Some people are like slinkies: not really good for anything... but you can't help laughing when you push them down the stairs.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Before I start ranting and raving about source of my anger, I am totally confused about the meaning of two words. Apparently, what I, a fairly smart woman with a degree in English, thinks the words mean is absolutely moronic in nature. This post isn't racist in nature, merely a post where I ponder the absurdity of certain things in this world. The words in question are as follows:
- advancement -
A forward step; an improvement.
Development; progress: the advancement of knowledge.
A promotion, as in rank.
The act of moving forward.
- equality-a state of being essentially equal or equivalent; equally balanced; "on a par with the best"
Are you wondering what event set me off, ready to go postal? Well...just a little matter with the NAACP(National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) and their stand on a new bill passed in Georgia. The bill states that people are not allowed to vote without a proper, picture ID. Dear lord, you would have thought a bill allowing the Ku Klux Klan to build a national meeting place in their city or state was passed. The following will explain exactly what I am talking about:
Legislation signed by Republican Gov. Sonny Perdue
Wednesday would require residents to show up at the
polls with a driver's license, military ID or state-issued
identification card with a photo. The bill has set off some
emotional and racial debates with critics who argue that
the measure deprives the poor, the elderly and minorities
less likely to have driver's licenses. They charged that
it's an effort by majority Republicans to make voting
more difficult for Blacks, who tend to vote Democratic.
While lawmakers say the bill is designed to prevent
voter fraud, the NAACP believes it’s a ploy to keep the
Democratic base of the poor and elderly Blacks from
"So we still think that this is an infringement," said
Richard Shinhoster of the Savannah NAACP.
"We're aware that Secretary of State Cathy Cox
testified that this was not fraud. We have more errors
occurring with absentee ballots in this area. So we
question the need to fix something that's not broken.
"Supporters said it would help fight voter fraud.
Critics argued it would disenfranchise the poor, minorities or elderly _
people who are less likely to have driver's licenses.
Those who helped pass the new bill do not believe that
a utility bill pulled out of a trash should enable someone to cast
a ballot," Perdue said. "It's a great step forward for the integrity
of our voting process." Similar legislation last year was blocked
by a federal judge because a state ID fee would have amounted
to an unconstitutional poll tax. This year's bill waives that fee.
Okay, let me throw in my two cent's worth.
- Did this article not state plainly that there were various options ID options available? The only one they seem to recognize is a driver's license. A state-identification card is available also and the cost is ZERO. So, that kind of throws the whole "can't afford to get one," out the window, huh?
- EQUALITY - the NAACP would piss me the hell off if I were black. How are you going to stand up in front of a crowd, tell them about the poor unfortunate souls in this world. The whole equality thing is blown out of the water in the first few sentences of his rhetoric. Nonetheless, making exceptions for any group due to skin color, education, religion, etc. is not a symbol of equality. Refusing to go and get an ID because "the racist government got me again. No, you got yourself. If a person isn't capable of taking care of this simple task, perhaps voting may not be a great idea. I have a hunch though that sometime before an election, someone from some organization will come out and pick up a whole neighborhood and take them to get their ID. Hell, when the polls are open, those same groups do everything short of roping people and throwing them in whatever mode of transportation is available.
- The NAACP was formed for the "Advancement" of Colored People. When the NAACP whines and moans about unfair treatment toward other races, they do nothing in the way of healing the divide (that pretty much lives in this groups brain.) So, you're not advancing, you're retreating.
Sometimes ya just feel like being a bit of a bitch!
Monday, January 30, 2006
I tried repeatedly to access my library account online to renew my checked out items. Finally, I used the contact us button and contacted someone. I do owe $4, and I have every intention of paying it, but, I needed to renew my materials. I have just completed doing that. Hee Hee
1ST EMAIL - SENT BY ME
From: Kellie Harmon
Question: I really need to get my PIN so I can
access my account. Can you help me?
2ND EMAIL - LIBRARY REPLY
I just changed your pin number to XXXXXX. However, you will not be able to access your account because you owe $4 in fines.
Once those are paid, you will have access to your Live Oak Public Libraries account again.
