FREEBIE FRIDAZZZZZE-HOT DAMN...ON TIME!!
Friday, March 31, 2006
SORRY SO SLACK THIS WEEK...THESE ARE ALL THE ONES I
HEWLETT PACKARD CAN KISS MY BUTTOCKS!!
My printer/copier/scanner stopped working. Springs came out of somewhere. Anyway, I called HP. At first it was so simple, they were sending me a new printer, mine was still in warranty. However three days later it is now like this:I am tired of doing this back and forth email and fax communication. This has taken 3 days. It is obvious that HP is not going to stand behind their products so I am forced to do the following:
1) I will be purchasing a new all-in-one device from one of your competitor's.
2) I will be lodging a formal complaint, with all copies of email communication (the ones where I'm told that my warranty is updated, then not, then updated, then not) with your corporate headquarters, I assume they are in the UNITED STATES and not INDIA and they will be able to understand the language. I would also love to speak with someone named Bob or Joan, not Kashmir or Kumar. You don't understand anything I am talking about. The language barrier is too great.
3) I will be publishing the transcripts of all communications with your company on my highly popular website. I get over 4500 visitiors a month. It is NOW my mission to make sure that NONE of them buy a Hewlett-Packard product.
I AM GOING TO LEAVE THIS POST ON TOP FOR A WHILE
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
All of you that said you would send 1-5 (or more recipes) to me, please do it as soon as you are able to: BLOGRECIPES@AOL.COM I really, really appreciate it, you all are the best!! If you don't know what I am talking about...click HERE
I NEED MORE RECIPES PEOPLE...C'MON...BREAK THEM OUT...SEND THEM....THANKS
Justin (my nephew/little brother/tagalong/and the best one of all-one of my best friends,) After all these years, I still don't know exactly how to classify him, but I know it's family. He started out being this clinging to MY MOM (she babysat him from birth & he never went away) sorta kid, and now I am so blessed that I can call him my friend. There aren't too many teenage boyz I know that can hold a candle to him. He's smart, funny, reliable, hell, he basically has his head on straight most of the time. Except when you add Captain Morgan, his buddy Jack D or Monsieur Smirnoff. He's just an all around great person and I love him to pieces. We seem to talk more now than ever and he's all the way in the B-I-G NOLA at Loyola. I drove him nutz for
Months weeks because I wanted these pictures. I had to have pictures of New Orleans. And, being the WEIRD ASS unique person that I am, I had only one request. Nope, I did not want pics of Bourbon Street, nope, no pics of Mardi Gras, nada on the pics of the college.....I wanted pics of the cemetaries. And once again, Momz gotz what she wanted. These pics are awesome. I thought I'd share them with you. I dabbled with 2 of them, I like the black and white effect. But first let me share a memory with you that I have with Justin....it's funny, promise. Joey and Nicklaus were gone on a church trip to Myrtle Beach. We were, at that time in our lives, living in, well, not the projects, but close. Anyhoo, Justin and Megan(Justin's sis and my niece, oh hell, you get the picture) came over to visit, and to watch my neighbors drink 40's and shoot dice (not really.) While they were there, I got the newly licensed Justin to drive me across the street to the store to pick up something I needed, who knows what. Anyway, Mugsy, family nickname, watched Noni while we were gone. Everything went smooth, got the goodz, got into the car and all of a sudden, WHAM!! Justin's freaking out, telling me to get out and let him know how bad it is. So, I do. I survey the damage, return to the car and ask, "So, do you want the good news or bad news first?" He chooses good....so I tell him, "there is hardly any damage." What's the bad? "YOU JUST HIT A FRIGGIN' BRAND NEW LEXUS WITH THE DEALER TAGS STILL ON." Ahhhhhhh....memories.<
Has this ever happened to you?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I was on the computer, kinda late, and I kept smelling a horrid smell. Seriously, I checked the room for shoes that may have dog doo on them. Finally, I realized the smell was emanating from my dear hubby's butt. No longer could I take it, so I had to get the air freshner spray. I can only assume that when he farted at work the next day, he smelled of "Lavender Meadows" 'cuz I sprayed the object, his ass, with several, several sprays. Ain't married life grand?
