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Answer anyone?

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Where did it say in my marriage vows or Mommy Manual that upon assuming the role of Wife and Mother in the Nutz household that it is now MY responsibility to:

Know where clean underwear and socks are at all times? I mean how many times can one woman say, "They are in the damn dryer, sort through and find some...before the tenants in this house get a clue?

Be responsible for the feeding of all members of said household? How hard is it to spread some peanut butter on a damn piece of bread, really?

Know at all times where all beep-beeps, wrestling action figures and Barbie dolls are located? Hello....do I play with them? Let's think about that, shall we? Hell no.

Where is it decreed that I must change a crappy Pull-up once every two hours, every day, for the rest of my life?

When did I lose the power of intimidation? I mean, you tell these pint sized hellions cherubs that the hubby spawned, "If this is not picked up in 5 minutes, I will kill all of you...then I will go to prison." Hey, that would scare the hell outta me, not these kidz, hell no...they just look up at you, and continue allowing Barbie and whatever action figure Nicklaus has in hand at the time, to beat the living shit outta one another.

Why have I suddenly started speaking some language that no one understands. The phrase..."Okay, it's time for a mommy moment, leave me alone....get out....play.....watch TV....hell, torture one another just.........LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....elicits only blank stares as one hangs on my back, the baby climbs up my legs and the girl tries to kill the other two to get her place in my lap. This is while I am typing this.

Okay, yes, it's been a long, errr....month....and I am patiently waiting for the padded wagon to come and pick me up. Hell, at least I'd get some drugs...wouldn't I?