Theirrrrrrrrrrrr Hereeeeeeeeeeeeeee...................
Friday, June 30, 2006
(WORTH A SHOT)
BR>
BR>
Johnson & Johnson new parents pack
1-800-526-3967
You get 2 free J&J product coupons (up to $5 each),
one $1 off any Johnson's prod. and
coupons for $.75 off of each: Johnson's baby, Balmex, nursing pads.... and $1 off each: infant Tylenol, infant Motrin, infant Mylicon
Plus A booklet like a baby book, with space to write down milestones.
HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING TO USE!!
GEE THANKS HONEY....YOU'RE A HELL OF A HELPER..
The 2 eldest Nutz Kidz are attending Vacation Bible School this week at our church. Tomorrow night they'll have some sort of contest pertaining to the theme which is The Arctic Edge if you haven't already figured it out by the picture. This means that the kidz need to dress up like explorers or arctic animals etc...I asked hubby if he had any ideas....well, you know he did. His solution?
TAKE THESE :
CUT HOLES FOR ARMS & HEAD IN THIS (it's a pillowcase):
And call it "what it is"
An ice cube...y'all got any ideas? As you can tell ---I need them!
***UPDATE***
Since we were running so late for VBS (next post will explain) Hubby had another brilliant idea. He told the kidz to just wear what they had on and tell everyone they were tourists....However, kidz came up with the following costume....Nicklaus was a hunter, head to toe camo,BB gun taped so know one could "accidentally" fire it, if you notice Nicklaus is pointing the BARREL at Noni (gun safety at ALL times) and holding a bear cub. Noni is wearing a mother bear, (I had this in the closet, brand new never worn) trying to protect her cub.....pretty ingenious idea, I say!!<br>
Memorial Service
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Well, I attended Acidman's Memorial Service...sort of. I arrived when the whole thing was over. So, I'll have no update on how it was. However, I did get to see and speak to Sam and she is coming over to see us before she and Stacey leave. I hope so! I love & value their friendship dearly!! I got to see Livey and sooner or later before Sunday she's supposed to come and stay here and I'll take her to the airport for her flight home. My mom fell and shattered/broke both of her elbows, so, I couldn't leave the littlest Nutz family member, Nathan with her. Nathan had to come with. Between him being amazed by the planes overhead and playing let's run around Mommy's legs a billion times, I realize it may have been the best thing I didn't take him in the service. I did not want to chase him everywhere at the after service gathering. People tend to look down on beating your child...so I knew I'd be on frustrated chica. (Note: I do not really beat my children, much. LOL) I do know this much, my baby boy loves him some Catfish. Nathan jumped right into Cat's arms and hugged him around his neck. That was before Cat gave him some candy...so, he just liked the Catster from the get-go. I hate it that I missed hearing the others say how much he touched them in his way. I also hate not being able to gather enough courage to be there and say something myself. I met the following bloggers as well:
Gennie from Dizzy Girl
(this is just truly sad...we live 3 minutes from each other, we should
have met long, long ago!) But I am glad we did, she's sweet and a very pretty gurl.
If I left anyone off, sorry...but I didn't meet a whole slew of people, due to my late Memorial Service ass.
Fly High Acidman....my prayers are with you!!
Fly High Acidman....my prayers are with you!!
Acidman's Obit
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Robert M. Smith
Born in Harlan County, KY on Feb. 16, 1952 and Departed on Jun. 26, 2006
Memorial Service:
Thursday Jun. 29, 2006
Please click on the links above for locations, times, maps, and directions.
Robert Marion SmithRobert Marion Smith, age 54, died Wednesday at his home in Rincon. The Harlan County, KY native had lived in Savannah for a number of years before moving to Rincon several years ago. Rob was a lifelong musician, song writer and performer and was retired from Kerr McGee.He is survived by his daughter, Samantha Lynn Smith of Ft. Worth, TX; his son, Quinton Robert Smith of Rincon; his brother, David R. Smith and wife Pam, of Savannah; his maternal grandmother, Halie Abner of Savannah; several aunts, uncles and cousins, and many friends all over the world.Memorial services will be held at 4:00 pm on Thursday at Fox & Weeks Funeral Directors, Hodgson Chapel followed by a gathering of friends and family to celebrate Rob's life.Remembrances may be made to the American Diabetes Association, 5105 Paulsen St., Suite C-236, Savannah, GA 31405.