Stephanie S. Claypoole
3RD EMAIL - MY REPLY TO LIBRARY
According to Live Oak Public Library Policy, Section 5-Circulation Policy, my customer account status is Delinquent, I owe under $5 dollars. Thus, I am still entitled to FULL library privileges. If you are not familiar with this document, you may peruse it at the following: http://www.liveoakpl.org/PDF/CirculationPolicy.pdf.
Please let me know when my account can be accessed, thank you.
Kellie M. Hxxxxx
LAST ONE - LIBRARY'S REPLY TO ME
I apologize. You are most definitely correct. You can access your account now, using the xxxxxx pin number.
Stephanie S. Claypoole
SKIPPETY-DOO-DAH, SKIPPETY-AYE...MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY....
OMG...I FINALLY RENTED OUT MY BLOG!!
Please go on over to my sidebar and click on the link, I don't know what the hell it is with me and witches, but, I have another one! Of course, Maeve will always be #1!! You can even by some burning devil sticks (incense) to go along with your Satan Soap!!! So, go on over and visit...let her know I sent ya!!
I learned about a blog that I think you should all go take a look at. Just click here! Please keep in mind, his time may be limited, so if you'd like to submit anything for Vernon's perusal, you may not have a whole lot of time. There is an option however, skip on over HERE, go down to her post on Thursday, January 26, 2006, and ask the Wonderful Witch of the West when she will have her Satan's Soap available. Buy it, then, you're guaranteed to see Vern soon!
** If you do read Mr. Vern's blog, you might want to click the following links, just to get a little "more" information.**
TAKE A WALK ON THE DARK SIDE!
***PLEASE CHECK OUT THE MOM IS NUTZ SOAP...AND BUY TONS!!! MAEVE HAS CHANGED THE LINK TO HER STORE....HERE IS THE NEW ONE****The Most Wonderful Witch on the West Coast-Maeve- has decided to share her wonderful handmade soaps with the world! Support a fellow blogger and check out her new store! Tell her the Mom thatz Nutz sent ya! Click the following banner!
I HAD AN IDEA - I DID SOOOOOOO.....
Some of you know that money is really tight here at the NUTZ house. My tenure as a mom that is able to stay at home with her kidz is really wearing on our budget. We are in a deep hole and everytime we dig, more dirt falls in on us. So, I thought about ways to earn a little extra money. We are desperately trying to build hubby's credit so we can actually afford to buy a house, the report looks fine except for 2 bills for medical that equal about $800. We need to pay them and various other things that are not on the report. Grand dream I know, but Nathan doesn't even have a room at our house now. We rent and we've outgrown the place really. We put his bed in our room and it pretty much made it look like a dorm room. The neighborhood we are in just keeps getting more white trash, there has been one bust for a meth lab, and we highly suspect another one is just 4 houses down. Last night Joey went outside and said some very "I've lost my religion" phrases to them. The 3 boys were about 10-14 years of age and walking around at 4 am. Another reason we can't wait to move? We are almost positive that this house is ate up with mold and it keeps the kidz and I sick a lot. So, my idea? And please don't try to take it away and do it yourself, please. Following is a way I came up to make a little extra cash....and y'all can help me do it. The payment will be that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you do a good deed!! LOL
I found a fund raising company that for a reasonable amount print a proffesional cookbook for me. All I would need from all of you, would be anywhere from 1-5 recipes. You (or your online identity, and I am going to check into including your blog address for those who would like to do so) will be credited in the cook book and I will offer the finished books, anywhere from 50-100 books at first, then I could get reprints if necessary. The book would be some sort of catchy title pertaining to bloggers and the cookbook will exclusively contain recipes submitted by bloggers. Let me know what you think by voting in the polls below. THANKS!! ***Please send recipes to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Now...You KNEW Good and Well those Freebies Weren't Going to Be up On Friday!!!
