5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED SINCE I WAS PREGNANT AND/OR HAD KIDZ
Sunday, June 25, 2006
* When you begin "showing" that you are with child, you should get a sign and hang it around your neck that reads:
"YES, PLEASE TELL ME ALL OF YOUR LABOR AND DELIVERY
HORROR STORIES. THAT WILL EASE MY MIND....BITCH
**I am not now or have I ever been a person tolerant of pain. During pregnancy with my firstborn, I was "Ms. Gonna Do This All Natural." I then experienced true labor pains.
I LEARNED THAT HOSPITAL ADMISSIONS CLERKS ARE NOT "AUTHORIZED" TO ADMINISTER EPIDURALS.
***I never knew it was possible to puked on, pissed on or crapped on and not have the option to
SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF THAT PERSON!!!
****Breastfeeding can "lull" you into thinking that the thing with your boobie in it's mouth doesn't have teeth.
***I never knew it was possible to puked on, pissed on or crapped on and not have the option to
SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF THAT PERSON!!!
****Breastfeeding can "lull" you into thinking that the thing with your boobie in it's mouth doesn't have teeth.
IT DOES, AND IT KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM!!
*****The fact that you hold a degree in English Communications has no bearing or power to impress the wee ones. All that matters is that you have the ability to read:
Fox
Socks
Box
Knox
Knox in box.
Fox in socks.
Knox on fox in socks in box.
Socks on Knox and Knox in box.
Fox in socks on box on Knox.
Chicks with bricks come.
Chicks with blocks come.
Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come.
Every Night....3,682 TIMES!!!!
************TO BE CONTINUED**********
************TO BE CONTINUED**********
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