This Cartoon Says It All....
I'LL NEVER FORGET THE ACIDMAN!
1) I'll always remember how awesome it was when I got mentioned and linked to on the Acidman's Blog, Gut Rumbles. It was cause for celebration! Once my hubby came home and noticed the wonderful mood I was in. He said, "Let me guess, you got linked on Rob's site again?" The goofy grin I gave said it all.
2) I'll always remember how much fun it was meeting Rob, Sam and Stacey for drinks at a biker bar. I'll also never forget the pictures with the one I call "Biker Santa Claus" and Rob called "Troll." Just for the record, Rob did not like the biker bar.
3) I'll always remember how much he loved his Lil' Stormcloud, Sam & her significant other Stacey. The one and only time I pissed the Big Guy off, (No, not God, Rob, I've pissed God off wayyy more) was when he took a comment I made about Stacey the wrong way. Sam cleared it up though. One note of interest, Stacey is also known as , "the best thing that's ever happened to Sam."
4) I'll always remember how much he loved and missed Quinton. Rob would attend Quinton's ball games, never knowing if he'd even get to talk to him. He cheered with all of his heart for his boy.
5) I'll always remember how I called once a week just to check up on him. Although he "hated the damn telephone," we had quite a few long conversations. I learned a lot from Rob. My hubby said it best a while back, "Some people open their mouth and you know they are full of shit. When Rob starts talking you'd better kick back and listen cuz' you'll learn something." I did.
6) I'll always remember how he'd never get pissed at me for using one of my dad's sayings on him. I'd always tell him that we were praying for him," he needed the prayers, we needed the practice." He never once cussed me out, in fact, I almost always got a classic A-man chuckle and a "Thank ya darlin'" too boot.
7) I'll always remember how much I couldn't wait to move into our new house so when Sam and Stacey came down they could all come over and shoot those guns Rob didn't have and "blow shit up." Just a side note, that's another reason Rob loved the hell outta Stacey...she loves blowing shit up.
8) I'll always remember we never went and got that "Salad in a Glass" (a.k.a. Bloody Mary) he'd promised me from the Exchange Tavern. This was changed to just a salad after rehab.
9) I'll always remember how much I just wanted to scream, "No...don't tell me" when Sam called me and was crying. I knew before she spoke and I didn't want to.
10) I'll always remember what a HUGE Gawja Bulldogs fan he was. Hence the color of the banner up top. Westerns and playing music were also his passions. We all know how great of a writer he was.
11) I'll always remember before Rob went to Costa Rica for the last time, I asked him if I dropped some money off could he pick up some foreign money for Nicklaus, my 10 year old, his reply? "Hell, I've got a shitload of that here, c'mon on by and get some. I never did.
I hope that wherever you are Rob that you have sandy beaches, cool wind in your face, an unlimited supply of that fancy imported beer you loved so much and all the Costa Rican Ladies of the Evening you can shake a Roscoe at. Take care A-man...I love ya!
I'll always remember what a truly wonderful person you were. Even if you tried to be a hardass. Those who knew the "real" Acidman know he was a giving spirit that got taken one too many times.
I Will Miss Talking To You, Learning From You and Reading Your Words...
Monday, June 26, 2006
Dear Boobie Fairy,
I would like to thank your for the boobage I was given at 15. However, after nursing three children somehow my ladies have fulfilled their purpose. I know I am a tad plump, however, I have lost weight and they are now a bit, ummm...not so perky. Is it possible to turn in my 36 DD ta ta's for a much smaller size? I do not need them anymore, I snagged a man, sustained three lives with them and now all they do is cause quite a bit of back pain. If you could let the ass fairy know my azz could stand a wee bit less also, I would greatly appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Mom Is Nutz
Sincerely,
Mom Is Nutz
Five Things I've Learned Since Having Kidz
Sunday, June 25, 2006
* How to take a crap or pee in front of 3 other people. When Mommy goes to the bathroom a super silent alert goes out and all 3 of my husband's spawn darlin' kidz and they must converse with me, tattle to me, or stick their noses under the door, for what I don't know...I've asked if the scent of crap is an attractant. I believe it is.