Sunday, January 29, 2006
***I TRIED TO POST AS MANY AS POSSIBLE, HOPE YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING YOU WANT!!"
I'll be posting Freebies today sometime! Just check back
Saturday, January 28, 2006
FORGET THE PREVIOUS MISSING CHILD POST
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Several of you said that it sounded "fishy" about this child's abduction. I hate to say this, I hate to type this....you all were right. This child's mother murdered him. Actually, she and her husband just adopted him, after raising him for TWO years as a foster child. **See Below** She confessed, says she feels "relieved." Evil bitch...relieved? I always hate to believe the worst of a mother when a child is missing. I just can't believe until I hear it. Just the way I am. No matter how many times I tell my kidz I am gonna kill them...I would never do it. Each and every time I hear about something like this, my heart breaks. I cry. It just really effects me. Then I want the bitch that did it to die. Sorry, not that heartwarming, but I do. I hope and pray that each time, these poor children, did not die in a way that was "personal." I know that sounds weird, I'll try to explain. Remember Andrea Yates? She held each and every one of her five children, including one that tried to run away, down and drowned them all. Can anyone even imagine the terror, the confusion, the hurt in a child's eyes and mind as they look at the one person that is put on this earth to take care of them, to love them, to die for them if necessary, as this person murders them? They are still looking for his body, the evil bitch can't remember where she threw his body out. It was in the woods - somewhere.
Here's the story...and if you will notice...see, she's another murdering bitch...that was a "perfect" mom....thank God for my imperfections!
Mother faces murder charge in death of missing boy
The mother of a 3-year-old boy she reported missing Tuesday will be charged with murder in the toddler's death, law enforcement officials said.A murder warrant will be issued charging Mary Jean King, 34, according to a news release sent Thursday by Special Agent in Charge Jeff Evans of the Georgia Bureau of Investigation.did you read about my retarded son...LOL...he's a froot loop
King is said to be cooperating with investigators in the search for the body of her son, Ahmed Mashon Rawls King, according to Evans.
She reported the child missing Tuesday from the Wal-Mart parking lot in Jesup.
Lawmen served a search warrant at midnight Wednesday at the residence of Timothy and Mary Jean King, 32 & 34, east of Alma near the Pierce-Bacon county line.
Timothy King was questioned and released. Mary Jean King was being held in the Bacon County Jail.
Evans said information gathered from Mary Jean King indicates the boy is dead.
"We are conducting extensive searches in hopes of recovering his body," Evans said.
As part of that search investigators asked that anyone who might have seen a gold Toyota Camry in the vicinity of Georgia highways 203, 15 and 32 between the hours of 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. on Tuesday contact them. The phone number is (912) 389-4103.
Mary Jean King recently adopted Ahmad, officers said.
GBI agent Greg Harvey of the Kingsland office said, "As far as we know, this family had a stellar reputation as far as being foster parents."
The Kings have two biological sons, ages 13 and 17. An adopted daughter has been removed from the home.
Faye Miller, a 4-H teacher in Alma, taught both of the Kings' sons. She said, "The children were just so well-mannered." She said anyone who knew them "spoke highly of the family."
Miller said, "This is big news in a little town. It is heart-wrenching anywhere, especially when everyone here is a neighbor, friend or family."
Priscilla Reynolds, a King family acquaintance, said, "I thought for sure they were going to find that baby alive. When I heard the news it just shook me up."
Deborah Brinson, another family acquaintance, said, "I just didn't really think she was that type of person. It's just shocking. I've known her for years. She always seemed like a quiet person to me."
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
You've been warned, proceed at your own risk.
Last night the hubby and I were lying on the couch watching some T.V. ALONE!! Nicklaus, Noni & Nathan were all in Nicklaus' room, either playing with the hairy fairy Bob or watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I may have mentioned before that when Joey and I got married, he had long hair. I liked it. He got it cut one day...I still liked it. He's kept it short for years. One day I noticed he seemed on this mission to grow his hair long again. And being the perceptive wife that I am, I asked, "What's the deal with the hair? One last hurrah before the receding hairline takes over?" Needless to say, I was right. I told him his hair was getting thinner and he wouldn't believe me, the lady that cuts his hair tells him and it's time to grow our hair to our ass. Anyway, I decided to be a
TOTAL FRIGGIN' WEIRDO loving and concerned wife. This is the conversation we had:
ME: Ya know, it's because you wear a hat all the time that your hairline is receding.
HUBBY: It is not, science has disproved that. It comes from your mother.