Monday, March 27, 2006
Chickabiddy is? Nope, but they send you free stickers)
DID ANYONE ELSE GET THE SCENTSTORIES LAST WEEK IN THE MAIL?? I DID...WOOHOO
I HAVE A NEW TENANT!!
Go ahead..click on the link. My tenant has a blog called, Romantic Tips for Married Couples. Hell, I have to check this one out....I didn't see on mention of 4-wheelers or mudbogging! How much romance can this blog have without those things? LOL
I Felt Like Sally Field Winning Her Oscar in 1985!!
Saturday, March 25, 2006
When I read this post. Thank you so much Acidman!! Now, when do you want the
little demons kidz?
Words to Last a Lifetime...
Thursday, March 23, 2006
The following conversation took place in my home last night. I hope it will give you the same heartwarming, warm fuzzy feeling. It's moments like these that shape your children's lives. Noni's fish, a really large goldfish, died. Gone to fishy heaven. That damn fish didn't become a floater, it sprawled majestically on a large decorative rock in the bottom. And now for the fuzzy, warm moment.
Noni: Daddy, we have to bury my fish, right? In the yard, right?
Dad: "We can just flush it, Noni."
Noni: "But Daddy, my fish is too big to flush, it won't go down."
Daddy: "Noni, I've put turds in that toilet way bigger than that fish, it'll go down."
The fish was flushed. Doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart. However did I get so lucky?
Ha Ha You So Funny...Mr. Funny Man
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
The hubby, the kids and I went over to my parents house this evening. Hubster made my parents this awesome clock and we took it to them. He was tired so he asked me to drive.Anyway, it was sorta chilly outside, when we got to my parents house Joey was shivering a bit. My Dad says, "Are you cold?" To which my lovely husband replied..."Nah, just trying to get over the ride."
The clock is approximately 12" tall. I have an "in" with the craftsman so....if you think you'd like one of these or someone you know would, let me know! Only $12.95 with free shipping. Can ya tell I need to make some money yet, y'all?
SIGNS THAT YOU MAY NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE MORE...
Monday, March 20, 2006
***Grocery shopping on Friday is an anticipated event.***
***Your eldest child asks, "Mom, where are you going?" When you ask, "Why do you think I'm going somewhere?" He replies, "You have shoes on."***
***You think nothing of going outside at 7:30 pm, getting in your vehicle and driving 8.5 miles to your parents house for something all in your Sponge Bob PJ's***
***While sitting in church your sister discreetly tells you that one of your children is dripping snot...you find the boogery nose, wipe it off with your index finger and then proceed to wipe it on YOUR DRESS, what, you think I use Kleenex ALL the time?"***
This Week in Email
I thought I'd post the best emails I've gotten in the last week. I won't put emails from other bloggers they might want to use them, and who wants to read duplicate posts on two sites? Hope they give you a laugh, or 2!
A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop.
One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as
usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned
the crotch less undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between
her husband and the television, and suggestively tossed one leg up on his
"Want some of this?" she purred.
"Are you kidding?" he replied. "Look what it did to your underwear."
************************************************************************************A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks,
"Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drink right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
STUCK IN AN ELEVATORThree guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know..."Double Income, No Kids, Yet."The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B, you know...Rich, Urban, Biker."They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you? " She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know... "Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner.
One is a prostitute.
How can you tell which one is the prostitute?
You're gonna love it...
It's the one with the little sticker that says...
I - DA - HO
When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away."I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later,
she became his stepmother.
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to a man with ruggedand masculine features, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and duct tapeover his mouth while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected.
HILLARY'S NEW INDIAN NAME
Senator Hilary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upper New York state.
She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living, should she one day become the first female President. She referred to her career as a New York Senator, how she had signed "YES" for every Indian issue that came to her desk for approval.
Although the Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping her "red sisters and brothers".
At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they come to select the new name given to the Senator.
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
Here are a few items I have for sale that are NOT on the website, and are in limited quantities. If you'd like to purchase any of these, please let me know by either commenting (with your email ID included so I can contact you)...or email me at MomzGiftz@Aol.com and I can invoice you for the items via PayPal (You don't have to be a member of PayPal to send payments through them.