** When your child reaches the toddler stage at some point you will turn into some cheerful human and sound like a deranged winner of the friggin' Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. The reason for such excitement? Well it ain't Ed McMahon. It means your toddler has picked up ONE block and returned it to the toy box. The general idea is: If I cheer loud enough said toddler will continue picking up their toys. They do not.
***At some point the thought of eating a well balanced meal will fly out the window and you will look like someone in a thirld world country that does not know when you will eat again. How so? You will see nothing wrong with finishing off that last bit of mac and cheese, hot dog, soup, crackers, green beans, etc...that your kid has left on their plate. Some call them scraps, I call them an impromptu prix fixe dinner.
**** It is entirely possible to talk on your cell phone (via earpiece) drive the speed limit, change the radio station, and knock the shit outta a passenger in the back seat.
*****Threaten to bodily harm, maim or kill another person and have no fear of being prosecuted for terroristic threats. I once had been pushed beyond all belief and told my eldest: If you don't shut up I am going to kill you...then I will be on Death Row and be executed....how would you feel then? To which he replied, "Well, you'd be dead so I know you wouldn't feel anything." Smart ass, I have no idea where he gets that. You?
** When your child reaches the toddler stage at some point you will turn into some cheerful human and sound like a deranged winner of the friggin' Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. The reason for such excitement? Well it ain't Ed McMahon. It means your toddler has picked up ONE block and returned it to the toy box. The general idea is: If I cheer loud enough said toddler will continue picking up their toys. They do not.
***At some point the thought of eating a well balanced meal will fly out the window and you will look like someone in a thirld world country that does not know when you will eat again. How so? You will see nothing wrong with finishing off that last bit of mac and cheese, hot dog, soup, crackers, green beans, etc...that your kid has left on their plate. Some call them scraps, I call them an impromptu prix fixe dinner.
**** It is entirely possible to talk on your cell phone (via earpiece) drive the speed limit, change the radio station, and knock the shit outta a passenger in the back seat.
*****Threaten to bodily harm, maim or kill another person and have no fear of being prosecuted for terroristic threats. I once had been pushed beyond all belief and told my eldest: If you don't shut up I am going to kill you...then I will be on Death Row and be executed....how would you feel then? To which he replied, "Well, you'd be dead so I know you wouldn't feel anything." Smart ass, I have no idea where he gets that. You?
I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK OF Y'ALL
I've recently switched to Earthlink and no longer have access to my AOL account...I have forgotten most of my email addresses I had stored. If you are someone that sends me stuff or I send you stuff via email....please change my address to momisnutz@earthlink.net
...thanks a bunch!!!
...thanks a bunch!!!
5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED SINCE I WAS PREGNANT AND/OR HAD KIDZ
* When you begin "showing" that you are with child, you should get a sign and hang it around your neck that reads:
"YES, PLEASE TELL ME ALL OF YOUR LABOR AND DELIVERY
HORROR STORIES. THAT WILL EASE MY MIND....BITCH
**I am not now or have I ever been a person tolerant of pain. During pregnancy with my firstborn, I was "Ms. Gonna Do This All Natural." I then experienced true labor pains.
I LEARNED THAT HOSPITAL ADMISSIONS CLERKS ARE NOT "AUTHORIZED" TO ADMINISTER EPIDURALS.
***I never knew it was possible to puked on, pissed on or crapped on and not have the option to
SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF THAT PERSON!!!
****Breastfeeding can "lull" you into thinking that the thing with your boobie in it's mouth doesn't have teeth.
***I never knew it was possible to puked on, pissed on or crapped on and not have the option to
SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF THAT PERSON!!!
