WELCOME TO HELL
Friday, June 09, 2006
As I've mentioned, the hubster and I are in the process of buying a home and 7 acres. On our soon to be property, a OUTSIDE SHIT RECEPTACLE septic tank already exists. What does this mean? It means that an inspection must be done. I'm told all I need is the person's name that owned the land when the tank was put in. Simple enough. I get that information and head my happy ass, all three kidz in tow, to downtown Statesboro. Was it that simple? Why hell no. I get to the Zoning and Permit place and am told, "You must have a copy of the deed and Platt (?) to get a permit. So, here I am, three spastic children in tow, looking for the Clerk of Courts office. When I finally arrive at said office, all three kidz still alive, no matter that Noni has darted into traffic several hundred times, I wait an hour and a half for the documents. Get those, go back to the first place, wait an hour for the permit. Which isn't really a permit, you pay $ 50 for some guy to go out to your property, confirm that yes, this tank is the proper one to hold all of your waste and then, after 5 days, you can have your permit. In the meantime, I realize I've left Nathan's diaper bag at home and he has taken a massive dump in the Pull Up. I do have a spare in the car but, alas, no wipes...what's a mom to do? I spy a red bandanna, yep...mom wiped kid # 3 that had a hellacious #2 with a red bandanna, put it in a Wal-Mart bag, tied it and proceeded home. Five minutes hadn't passed and Nicklaus says, "Mom....I feel....Bleechhhh....sick!" The blechhhh part was when he hurled all over my car....I am rolling windows down, veering off into the first space I can and pulling him outta the car like a belligerent drunk on COPS. To top it all off, when we got home, Nathan decided to see what a piece of Styrofoam feels like when it's inserted up one's nose. It did not feel good. 30 minutes later after 10,000 applications of the nose sucky thing the damn piece of Styrofoam pops out. So, I do not feel like posting freebies right now....I will in the morning...Good night....
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