Mother & Child Plate with Metal Stand
A stirring portrait of a mother embracing her child on a beautiful day in rural Africa graces this moving porcelain plate. Includes metal stand. For decorative purposes only. 8" diameter. ExclusiveWas $ 12.95 Now priced at $ 9.95 - Great Mother's Day Gift!
Fresh flowers will get a helping hand from this smiling puss, fashioned into a vase with catty character.Was: $ 14.95Now: $ 12.95
Distressed White Wood Screen
A decorative, "shabby elegance" screen with carved fleur-de-lis for an Old World touch.
Made of wood with a distressed white finish. Three panels. 21" x 1/2" x 23 1/2" high. Was: $29.95Now: $18.95
Shabby Elegance Spice Towel Holder
A charming addition to your kitchen, this trendy towel holder also boasts three drawers in which to stow frequently used items and is topped off with a decorative molding.Was: 24.95Now: 12.95
The following mugs were $ 4.99 apiece, Now Only $ 3.00!!
All are microwave and dishwasher safe.
Please specify which mug you would like.
The Following Glass Angels with Birthstones are 2 1/8" x 2 1/8" x 3 3/4" high. Normally these cost $10.95 Now only $ 7.95!! March Angel is shown. If you'd like to see your month, just email me. When ordering, please specify which Angel you need. Thanks!!
Shipping is via UPS and the rates are as follows:
If your order totals this: Shipping Rate:
Less than $24.99 $ 7.50
$ 25.00 - $ 35.00 $ 8.95
$ 35.01 - $ 55.00 $10.95
$ 55.01 - $ 99.99 $13.95
OVER $100.00 $16.95
Wanna Know What I Hate? Well, one thing I hate...
When the pollen count is in the trillions so my allergies are raging and one symptom is coughing so long and hard that you either a) throw up or b) piss on yourself....ain't life grand?
Stay at Home and Shop for Mom!!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
I guarantee that you'll find something for Mom (& anyone else!) at Momz Giftz. The time to shop for Mother's Day is now. Here is a sample of what we have. Just click on the pic to go to Momz Giftz!
For Moms Who Like Candles:
Or Maybe Mom Likes Fragrances and Bath Products
Perhaps Your Mom likes Jewelry
Is Mom (or hubby or Dad) a Nascar Fan?
Or maybe none of the above? Just browse the store, I guarantee you'll find something!!
Oh Lord...what next?
Okay..here's a little quiz? Can you figure out what is going on in this post? The answer will be included. Oh yeah, this little quiz/post comes with directions. Well, just one really. When you read the word, "Nine," you must draw that "i" out. Like a true country bumpkin, hillbilly, redneck, what ever term you prefer. Just think of Gomer Pyle saying, "Gawwwlllly," and you'll have it. In this post, nine is a 2-syllable word, possibly 3. Here goes:
I, the Mom thatz Nutz says, "Digit Dial"
Man says: Niiiine
Woman's voice: Pardon?
Man says: Niiiine
Woman's voice: Pardon?
Man says: Niiiine
Woman's voice: Pardon?
Man says: Niiiine
Woman's voice: Pardon?
Man's voice: Just shet the he-ull up!
(translated as: Shut the hell up)
Woman's voice: I'm sorry, I am having trouble processing your command.
I say: Nine
Woman's Voice: Nine, next number please.
That's my adorable country hubby trying to talk to a vehicle that is equipped with an Onstar Cell Phone function. He's toooooo country for that thang to understand!! Don't believe his accent is that thick?? Think I'm exaggerating? Well, if ya don't believe me....just ask Livey!!
Children are NOT born with hate...it is taught
Friday, March 17, 2006
See that adorable little girl to the left? Ain't she just the cutest little thing? Her name is Autumn Ashante, she's 7 years old. Little Autumn lives in Mount Vernon, New York with her father. Her dad homeschools her, you'll read in just a bit what he teaches her. Little Ms. Autumn is quite an accomplished poet. At 5 years of age she was reciting her verse for numerous audiences. These audiences include :
Carolines Comedy Club, NY
The Cotton Club, LA;
BET's "Rap It Up
Russell Simmons' Phat Farm Fashion Show
Steve Harvey's "Big Time
The City Council of New York had her recite her works at one of their City Council meetings. The council members called her "...one of the most precious young talents that this world has ever known." Little Autumn was asked just recently to perform her poetry, in honor of Black History Month, at Peekskill, New York's middle and high schools. Autumn began by asking white students to remain seated while black students stood and recited the "Black Pledge of Allegiance." The Black Panther Party came up with this one. The pledge is as follows:
Black Child's Pledge
I pledge allegiance to my Black People.