(**I know male pattern baldness is inherited from your mother, or so I've heard**)
ME: Since when do you know what science has disproved? Why don't we buy some Rogaine?
HUBBY: That stuff doesn't work.
ME: How do you know? When have you used Rogaine?
HUBBY: I just know.
ME: You know, I was watching television, and some show had a fool proof method. Works in 2 weeks.
HUBBY: Yeah, right, what would that be?
****HEE, HEE, HEE, (not out loud though, I was TOTALLY serious.honey!)
ME: You rub protein on your thinning area and in 2 weeks the hair is all grown back.
ME: Yeah, protein. The best kind is semen.
HUBBY: I'll have the combover from hell before I put cum on my head. I ain't putting no damn cum on my head.
ME: No, you don't understand, you just rub a little on your scalp at night and wash it off in the morning.
HUBBY: No, you don't understand. I am not rubbing DICK SNOT on my head or anywhere else on my body.
They're Comin' To Take Him Away-(the guys in white with the really odd jackets) Part Deux
Alrighty...maybe not, but they should. **THIS POST MAY BE RATHER LONG, BUT I SWEAR....I HAVE TO TYPE ALL OF IT...SO, JUST READ IT, WHAT ELSE YA GOT TO DO? LOL*** Seems Nicklaus told the psychologist
A BIG BUNCH OF BULLSHIT lots of interesting things besides the fact I am a C level cook. Much, much more interesting. During the course of his little consultation, WITHOUT HIS MEDICINE, the question, "Do you ever see things that aren't really there?" came up. Oh hell, the floodgates opened honey, let me tell you, the eldest child had lots of answers for that one. I must tell you, I am still in a somewhat stunned, though highly amused mood. This was related to me by Nicklaus, and he seemed to be quite adamant about it. So, I believe the little SHITHEAD darlin' really did tell the lady all of the following. I'll now switch to my preferred mode of relaying conversations via blog for you:
Head Doctor : "So, Nicklaus, do you ever see anything that may not really be there?"
Nicklaus: " Ummm....Do you mean like an imaginary friend?"
Head Doctor: " Well, yes, that is one form of seeing something that's not really there. That is why it is called an "imaginary" friend. You have an imaginary friend? Tell me about him."
Nicklaus: "Okay, ummm.....at night when I go to sleep I have a imaginary friend that comes in and we play."
Head Doctor: "What sort of things do you play?"
Nicklaus: "Well, we kick bad guys' butts and then we go get cotton candy and soda."
Head Doctor: "Does your fairy friend have a name?"
Nicklaus: "Yes, it's Bob."
Head Doctor:"Bob?? What does Bob look like?
Nicklaus: "Well, he's got wings and a wand. He's got a really hairy chest, and hairy arms, hairy armpits and he's got toe fungus."
Head Doctor: "Toe fungus?? That's interesting. (According to Nicklaus, she says this a lot, wonder why?) What does Bob wear? "
Nicklaus:"He wears black pants and a gray T-shirt that says "Bob" on it."
Head Doctor: " That's interesting."
Nicklaus: " I also have a wolf that talks to me and a dragon, I live in the dragon's pouch."
Head Doctor:"That's interesting, Nicklaus, well, our time is up. You'll have to come back for one more test, okay?"
Nicklaus: "Okay, bye." (they walk to the reception area)
Head Doctor: "Ms. Harmon, we're going to have to do one more test, please make an appointment. We covered a lot of ground today. Nicklaus told me some very interesting things."
Me: "I'm sure he did. He tends to say a lot of interesting things."
Head Doctor: "Yes, well, please make that appointment. I'd like to finish this testing and let you know the results."
She turns to the receptionist and says, "Please try to get Nicklaus in as soon as you can."
"Ms. Harmon, thank you, I'll see you soon. Bye Nicklaus"
Car Ride Home
Nicklaus: "Guess what I got to do?"
Nicklaus: "Grade you and Daddy as parents."
Me:"Oh great...I know I passed, being the wonderful, nurturing mother that I am. What did they want you to grade us on?"
***This is the point of the ride I discovered that I am a C level cook. Damn, I only cooked the Tater Tot Casserole cause it seemed interesting, if it didn't look right, I was gonna pop a Hot Pocket in the micro and let them have at it..LOL***
Nicklaus: "Then she asked me all these really goofy questions."