****Breastfeeding can "lull" you into thinking that the thing with your boobie in it's mouth doesn't have teeth.
IT DOES, AND IT KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM!!
*****The fact that you hold a degree in English Communications has no bearing or power to impress the wee ones. All that matters is that you have the ability to read:
Fox
Socks
Box
Knox
Knox in box.
Fox in socks.
Knox on fox in socks in box.
Socks on Knox and Knox in box.
Fox in socks on box on Knox.
Chicks with bricks come.
Chicks with blocks come.
Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come.
Every Night....3,682 TIMES!!!!
************TO BE CONTINUED**********
************TO BE CONTINUED**********
I HAVE A GUN...AND I AIN'T AFRAID TO USE IT...
Friday, June 23, 2006
Approximately 2 hours ago a 2 foot toddler, packing a huge weapon in his diaper, was spotted. Also armed with an extint species of dinoasaur, the suspect was protesting about the need to wear PJ's after bathtime. Suspect apprehended without incident, Mom is bigger.
Yves Chantre Free Fragrance Sample Card-4 Fragrances (great to stick in your dresser and make clothes smell great)
FREE vegetable FIT wash sample (12 oz.)
Call 1-888-348-4722 for a free sample.
Call 1-888-348-4722 for a free sample.
Free quart coupon of Elan Frozen Yogurt (only New England residents)
No, Honey, Tell Me What You REALLY Think.....
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Upon giving Joey his dinner plate this evening, the following conversation occurred:
NutzDad a.k.a. Joey: What the hell is this?
Mom: What do you mean? What does it look like? It's roast, mac and cheese and broccoli.
NutzDad a.k.a. Joey: No, what is this green stuff?
Mom: That would be broccoli dear.
NutzDad a.k.a. Joey: Well, I'm not eating it.
Mom: You said you wanted to eat healthier, this is healthier.
NutzDad a.k.a. Joey: Yeah, I said healthier not I wanna eat shit.
Mom: That's why I love you...your inability to articulate exactly how you feel.
I don't even bother anymore.........
Nicklaus: MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM....Noni is kicking me in my Phoenix!!..
Mom: Your what?
Nicklaus: You know...my....Phoenix.....
Mom: Oh dear God...what else will you come up with? It has to be a bit larger than it is anyway to get such a response anyway. Dammit Noni, quit kicking your brother's Arizona city...NOWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Mom: Your what?
Nicklaus: You know...my....Phoenix.....
Mom: Oh dear God...what else will you come up with? It has to be a bit larger than it is anyway to get such a response anyway. Dammit Noni, quit kicking your brother's Arizona city...NOWWWWWWWWWW!!!
WELCOME NEW TENANT...
Y'all go and visit justdawn, she's got purty pitchers and some funny stuff. Why am I typing like an uneducated hillbilly? Cuz, that's what I felt like doing...BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Did they Do the DOO in your Dew?
This is just nasty on so many levels.........
Clerk Gets 6 Months for Soda Urination
From Associated Press
June 22, 2006 4:13 PM EDT
DELAND, Fla. - A former convenience store clerk who urinated in a bottle of soda that was later drunk by a customer was sentenced Thursday to six months in jail.
Anthony Mesa, 22, has already served half his sentence since pleading no contest to tampering with a consumer product, and will remain on a form of house arrest for two years after release. He had faced up to 30 years in jail.
Circuit Judge James R. Clayton withheld adjudication on the case, which means Mesa will not be considered a convicted felon if he abides by the sentence.
Mesa was working at a Pix store in Deltona in August when he and a co-worker decided to play practical jokes. They put eggs in beer cartons, and Mesa thought it would be funny to urinate into a drink, according to arrest reports.
He admitted urinating into a Mountain Dew and placing it back into the refrigerator, authorities said.
The victim, a foreman with a Daytona Beach construction company, became suspicious of the drink after he chugged it and vomited three or four times. He settled a civil complaint with the store for an undisclosed amount of money before a lawsuit was filed.