I pledge to develop my mind and body
to the greatest extent possible.
I will learn all that I can in order
to give my best to my People
in their struggle for liberation.
I will keep myself physically fit,
building a strong body free from
drugs and other substances which
weaken me and make me less
capable of protecting myself,
my family and my Black
brothers and sisters.I will
unselfishly share my knowledge
and understanding with them
in order to bring about change
more quickly.I will discipline
myself to direct my energies
thoughtfully and constructively
rather than wasting them in
idle hatred.I will train myself
never to hurt or allow others to
harm my Black brothers and
sisters for I recognize that
we need every Black Man, Woman,
and Child to be physically,
mentally and psychologically
strong.These principles I pledge
to practice daily and to teach
them to others in order to unite my People.
The Black Panther, October 26, 1968 by Shirley Williams
Now, I don't really have any problem with the above pledge. However, one point I must ponder is, "What if it was a white child that asked all other races remain seated? I don't think it would go over well at all. I must also question this phrase in the pledge, "I will discipline myself to direct my energies thoughtfully and constructively rather than wasting them in idle hatred. Why is this phrase important? Well, let me just give you the poem Little Autumn recited. Remember, she's SEVEN years old.
White Nationalism Put U In Bondage
White nationalism is what put you in bondage
Pirate and vampires like Columbus, Morgan, and Darwin
Drank the blood of the sheep, trampled all over them with
Steel, tricks and deceit.
Nothing has changed take a look in our streets
The mis-education of she and Hegro leaves you on your knee2grow
Black lands taken from your hands,
by vampires with no remorse
They took the gold, the wisdom and all of the storytellers
They took the black women, with the black man weak
Made to watch as they changed the paradigm
Of our village
They killed the blind, they killed the lazy, they went
So far as to kill the unborn baby
Yeah White nationalism is what put you in bondage
Pirates and vampires like Columbus, Morgan, and Darwin
They drank the blood of the sheep, trampled all over them with
Steel laden feet, throw in the tricks alcohol and deceit.
Nothing has changed take a look at our streets
No idle hatred there, hell no, it's an active, pulsating, ripping sort of hatred. Daddy sure does do a wonderful job homeschooling his angel. Maybe a 7 year old could come up with all of that, however, it would have to be put in her brain by someone. Daddy Ashante made several remarks to the spectators and reporters alike. Here are a few:
"When you throw a brick in a pack of dogs, the only one that yells out is the one that got hit," Ashante, 40, a member of the Nation of Islam, said quoting the slain civil rights leader Malcolm X. "When you hit them with truth, brother, you're naturally going to get this reaction."
Calling district officials "racist crackers," he said his daughter is not prejudiced and was only trying to promote unity among black youths by teaching them about their history.
"It was not about being disrespectful to anyone," said Ashante, who brought attention to the conflict by notifying news outlets. "It was the truth. There was not one line in the poem that was out of turn." That apple didn't fall far from the tree, eh?
In the infamous words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along??" I have 2 questions about this:
1) Why would someone teach a child to hate that much?
2) Again, what if this was a Caucasian slanted poem recited by a White Child?
Racist cracker my ass, what if someone called him a racist ? Okay, that was 3 questions. Sue me. And one more thing, I don't consider that whole vampire analogy racist in the slightest, nope, not a bit. Daddy Ashante thinks it inspires "unity." Yep...unity.....
First time for everything.....
ERIN GO BRAGH (LESS)
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I don't when my son, NIcklaus, attended the Love and Relationship Online Course offered by Acidman A.K.A. Rob of Gut Rumbles but apparently he did, and he made honor grades. How do I know this? Let me tell ya...