Me: "Like what?"
Nicklaus: "Well, she asked if I see stuff that isn't there. Isn't that like hallucinating, Mom?"
Me: "Yeah, it can be. What did you tell her?"
***THIS IS WHERE HE TOLD ME ABOUT "BOB" THE "WOLF" AND THE "DRAGON"***
Me: "Nicklaus, you told that woman all that? You have imaginary friends? What the heck kinda fairy is hairy? So, you told that woman, a hairy fairy, that's a man named Bob visits you each night? What do you and Bob do?"
The kicking butt and cotton candy/soda story here.
Me: "Nicklaus, let me repeat this one more time...a hairy fairy, named Bob, with toe fungus, visits you every night, the two of you then proceed to kick bad guy's but and skip to the loo and get y'all some cotton candy and soda?"
Nicklaus: Giggling uncontrollably, trying to catch breath, finally, "Yes ma'am, that's what I told her."
Me: "Why did you tell that woman that? Why haven't you told me you have this hairy fairy Bob person?"
Nicklaus: "You've never asked."
Me: "Nicklaus, who in the hell would ever even think of asking their kid about some hairy man with wings and a wand named Bob that traipses around and eats cotton candy and soda? Geezus, you know good and well you don't have imaginary friends, you don't, do you?"
***LOUD GIGGLING, TEARS ROLLING OUT OF HIS EYES, CAN'T SPEAK FOR A FEW MINUTES...THEN HE INFORMS ME HE TOLD HER ABOUT SOME TALKING WOLF AND A DRAGON THAT LETS NICKLAUS RESIDE IN HIS POUCH. I PROMISE, I USUALLY TRY TO REFRAIN FROM EVEN "small" CUSS WORDS AROUND THE KIDZ...I FAIL ALOT, BUT I TRY***
Me: "What in the hell are you trying to do? Get taken to the loony bin? Damn, why in the hell did you tell that woman all of that?"
Nicklaus: "Well, she seemed like she wanted me to say something and I did. She thought it was interesting."
Me: "So you made all that up to be interesting?"
Nicklaus: "Yeah, I like the way she says, "Hmmm...that's interesting."
Me:"Nicklaus, after that load of crap, that woman doesn't think you're "interesting" she thinks you are a fruit cake. And damn dragons don't have pouches, do they?"
Nicklaus:"Some of them do."
Me: "They do not. Oh hell, I'm as warped as they come. Insanity must run in families. Lord, they are gonna come and lock you up in a padded room."
Nicklaus: "You always say I am just like you...they won't really come take me away, will they?"
Me: "Hell no, but I think I'm calling them to come and get me. Nah, I probably would have done the same thing anyway. She already thinks I'll never win Mother of the Year, I am sure."
Me: "Well, when daddy and I went to talk to her about the results of all of this so far, she asked me if you repeated things, words and stuff.
(***Remember the ride from hell post? Withheld was the word, and it lasted a looonnnnggg time.***)
So, she asked me how I got you to stop.
I said I usually let you go on until it got on my last nerve and then I usually said, Rainman, sit back and shut up.
She asked what you say then. And I told her.....
Nicklaus: "I'm an excellent driver, I'm an excellent driver."
Me: "Shut up and sit back Rainman."
Could this be Bob without his wings and wand?
Oops, I forgot to mention that I told Nicklaus that I had an imaginary friend also. When he asked his name, I said, "John Cena, he comes over when you and Noni are at school."
(Y'all know I got it bad for Mr. Thuganomics....meeting him only made it worse...I know...redneck as hell to have the hotz for a WWE Wrestler....hell no, it ain't...look at this boy"
Guess what my little smart ass said? "Mom, that's not an imaginary friend, that is definitely hallucinations."
YOU DID WHAT????