---
Information from: Orlando Sentinel, http://www.orlandosentinel.com
Clerk Gets 6 Months for Soda Urination
From Associated Press
June 22, 2006 4:13 PM EDT
DELAND, Fla. - A former convenience store clerk who urinated in a bottle of soda that was later drunk by a customer was sentenced Thursday to six months in jail.
Anthony Mesa, 22, has already served half his sentence since pleading no contest to tampering with a consumer product, and will remain on a form of house arrest for two years after release. He had faced up to 30 years in jail.
Circuit Judge James R. Clayton withheld adjudication on the case, which means Mesa will not be considered a convicted felon if he abides by the sentence.
Mesa was working at a Pix store in Deltona in August when he and a co-worker decided to play practical jokes. They put eggs in beer cartons, and Mesa thought it would be funny to urinate into a drink, according to arrest reports.
He admitted urinating into a Mountain Dew and placing it back into the refrigerator, authorities said.
The victim, a foreman with a Daytona Beach construction company, became suspicious of the drink after he chugged it and vomited three or four times. He settled a civil complaint with the store for an undisclosed amount of money before a lawsuit was filed.
---
Information from: Orlando Sentinel, http://www.orlandosentinel.com
Answer anyone?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Where did it say in my marriage vows or Mommy Manual that upon assuming the role of Wife and Mother in the Nutz household that it is now MY responsibility to:
Know where clean underwear and socks are at all times? I mean how many times can one woman say, "They are in the damn dryer, sort through and find some...before the tenants in this house get a clue?
Be responsible for the feeding of all members of said household? How hard is it to spread some peanut butter on a damn piece of bread, really?
Know at all times where all beep-beeps, wrestling action figures and Barbie dolls are located? Hello....do I play with them? Let's think about that, shall we? Hell no.
Where is it decreed that I must change a crappy Pull-up once every two hours, every day, for the rest of my life?
When did I lose the power of intimidation? I mean, you tell these pint sizedhellions cherubs that the hubby spawned, "If this is not picked up in 5 minutes, I will kill all of you...then I will go to prison." Hey, that would scare the hell outta me, not these kidz, hell no...they just look up at you, and continue allowing Barbie and whatever action figure Nicklaus has in hand at the time, to beat the living shit outta one another.
Why have I suddenly started speaking some language that no one understands. The phrase..."Okay, it's time for a mommy moment, leave me alone....get out....play.....watch TV....hell, torture one another just.........LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....elicits only blank stares as one hangs on my back, the baby climbs up my legs and the girl tries to kill the other two to get her place in my lap. This is while I am typing this.
Okay, yes, it's been a long, errr....month....and I am patiently waiting for the padded wagon to come and pick me up. Hell, at least I'd get some drugs...wouldn't I?
Know where clean underwear and socks are at all times? I mean how many times can one woman say, "They are in the damn dryer, sort through and find some...before the tenants in this house get a clue?
Be responsible for the feeding of all members of said household? How hard is it to spread some peanut butter on a damn piece of bread, really?
Know at all times where all beep-beeps, wrestling action figures and Barbie dolls are located? Hello....do I play with them? Let's think about that, shall we? Hell no.
Where is it decreed that I must change a crappy Pull-up once every two hours, every day, for the rest of my life?
When did I lose the power of intimidation? I mean, you tell these pint sized
Why have I suddenly started speaking some language that no one understands. The phrase..."Okay, it's time for a mommy moment, leave me alone....get out....play.....watch TV....hell, torture one another just.........LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....elicits only blank stares as one hangs on my back, the baby climbs up my legs and the girl tries to kill the other two to get her place in my lap. This is while I am typing this.
Okay, yes, it's been a long, errr....month....and I am patiently waiting for the padded wagon to come and pick me up. Hell, at least I'd get some drugs...wouldn't I?
All I Can Say is Dayummm.....Don't Piss Granny Off
Okay...how much can an 85 year old man actually start "seeing" another woman? Could he technically see her and if so...what did he see? And, technically, is it only expected to last three days because most of the witnesses thought it was just fireworks for the 4th of July? It's a sad day when they won't disinter 12 people old enough to be jurors. Break out the pickaxes and shovels. One other note, yep...this is in Georgia, ain't it a proud day to be a Sutherner?