.remember the post about Nicklaus taking up for the kid that everyone picks on? Well, it seems that one facet of this picking is girls won't like the boys that are friends with John. Nicklaus, my boy, figured out that another boy, Chris, is really friends with John. However, Chris will not act like it so he may keep his girlfriend. (These kidz are 10 years old people, jeez) anyhoo, Nicklaus asked Chris, "Oh, I get it, you are really friends with John, but want to keep your girlfriend, so you won't act like it, right?" To which Chris replies, "Pretty much." And my stellar student of life and love, my firstborn replies, "I'd pick a best friend over a woman anyday....women gripe too much."
Easter/Spring Items from Momz Giftz!!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Better Never err...Late than Never....
Worst Landlord Ever...
Friday, March 10, 2006
I am so sorry...due to the damn pollen raining down in my town, I have been VERY under the weather and haven't told y'all to visit my tenant...See the blog on my sidebar, it's a really cool one! Visit it, please...sorry! Tell her I sent ya!
Monday, March 06, 2006
So, I liked both buttons, okay??? What are you still here for? Head over to Christie's place and vote...for ME!
Just a Question....
Sunday, March 05, 2006
How many of you actually order the freebies I post?? If you do, what was your favorite so far?? Your least favorite?? Just curious if anyone other than the 5 people that told me they liked them are out there.
Here Ya Go!!!
Friday, March 03, 2006
(dividers always come in handy)
Free nights at a Vegas Hotel (no strings, no sales pitch)
Call 1877-308-3427for FREE nights at a Vegas hotel.
Supposedly no strings attached.(nothing to click here, just call)
***ALSO, IF ANY OF YOU BUY TRACFONE TIME OR ARE PLANNING TO, PLEASE EMAIL ME AT WRITING4AREASON@AOL.COM I HAVE A LOT OF THEM...WOULD HAVE TAKEN UP TOO MUCH ROOM HERE TO POST THEM ALL. I DON'T USE TRACPHONE, BUT THEY LOOK LIKE REALLY GOOD DEALS!
Some people should be neutered at birth.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
First the Facts on Bullying:
According to a 2004 KidsHealth survey,
students said one of the most common reasons
they bully is to be popular. Another is
to get your way or push others around.
KidsHealth surveyed 1,200 children, aged 9 to 13
...Experts say it is important for family members to be watching out for the effects bullies have on their victims.
Depression,social anxiety and loneliness are
common among victims of bullies.
Victims also tend to be disengaged in school...
(click HERE to go the web page and read entire article)
(information people, information...lol)
Nicklaus has told us about a boy named...hmmm...let's call him, John in his class. John also lives in our neighborhood. One of the few hellions not allowed to run the streets at all hours of the day and night. John has been over at our house several times to play with Nicklaus and appears to be rather pleasant, as far as She seems like a bit of a kook, and a "religious" one at that. I am a Christian, I am able to rely on my faith and still live in the real world. I do not believe this woman is. But I will get to that later. A hint of her holier-than-thou attitude? Well, I smoke and she told me ONCE, (yes I will emphasize the ONCE part) that I will never grow in my spiritual walk if I continue to do so. Hmm...I think the Lord and I walk just fine. And I think He appreciates the fact that I'm not trying to take his job, as this woman clearly aspires to. When I asked what living with a man for a year before her divorce was final or giving birth outside of marriage did for her walk, she really didn't have a whole lot to say. Come to think of it, we never spoke again until today. No, I don't think anyone is farther from heaven for the abovementioned things. Just don't pull one of those "I'm a better Christian than you" acts with me and not expect me to go for your jugular. Okay, back to the important part. Nicklaus says that the whole class picks on John. Nicklaus takes up for John. Nicklaus' teacher confirmed this. Nicklaus was telling me about how a bunckids kidz were calling John gay today. Why? Becausekids kidz were saying that John asked Joe to "go out." This is slang for boyfriend and girlfriend, going steady, whatever you wanna call it. I may not have had the proper reaction, because I asked Nicklaus, "Well hell, you're the one taking up for him all the time, why didn't he ask you?" (Nicklaus knew I was kidding around.) And who cares anyway if John is as fruity as a cuppa applesauce? This kid is picked on everyday, told he is gross, weird, etc. We were on the way to the store, but this upset Everydayerday there are storiekids kidz who have had enough, they shoot people, the commit suicide, they suffer and battle depression, they self-mutilate, they self medicate and the list goes on. I turned