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
For about the last month or so, Nicklaus, the eldest child, has been to see a psychologist. The reason is it is time to re-evaluate his ADHD status. Well, he's got a little bit more than just ADHD going on, but, we haven't learned all of the details as of yet. Nothing major. Anyhow, today we went in for his social/emotional testing. When he came out, he was talking about what they were asking and stuff. Nicklaus said, " I had to grade you and Daddy." Oh hell, I know I passed with flying colors. Among the questions was one about cooking. Nicklaus told me, "I gave you a C." "Alright, whatever, what did Daddy get?" "I gave Daddy and A." WTF?????????? "Daddy makes his famous sandwiches." So, I see how this shit works....I cook 7 days a week, once every 2-3 months, Joey makes up some club sandwiches and a BLT for me. And he gets an A. One damn Tater Tot Casserole and I've been graded below average....Great...damn kidz. To be continued...
Ha Ha Ha
Monday, January 23, 2006
The two oldest
MINIONS FROM HELL children and I were riding in the car the other night. Now, I know my driving isn't spectacular or anything. I don't get tickets or have accidents, I just make the ride exciting. LOL.... Anyway, I went over a set of railroad tracks a little too fast, I suppose. How do I know? Because this is what I heard the eldest spawn tell the middle one:
"Please keep your hands and feet in the vehicle at all times.
Please make sure your passenger restraint bar is put on properly.
We hope you enjoy your ride with Mom. Riding with Mom isn't just a car ride Noni, it's an adventure!"
Smart ass kidz!!
Don't Forget My Store
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Hi, thought I would post a few items that have been marked down. Prices are low, quantities are limited, so don't put off shopping or the item may be sold out!! Thanks so much!! Click on the MOMZ Giftz banner on my sidebar and then look in the category Super Sale Items if you'd like to order any of the following:
119-Piece Tools Set
119-piece tool kit includes metric/inches sockets,
hex and standard wrenches, screwdrivers, pliers and
much more. Entire home/auto set stores compactly in
hi-impact polystyrene carry case. 14" x 12 1/2" x 3" high.
Price: Regularly $99.95 now only $ 51.99
Alabastrite Gargoyle Wind Chimes
Let the tinkling tunes of the Guardian Gargoyle wind
chimes keep the bad spirits at bay!
Price: Regularly $14.95 now only $ 9.99
Dragon Sword With Display Stand
The sensational design of this dragon sword mirrors
the undulating shape of the beast for which it was named.
A dazzling piece for the serious collector.
Black wooden display stand included.
Usually sells for $59.95, Sale Price: $39.95
21 3/4" long. 14" blade.
Wood Sail Boat
Crafted in wood with cotton sails and
hand-tied rigging, this 4-masted sailing ship
is a great display piece for office or den.
12 1/2" x 3" x 11" high.
Regularly sells for $21.95 on sale now for $14.95
Magical Sword On Stand
In the style of King Arthur's sword-in-the-stone,
this fine piece offers a textured handle and its own,
fitted plastic display stand.
Stand: 2 3/4" x 3 1/8".
Sword: 11 1/2" high.
Regularly priced at $15.95 On sale for only $9.95
Metal Flower Shop Planter
Reminiscent of a flower vendor on a Paris thoroughfare, this crafted metal planter presents 6 of your favorite potted plants in elegant display, (plants and pots not included).
Was $ 79.95 Now Only $ 49.95
29 1/2" x 12 1/2" x 31 1/2" high.
Wolf Headdress Plaque
A wise warrior in a wolf headdress that symbolizes loyalty,
perseverance, and stability of thought is at the center
of this magnificent rabbit fur lined leather plaque.
Bead accents on alabastrite.
6" x 2 1/4" x 11 1/4" high.
Reg. Price- $24.95
Now Only $15.95!!
I'LL BE ADDING MORE SOON!!
Yep, I had his Tiger Beat Pics on My Wall...
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Do any of y'all remember him? If you do, did ya have pics too? Okay, I'll confess, I also had an album and T-shirt.
Leif, Leif, Leif...if you're gonna go out and score ya some heroin, for God sakes, save enough moolah for the subway dumbass!!