Geriatric Murder Trial Starts
ATLANTA (AP) -- Jury selection began today in Atlanta for a 79-year-old woman accused of fatally shooting an 85-year-old ex-boyfriend at their senior citizens home.But prosecutors might have a hard time finding a jury of peers for Lena Sims Driskell. She is nearly a decade older than the legal age for exemption as a juror in Georgia, which is 70.Of the 58 potential jurors at the start of jury selection, all but five appeared to be younger than 65. A list of the potential jurors' ages was not immediately available.Driskell is accused of killing Herman Winslow last June as he sat reading a newspaper. Police said Driskell became angry after Winslow broke off their relationship and started seeing another woman.Deborah Poole, Driskell's attorney, said her client is being deprived of her constitutional right to a fair trial because she will not be judged by a jury of her peers.Jennifer Lawson, the Superior Court jury clerk in Fulton County, said that while senior citizens are not excluded from jury service, any person 70 or older may be excused from jury duty with the submission of an age affidavit.Opening statements in the trial could begin tomorrow. The trial is expected last no more than three days.
(Copyright © 2006, The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
Geriatric Murder Trial Starts
ATLANTA (AP) -- Jury selection began today in Atlanta for a 79-year-old woman accused of fatally shooting an 85-year-old ex-boyfriend at their senior citizens home.But prosecutors might have a hard time finding a jury of peers for Lena Sims Driskell. She is nearly a decade older than the legal age for exemption as a juror in Georgia, which is 70.Of the 58 potential jurors at the start of jury selection, all but five appeared to be younger than 65. A list of the potential jurors' ages was not immediately available.Driskell is accused of killing Herman Winslow last June as he sat reading a newspaper. Police said Driskell became angry after Winslow broke off their relationship and started seeing another woman.Deborah Poole, Driskell's attorney, said her client is being deprived of her constitutional right to a fair trial because she will not be judged by a jury of her peers.Jennifer Lawson, the Superior Court jury clerk in Fulton County, said that while senior citizens are not excluded from jury service, any person 70 or older may be excused from jury duty with the submission of an age affidavit.Opening statements in the trial could begin tomorrow. The trial is expected last no more than three days.
(Copyright © 2006, The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
Yes...I have weird children...it's in their genes...BWAHAHAHAHA
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Tired of hearing my wee ones complaints at dinner time, I finally figured out a way to stop them...well, tonight at least. When asked what we were having, the following flew outta my mouth, "Roasted Woozle." (If you need an explanation of what a WOOZLE is in the NUTZ home, just click HERE) They thought the idea of eating Roasted Woozle was just the shizzle baby...and they asked for seconds and thirds. Did they really like the meat that much? Probably not, but they sure did like saying it......What did we really have?
That's a Pork Loin if ya didn't know.....And, they'll never eat it with a straight face again.....
That's a Pork Loin if ya didn't know.....And, they'll never eat it with a straight face again.....
If posting is not as often as usual around here, it will be again...promise...we just have a lot going on right now!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
| Your Personality Is Like Acid |
 A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell! |
A Bit Late...okay, okay, WAYYYYYYYYYY Late
Hell, I am not even in the running for Mother of the Year....
The kidz and I were over at Nanny & Poppy's house last night. My mom was performing a task that produced drastically different reactions from my two youngest. Noni was amazed and could not take her eyes off of her Nanny. My mom asked her, "Haven't you seen one of these before, Noni?" To which Noni replied, "Never." Mom looked at me and said, "Kellie, that is just sad." Nathan on the other hand was terrified of the objects...he went and hid under the dining room table. For some reason he was suffering some serious anxiety and fear.
What was my mom doing, you ask? Ironing shirts! I believe the ironing board may have traumatized poor Nathan....my rule is, "If you can't tumble the wrinkles out in the dryer...you shouldn't wear it." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What was my mom doing, you ask? Ironing shirts! I believe the ironing board may have traumatized poor Nathan....my rule is, "If you can't tumble the wrinkles out in the dryer...you shouldn't wear it." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
When Noni asks if she can play with A barbie doll in the bathtub, it's ALWAYS a good idea to see what her ONE barbie means.