around and went back to John's house. His mother was on the porch. I said, "I need to talk to you, tell about somethingthign that is going on at school." And proceeded to tell her about it. Her response? "I will pray about this. John tends to rub people the wrong way. He brings most of this on his self." WTF? PRAY ABOUT THIS? HE BRINGS IT ON HIS SELF? I did not say this, but I wanted to,to this wacko. I did say, "Well, Nicklaus says that he's the only friend John has, and the picking has spread to the other class. I also asked Nicklaus if John does anything, and Nicklaus said no. kids kidz are calling him things like gross and he's gay. I know John's been through a lot ( a bad divorce with molestation involved) and I thought maybe he needed someone to talk to the scpersonnelonell." Her reply, "Well, I am going to pray about this. John hasn't mentioned anything to me about any of this." Keep in mind, some kid told Nicklaus on the bus "I'm gonna kick your f'ing ass," no abbreviation from him though, and I,Mom Is Nutz, got on the the bus the next day, talked to the bus driver, she called the little
SHIT ASS BRAT kid (whom, I might add is 2 years older and 4 inches taller than my kid) to the front of the bus to have a chat with him. When he got on the first seat, I calmly looked at him, pointed my finger and said, "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TALK TO MY SON LIKE THAT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" Suffice to say, he did. I was absolutely floored that it didn't phase her in the least her kid was being tormented like this. She thanked me for telling her, and once again said, "I will be praying about this, if it was really important John would have said something to me about it." I could only look at her and say, "Ya think? Maybe you were just too busy praying and he didn't want to bother you!!" I then got into my car and left. I am not sorry, that woman is nuttier than a fruitcake, she never should procreated. If our kids cannot depend on mom and dad having their back. Who the hell can they depend on for help?
Third, The Moral of the Story
Yep, it's official...the motor is in da houseeeeeeeeee...not really, at least it is in the BACK yard.
This motor is here within a week...anyone else remember how long it took to get my dryer? Humph........
Well, we sure as hell didn't need Scooby or Mystery, Inc. for this one, did we?
I've decided that when referring to something my dear huzzband does, I will NEVER make the statement, "You MIGHT be a redneck if..." Why? Because there isn't an "if" involved. I just added it to be, oh hell, I don't know....amusing? What removed any and all doubt, if any, I may have had? Coming home the other day, and seeing this, IN MY FRONT YARD:
And he seemed quite put out that I seemed displeased. What in the crap do I have to be pleased about? Apparently, I should thank God and the Saints above that he got it for free. Of course, it has no motor (dear God, he's getting one of those for "free" also), we have no boat trailer, the boat must have extensive work done, ( a father-son project- my ass, that boat will sit there until the 30th of February,) and who-in-the-hell knows what else....What is next?? Toilet planters like this one??:
NO, THIS IS NOT IN MY YARD.....YET
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
***If this post is a bit outdated for you...sorry, click the X at the top or read on...I'm sure I'll give this shit a whole new meaning!!"***
You know how you smell something and say, "This smells like shit, here smell it...?" Well this is pretty much the same thing. For those who don't know, Kevin Federline, he's the father of Britney Spears' child and, oh yeah, her husband. He's also spawned two more children with that chick from Moesha, Shar Jackson. He dumped Shar while she was preggers, to get the Spears. Anyhoo...I'm not a psychic or anything, but, I don't think this little marriage thingy between Brit and Kev is gonna last. Meh...I could be wrong. However, I DARE you to listen to this. ( Go ahead...you know you smell shit too when someone tells you)
Since the picture is a bit blurry on this top notch video. I've included a clear one of Mr.
SPEARS Federline, or K-Fed as he is also called. I've heard that Popo Zoa is a term for a woman with a nice ass. However, after watching this horrendous display of spastic colon syndrome. I can only conclude the following things.
1) IF ROAD KILL ON RICE HAD A MELODY & DRIED ASSCRACK A VOICE,THIS WOULD BE IT!
This guy is either
a) extremely constipated,
b) shitting his pants while farting this drivel out or
c) smelling the ODOR that is seeping out of his head bobbing, dumb ass trying to be a rapper and failing miserably stinky ass, and he thinks he is shitting his pants.
So, if you piss me off...guess what your next gift will be? And may heaven have mercy on your soullllllllllllllllll