their ass up....
What Else Did I Expect??
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I absolutely loved the exhibit I visited with Nicklaus' class yesterday. The title of which is: Maxfield Parrish: Master of Make-Believe. His use of colors and models and photographs truly marked him as a genius. He painted well into his 80's. He died in the late 1960's, I think. Anyway, I loved his work. When to field trip was over, Nicklaus rode home with me instead of taking the school bus back to school. Our conversation went something like this:
Mom: Wow, Nick, did you see the way the artist used such vibrant colors?
It seemed like a lot of the paintings were illuminated, but, they
weren't. Did you enjoy it?
Nicklaus: Yeah, I had fun...did you see the naked statues? A man and a woman.
the man's wiener looked kinda small (Nicklaus no longer has a woozle,
he is 9, he's informed me that it is now a wiener.) And the woman statue,
that was cool, (giggle, giggle) but what happened to her fingers?
Where were they? Did you see the one sketch, the woman didn't talk about?
The one in pencil? It was a man, nekkid, you could see his butt...and the name of it was, (snicker, snicker, laugh, laugh) NUDE!! You get it Mom? You get it?
Alrighty then, yep....Mom's got it. Yep, that boy's gonna do me real proud one day. The statues were not a part of the exhibit we were viewing. But, my ever observant child not only noted damage to the female's fingers, he also was quite observant to the size of the male's crowning glory (umm...it was small, very small..teehee) And the only print, painting or work by Parrish he recalls is the pencil sketch on a piece of standard 8" x 11" white paper of the back of a nude man. Yeehaww...that boy's done went and got himself some culture!
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to look at naked men I go...
Monday, October 10, 2005
Yep..I'm off to see a woozle...a wonderful woozle of Oz...not really...LOL...I am going on Nicklaus' field trip with him today. We are going to the Telfair Museum of Art. I got rid of the other two offspring..they are with Nanny & Poppa. Why did I agree so readily to go? Because I am going to win Mother of the Year one of these days dammit!! Okay, not really, Nicklaus told me, "Please come Momma, you'll get to see the statue of that naked man I told you about!" Naked man? I'm there babyyyy.....
MY MOMMA WOULD BE SO PROUD- HELL YEAH!!
Ummm...not really! I listen to ALL kinds of music. I love Ozzy and Eminem. I love Tupac and AC/DC. Very, very different styles. But, that's just me. Nutz. Anyhow, the new car has a kick ass stereo in it and I knew just the CD I HAD to have. Definitely NOT my normal pick, a country CD for God's sake. But, this one is so cool, and so self applicable that I HAD to buy it. And buy it, I did. So, if you see a blue Dodge Stratus zooming past you with Gretchen Wilson's Redneck Woman blaring. Do not be alarmed. It is NOT the boys from Deliverance, it's just me. Now, the part that would make my momma proud? The fact that Noni knows the words, and shouts them right along with me, or she did until I figured out she was really paying attention to this song, and shouted out her "Hell Yeah" with full abandon and glee. Damn...there goes the Mommy of the Year award again. We had a nice little talk, and now she yells out, "Heck yeah" when prompted by the new Diva of Country, Gretchen Wilson. I'll include the lyrics here for y'all. The parts that I totally identify with will be in BOLD. The comments in parenthesis are not Gretchen's...that's my 2 cents worth! This G.R.I.T.S. ( girl raised in the South) has found herself a new anthem....and I play it full blast baby.....
Redneck Woman
Well, I ain't never been the Barbie doll type
No, I can't swig that sweet Champagne, I'd rather drink beer all night(Yep)
In a tavern or in a honky tonk or on a four-wheel drive tailgate
I've got posters on my wall of Skynyrd, Kid and Strait
Some people look down on me, but I don't give a rip
I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip (I have...and do)
'cause I'm a redneck woman
I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raising
I say, 'hey ya'll' and 'yee-haw' (what?? doesn't everyone?)
And I keep my Christmas lights onOn my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song(especially The Devil Went Down to Georgia)
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me,
hell yeah
Victoria's Secret, well their stuff's real nice
But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price(I can...and do)
And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV
I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me
Well, you might think I'm trashy, a little too hardcore
But in my neck of the woods I'm just the girl next door(don't believe me? Visit)
I'm a redneck woman
I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisingI say, 'hey y'all' and 'yee-haw'
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me,
hell yeah
...
And I know all the words to every ol' Bocephus song( I can plow a field all day long....)
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me,
hell yeah
Hell yeah,
hell yeah
Hell yeah
I said hell yeah!