Things that are Southern...Y'all Yankees Know what I am talking about?
Monday, June 12, 2006
Due to the responses my boiled peanuts received, I've gathered many of my readers have no concept of the blissful state of existence one resides in when born and raised Southern. I am a true G.R.I.T.S. (that's Girl Raised In The South) I embrace my Southern roots, I am proud as hell to be Southern. A person's life is not complete unless they've:
a) Chewed on a Sugar Cane, enjoying the sweetness and then spitting out the chewed up mass.
b) Sat on the back of a pick up truck devouring a huge slab of watermelon, the juice running down your chin, saving the seeds in your mouth to spit at a cousin or two. Also, being told that if you swallow said seed that a watermelon will grow in your stomach.
c) Picked a five gallon bucket or two of butterbeans, then shelled them until your thumbs got so sore you couldn't stand it.
d) played in a rain shower, unless it was lightnin'
e) seen houses covered in Kudzu, and not think it was an odd thing.
f) I don't know if Yankees do this, but honey, when someone dies in the South, the first thing the women do is start cooking. How casseroles,cakes & cobblers help out with grief is unknown, they just do.
g) been so busy playing that you didn't notice you'd swallowed a gnat or two.
h) had a heaping bowl of cheese grits for breakfast, everday, for years
i) said Yes ma'am or No ma'am to your elders. It's not about subservience, it's about respect.
j) squatted and peed in the woods, not very ladylike, but....when ya gotta go
I could go on and on and on...but I won't.
I will ask one question though...how come the Yankees say they are gonna barbecue, then you get there and it's hamburgers and hot dogs? Barbecue is shredded beef or pork with a tangy red sauce, and it's called grilling out, not barbecuing!
I will ask one question though...how come the Yankees say they are gonna barbecue, then you get there and it's hamburgers and hot dogs? Barbecue is shredded beef or pork with a tangy red sauce, and it's called grilling out, not barbecuing!
OKAY..I LIED...I'LL POST A FEW NOW....MORE THIS WEEKEND
Friday, June 09, 2006
WELCOME TO HELL
As I've mentioned, the hubster and I are in the process of buying a home and 7 acres. On our soon to be property, a OUTSIDE SHIT RECEPTACLE septic tank already exists. What does this mean? It means that an inspection must be done. I'm told all I need is the person's name that owned the land when the tank was put in. Simple enough. I get that information and head my happy ass, all three kidz in tow, to downtown Statesboro. Was it that simple? Why hell no. I get to the Zoning and Permit place and am told, "You must have a copy of the deed and Platt (?) to get a permit. So, here I am, three spastic children in tow, looking for the Clerk of Courts office. When I finally arrive at said office, all three kidz still alive, no matter that Noni has darted into traffic several hundred times, I wait an hour and a half for the documents. Get those, go back to the first place, wait an hour for the permit. Which isn't really a permit, you pay $ 50 for some guy to go out to your property, confirm that yes, this tank is the proper one to hold all of your waste and then, after 5 days, you can have your permit. In the meantime, I realize I've left Nathan's diaper bag at home and he has taken a massive dump in the Pull Up. I do have a spare in the car but, alas, no wipes...what's a mom to do? I spy a red bandanna, yep...mom wiped kid # 3 that had a hellacious #2 with a red bandanna, put it in a Wal-Mart bag, tied it and proceeded home. Five minutes hadn't passed and Nicklaus says, "Mom....I feel....Bleechhhh....sick!" The blechhhh part was when he hurled all over my car....I am rolling windows down, veering off into the first space I can and pulling him outta the car like a belligerent drunk on COPS. To top it all off, when we got home, Nathan decided to see what a piece of Styrofoam feels like when it's inserted up one's nose. It did not feel good. 30 minutes later after 10,000 applications of the nose sucky thing the damn piece of Styrofoam pops out. So, I do not feel like posting freebies right now....I will in the morning...Good night....
