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Getting Back In The Swing of Things....

Monday, October 13, 2008


Hi y'all...does anyone even come and read this sorrier than hell blog anymore? I am going to try my best to begin blogging again..and believe me...I have lots to share!! So, once I again I am going to give you all a look into the train wreck that I call life....plus...I love letting the world get "all up in my bidness..." To kick things off I guess this is a good enough post as any~



The hubster (Joey) and youngest son (Nathan, 4) were taking a shower, (we do this sometimes it's a whole easier to shampoo his hair)
But, on to the funny ha ha part.
Whilst in the shower the Natester noticed....well...Joey's ummm....well...his nuts....
He asked his daddy what they were and Joey, thinking quickly replies "eggs."
Nathan promptly inspected his "eggs" and announced...
"I don't have eggs daddy, I think they hatch dud"
(yep...meant to spell it that way...because Nathan said it that way."

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A proud moment...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Most mothers get to brag on their children's report cards, the points they scored in a game, a great piano recital, you know "normal" parental bragging thangs...I, however, get to brag on things such as this:








For those of you who don't know...this is a tree climber. One can sit in the top of a tree and slaughter Bambi as he runs by underneath.

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Another Wonderful Joeyism

Saturday, October 27, 2007


If you remember the tattoo story, this is a little follow up. If you need to refresh your memory, click HERE. Anyway, I was talking to my friend, Sherri about this and she asked, "So, when ya gonna tattoo my name on you?" I replied, "Why next week, right on my left ass cheek!" Joey heard all of this, we were outside at my parents' house and we went back in and were sitting around talking to my dad and nephew. We related the topic of discussion and my husband added the following, what could only have formulated in my husband's mind, idea:


"I'm going to tattoo a "B" on each cheek, then when I bend over, it'll say "BOB."

His next idea however, was the undoing of my father, he was laughing so hard he had tears coming out of his eyes.

"No, I'll tell you what I want. I want to put an "M" on each one, then when I bend over it will say "MOM" and if I stand on my head, it will say "WOW!!"

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Dressed Up In Your Sunday Go To Church Meeting Clothes...

Thursday, October 18, 2007


Well the hubster is officially an usher at church now. Ushers are the ones that pass the offering plates to church goers on Sundays. The ushers are assigned a month and then usually don't have to do it again for a couple of months. Well, since he's become one he has to wear a shirt and tie. Usually he just wears jeans. However, we have plenty of dress pants and such thanks to my niece Lisa and her husband. They gave him slews of stuff that is still really brand new, in fact one pair of pants still had the tags attached. Since he is making this effort to dress up and look nice and knowing how much he absolutely HATES wearing ties, I thought maybe I'd try and find a nice tie pin with matching cufflinks for our anniversary in November. Maybe that will make him a little less apt to complain all the way to church that he is slowly being asphyxiated by his shirt and tie.

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And He Thought The Bag Was Gay??? OY!!

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Now I understand why hubby wouldn't carry the "lunch purse." It did NOT match his fingernail and toenail polish!! Dang it...I wish Rob were still here...wonder what he would say about this little incident?? Would he find him "beautiful in a manly sort of way?" One could also surmise from these pics that we have wayyyyyyyyyy too much time on our hands here at the Nutz household. In all fairness, the hubster deserved it, he's always painting Justin's nails when he falls asleep...





Fingernail Polish - $ 2.50


Bribing Noni to Hush Up Laughing So Loud - $ 2.00


Seeing Hubby wake up to go to the hunting club with a full set of red nails - PRICELESS





He took the fingernail polish off. But can't you imagine Mr. Manly Man having to go to the hospital and taking his shoes off.....and then showing off those pretty nails of his?? Guess the lunch purse may not look so bad after all!!



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Happy BIrthday To Who???

Friday, August 24, 2007


Although we are as broke as convicts, on Noni's birthday she asked to go to Hooter's of all places. Anyway, we were sick and tired of telling our kidz "no, we can't do that" and Joey did a side job that paid really well so off we went. Personally I think Nicklaus got her to ask to go to "The Land of Boobies." But they both said it was Noni who wanted to go...so I guess I'll let it go at that. We did have a good time, it was wonderful to be able to do something as a family that did not entail just driving to "the place we do not speak of" for our requisite $50-$60 of groceries for the week and cat litter & food for Jack, Loki, Kitty Fisher & the demon birds. Of course I had to tell our server that it was the Princess' birthday (gotta sing Happy Birthday again, ya know?) Sure enough, as soon as we were finished eating, our waitress went to the middle of the floor and clapped her hands and every waitress in the place flocked to her. (**more on this at bottom of post**) As one of them approached the table, followed by the rest of the flock, I could read Nicklaus' mind by the expression on his face. What did I gather about this moment? Well, I tend to think my boy was saying, "Oh my Lord, the Boobie Fairies have landed and they are coming straight to me....Yes Virginia, there IS a Boobie Claus!" They arrived at the table and asked Noni to come with them. This is her expression upon hearing that:






The Hooter Girls took her to the middle of the restaurant, where they announced that "Tinkerbell turned 21 today!" Then they made her do a little dance as they sang the Hooter's Happy Birthday Song for her:



She loved it. However, I believe in terms of happy kiddo, Nicklaus was the happiest of all.