Okay...so technically it's Sunday...whateverrrrrrrrr
Sunday, October 09, 2005
REALLY COOL GAME...
Play Sudoku for free and choose from Easy, Medium and Hard.
Own Collapse! Crunch full-version game and own it forever
Free Duckula Begins Mini Poster
Hollywood 2006 Calander (Hollywood, Florida)
GREAT SITE...free Animated art
Hope there's something here for all of you!!!
I'll try to be more on time...oh hell, I won't...but you'll get freebies lists here...eventually
Please check it out....
Saturday, October 08, 2005
I've added around 100+ new items in my store. I really need to make some money and instead of begging or borrowing I decided to open this site up. Please take a look. I will be adding new items/categories daily also, I'll post a line about it on the blog when I do. Freebie Friday will be Freebie Saturday this week. Sorry. One other thing....if you collect anything in particular...please let me know and I will add litems for you to look at and purchase should you so desire. If you purchase an item on the page I've added that has you collectible, I'll also give you 10% of any one item. Thanks for looking...thanks for buying....A portion of all proceeds will be going to Dependents of Military Personnel also. When I make a check out to them, I'll scan it and let you see that it was mailed. Click on the banner above to visit my store.
Seperated at Birth??? You decide....
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Above pics are, in left to right order:
Stephanie from LazyTown
MOM
Dee Dee the DoodleBop
The really sad thing about me wearing the pink wig thing in "the place we do not speak of?" We had no kidz with us, and we still act loony...LOL
You Are Definately A Redneck If....
You purchase a new vehicle and the escape latch in the trunk amazes you so much that you MUST climb in and see if it works. It did. Another amazing fact? The latch glows in the dark. I was invited in to enjoy all of this, however, I declined.....This weekend we are going to sit in the yard and watch the bug zapper. It's gonna be a "how many bugs are fried" jamboree.
A little update...and an Announcement....
Monday, October 03, 2005
Many of you may recall that I was trying to sell my van. I did finally sell it and used the majority of the money to buy Joey a truck. It's just an old work truck...but he loves it so, who am I to compain?
He's going to get it painted this fall, one of our friends does paint and body work, he has for 25 years or so. So, that means FREEBIES...and you know I love them. Speaking of Freebies, I promise, Friday's Freebie post will make up for the lack of one this week.
So, Joey got a truck
when I sold my van and I got a new car when we sold his Jeep. I sold the Jeep on Friday and we went to the dealership for a "new" used car. I needed a new vehicle because, a) I wanted one, b) I wanted A/C, I dreaded going anywhere because it was so miserable driving in the humidity capital of the world, Savannah. c) we are renting where we live now and it's not big enough for all of us. It has three bedrooms, two of which are tiny. Nathan doesn't have a room, he sleeps with us. So...in order to qualify for a mortgage loan we had to build some credit in Joey's name. His credit score is 000. He has NO credit whatsoever. Mine sucks...I had too many credit cards and used the hell out of all of them. So...we MUST get a house in Joey's name, therefore he must build credit. We went to the dealership on Saturday. Upon our arrival Nathan quickly picked the car he wanted (2006 Corvette). Nickla
us asked if we could really get it. I said, "Sure, but you'll have to ride in the trunk....no room in a 2 seater for kidz... however, I do like the whole trunk riding thing...The car I actually purchased? A 2002 Dodge Stratus, it's awesome...I love it...and it was made in this decade!!! Yeeee...Haw....
So, we are buying a car and building credit in the hopes our house isn't far away. We have to cut out all kinds of non-necessity items to be able to afford this, and then we'll still not be anything really than keeping our head above water. I could go to work also, but I have 3 kids....day care expense would eat up a large portion of my check, thus defeating the purpose of working. So, we're cutting costs, losing digital cable, canceled our Blockbuster.com membership. Lots of little things. I'm going to start selling more on Ebay and another venture I am embarking on. Please take a moment to browse my new online store. I am still adding inventory, but I wanted to go ahead and invite you all to browse and buy my seasonal ( Halloween, Autumn, Fall merchandise.) I will post an update as I add more items. This store will have something for everyone...and then some. So, please, click on the banner below, browse my shop and please order something. If you like my shop, please, please forward it to any and everyone you think would be interested as well. I had NO desire whatsoever to place a donate button on my site, so, I decided to go this route. Help me make it a success.....k? If you have any question, comments or have any problems ordering, please contact me ASAP and I'll resolve it in a timely manner.