A HEAPING POT...OF...SOUTHERN!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Psychologist to Mom: Be Afraid.....Be Very Afraid...
Hell NO, I did not tell anyone, except all of you...and only 4 of you actually know how to find me...LOL...This is the work of my
Friday, June 02, 2006
HOLY BATSHIT BATMAN!! "WE ARE A FAMILY"
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Kick those hat boxes outta the way honey....the closet door is open. Personally, I would have picked Robin as the closeted homosexual in Batman, who knew?
Batwoman Is Back as a Lesbian
By LARRY McSHANE
AP
NEW YORK (May 31) - Years after she first emerged from the Batcave, Batwoman is coming out of the closet. DC Comics is resurrecting the classic comic book character as a lesbian, unveiling the new Batwoman in July as part of an ongoing weekly series that began this year.
The 5-foot-10 superhero comes with flowing red hair, knee-high red boots with spiked heels, and a form-fitting black outfit.
"We decided to give her a different point of view," explained Dan DiDio, vice president and executive editor at DC. "We wanted to make her a more unique personality than others in the Bat-family. That's one of the reasons we went in this direction."
The original Batwoman was started in 1956, and killed off in 1979. The new character will share the same name as her original alter ego, Kathy Kane. And the new Batwoman arrives with ties to others in the Gotham City world.
"She's a socialite from Gotham high society," DiDio said. "She has some past connection with Bruce Wayne. And she's also had a past love affair with one of our lead characters, Renee Montoya."
Montoya, in the "52" comic book series, is a former police detective. Wayne, of course, is Batman's true identity - but he has disappeared, along with Superman and Wonder Woman, leaving Gotham a more dangerous place.
The "52" series is a collaboration of four acclaimed writers, with one episode per week for one year. The comics will introduce other diverse characters as the story plays out.
"This is not just about having a gay character," DiDio said. "We're trying for overall diversity in the DC universe. We have strong African-American, Hispanic and Asian characters. We're trying to get a better cross-section of our readership and the world."
The outing of Batwoman created a furor of opinions on Web sites devoted to DC Comics. Opinions ranged from outrage to approval. Others took a more tongue-in-cheek approach to the announcement. "Wouldn't ugly people as heroes be more groundbreaking?" asked one poster. "You know, 200-pound woman, man with horseshoe hair loss pattern, people with cold sores, etc.?"
DiDio asked that people wait until the new Batwoman's appearance in the series before they pass judgment.
"You know what? Judge us by the story and character we create," he said. "We are confident that we are telling a great story with a strong, complex character."
DiDio spent most of the morning fielding phone calls from media intrigued by the Batwoman reinvention.
"It's kind of weird," he said. "We had a feeling it would attract some attention, but we're a little surprised it did this much."
Personally I could care less if Batwoman prefers Starkist over Oscar Meyer ...long as she kicks ass.
THIS MUST HAVE SEEMED RATIONAL AT THE TIME...RIGHT?
Man Severs Penis to Prove Faithfulness
AP
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (May 30)
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AP
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (May 30)
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A man who apparently severed his penis in an attempt to convince his wife that he was faithful to her was recovering after surgery to reattach the organ at a northern Malaysian hospital, a news report said Tuesday.
The 41-year-old man, who was not identified, got into an argument last Friday with his wife, who found a text message on his mobile phone from another woman. The man was heard by his son shouting that he wanted to prove he was not having an affair, the New Straits Times reported.
The assertion was followed by loud screams and the man emerged from his room bleeding profusely, his 14-year-old son quoted as saying. His wife rushed him to hospital.
The 41-year-old man, who was not identified, got into an argument last Friday with his wife, who found a text message on his mobile phone from another woman. The man was heard by his son shouting that he wanted to prove he was not having an affair, the New Straits Times reported.
The assertion was followed by loud screams and the man emerged from his room bleeding profusely, his 14-year-old son quoted as saying. His wife rushed him to hospital.
OH DEAR GOD..SHE'S SPAWNING AGAIN!
Yep...I'm back...Will post about our lil' trip, 2-morrow
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