** When Nicklaus saw the Hooter Girl clapping and all the others come to her, his little mind started workin' overtime. On the way home, this is what he'd conjured up:

Nick: "Well, I know how to get Hooter Girls, Daddy. I can just stand in the front yard and clap. They come to clapping."

Daddy: "Son, if it were that easy, I'd be outside clapping every night."

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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint." -Erma Bombeck

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Will someone please explain to me where does it say in my Mommy Manual that I am to check all pockets before I put them in the washing machine. Now, I know some of you moms/wives do this as second nature, I am not one of those. What precipitated this post? Why the following conversation I had with my oldest HELLION TERRORIST son, Nicklaus:


Just to set the scene properly, I carried pieces of a laser pointer/flashlight/ pen to him. Needless to say, it did not work anymore after being laundered. The item was bought by his dad for him and it cost around 4 bux at the place we do not speak of. It looked pretty much like this when I gave it to him:



Momz: "Nicklaus, I found this in the dryer. It doesn't work anymore. You have to remember to clean out your pockets."


Nicklaus: "Mom, why didn't you check my pockets???"

Momz: "Because I didn't. I do enough around here without having to remember to check pockets. Go ask you Dad how much stuff he's gotten messed up because he left it in his pockets."

Nicklaus: "Daaaaad"

Joey: Son, that's a battle you won't win. I've tried. Check your pockets from now on."

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Ha, Ha, Real Funny Nicklaus!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007




Nicklaus had a really bright idea the other day. Let me share it with you.


Momz: Nick-Nick, Daddy is working late again, y'all go get the demon birds in the pen.



Nick-Nick: Momma, I have an idea. It will make this whole thing a lot easier. See, what I want you to do is go and stand in the pen, when they start chasing you, you run out and I'll close the door.


Momz: Uh...yeah...that's gonna happen...umm...NEVERRRR!!


Nick-Nick: Hey, it was a good idea though. (giggle, giggle)

Later I told Joey what he said. His response?

"Ya gotta hand it to him, it was a dang good idea!"

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Ahhh....Today Was A Good Day....

Thursday, February 01, 2007


I don't believe the difference a few pills make in a person's life. Nicklaus came in, had his snack and DID HIS HOMEWORK. No yelling, no fussing, and no mindless repetitions of nonsensical phrases< (his latest was "giant rodents, giant rodents, giant rodents" repeated a million times....now you understand the name of the blog, huh?) Nicklaus decided that was a key phrase when we were going to the doctor the other day-WITH MY PARENTS-and their van broke down, on the side of the road. Nerves were frayed, and the mindless droning of "GIANT RODENTS, GIANT RODENTS, GIANT RODENTS" made, the usually unflappable Nanny (my mom) yell, "Nicklaus, honey, please, please SHUT UP...JUST SHUT UP, why are you saying Giant Rodents????" Yep...we all giggled a little bit, until, yep you guessed it, as we sat there stranded on the side of the road, the chorus of "Giant Rodents" began again. As usual I had my trusty camera, and this is what the Natester looked like....kinda bewildered by the whole "Giant Rodent" serenade, ya think? Or is it more, "Mom, please make him shut the hell up!"?







We've even got the bipolar, crazy ass husband's medications in sync with life (for now.) He was taking it all wrong. He takes 1500 mg of Depakote a day, he's supposed to take 1 Depakote and 1 of the Zyprexa pills in the morning and then 2 Depakote and an Effexor at night. He's been taking all of them at night, even when I told him that it wasn't the correct way. He started listening to me and the higher dosage of Zyprexa is really helping too....So much so that he and Nicklaus sat down and played a game of checkers, he sat and let Noni read to him. It was almost like a normal house....except for the fact that it is STILL the NUTZ household!!!




And the unexpected always happens...for instance....Nathan and I were here today, in our "potty training mode" and he comes up to me and says, "Momma I Dooooooooookied" no I did not teach him that word, it must have been one of the others. So, I tell him, "You've been telling mommy all day that you are not a baby you are a boy, boys don't "dookie" in their pants!" So, my little cherub looks at me and says, "I a stink butt momma..." and as I change him, he grins his maniacal little grin and asks, "I wotten Momma??" Which translates, "Am I rotten?" To which a mom can only say, "Yes, you stink like...errr...DOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIEEEEEEE"

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