Former Teen Idol Garrett Charged With Heroin Possession
By Richard Winton, LA Times Staff Writer
heroin after his arrest in the Pershing Square subway station over the weekend. Garrett was due to appear in Los Angeles County Superior Court later today. If convicted, he would be eligible for a diversion program rather than a prison sentence, officials said. Garrett, 44, was being held without bail because he was also detained on a bench warrant for allegedly violating the terms of his probation for a previous offense, Los Angeles County sheriff's and district attorney's officials said. The musician-actor, who has a history of drug issues dating from the 1970s, pleaded guilty in March to attempted possession of cocaine-based narcotics and was placed on probation, said Sandi Gibbons, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles district attorney's office, on Tuesday. At a Dec. 20 hearing in that case, a judge issued a bench warrant for Garrett's arrest for an unspecified reason, Gibbons said. Garrett was detained about 6 p.m. Saturday on the platform of Pershing Square's Red Line station by Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies assigned to the transit unit.According to deputies, Garrett was detained after he was found to be without a ticket to ride the rail system. A check turned up suspected narcotics and the warrant for his arrest, officials said. Garrett was booked and assigned to the jail Sunday.
Seventies teen idol Leif Garrett was charged this morning with possession of
NO, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY....
But, it beats him playing with his own poop anyday!!
Don't We All??
Yep, at one time or another, we all wish Noni had one of these!! LOL
Late...But, I'm Getting Better....Right?
If you should happen to need a password, it is: scentstories1. I just added the above to my cart and it worked out fine.
(I think I've listed this one already, oh well)
I miss the simple things....
Friday, January 20, 2006
About not having kids. I would not trade mine for a million bux....well, if I could buy them back at half price maybe...anyhoooo......Some women miss their "girls" lunches, their shopping trips, uninterrupted sleep. I guess I do some, but the thing I miss the most of all? The privacy of going to the bathroom and being able to wipe my be-hind without kidz at the door asking questions, sticking hands or cars under the door, or worse yet, coming in to enjoy the aroma, just once more, before I am in Depends, I wanna grab the Charmin and wipe....with no one else in or around the bathroom with me. That's all, big dreams will get me nowhere, I know...but, dammit...I can dream.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I was vacuuming my hall when I heard Noni screaming over the whirrrrrrr of the motor. I turned off the vacuum, saw all 3 of my children scrambling like mad banshees to get their shoes on. Even Nathan! Of course he was just copying the other two. I turn around and ask the very panicky children I created, "what is the matter with y'all? Why ya puttin' your shoes on? And in such a crazy rush?" Note: I NEVER ask just one question, I must run them all together, then look at my children wondering why they haven't answered yet, I know, they are waiting for me to shut up, so they can. Anyway, Noni looks at me all worried and says, "Momma, please let me get my slippers on before you do the living room, pleasssssssseeeeeee??" I can't let this one go, "What in the heck for, why do you need your shoes on for me to vacuum??" My oldest two
HELLIONScherubs say in all seriousness, "Momma, we don't want to lose our toes!!" Seems that man I married told his offspring when I was doing a little cleaning over the holidays they had to stay on the couch while I vacuumed or else the Carpet Fresh stuff would eat their toes off....hey...works for me.
****WARNING, MAY CAUSE TOES TO FALL OFF****
I'll be backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Here Ya Go......
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
I added a Weather.Com thing on my sidebar just for you....Being your friend and all, I wanted you to know what kind of weather we have on any given day. One thing I can pretty much guarantee??? NO SNOW!! NO SNOW PLOWS!! If it does snow, it melts before it hits the ground!! Love ya girlfriend!!!
I Had To Share This With Those of You That Own Dogs...
I generally check all of the incoming "scare" emails I get for validity on SNOPES.COM. 99% of them are, well, to put it plain and simple bullshit. However, I received one today concerning Diamond Pet Foods. Here is a brief synopsis:
"On Monday, January 9, The New York Times quoted veterinarians at Cornell University Hospital for Animals, who are tracking dogs affected by the contaminated pet food, as saying they believe that 100 dogs have died nationwide from aflatoxin poisoning. The veterinarians fear the number could rise significantly, because dog owners, preoccupied by holiday activities, may not yet be aware of the threat.The pet food, sold under the labels Diamond, Country Value andProfessional, was produced by Diamond Pet Foods, a privately ownedcompany based in Missouri. The company issued a recall on December 20 when aflatoxin was discovered in pet food made at its Gaston, South Carolina facility, and shipped to stores throughout the east andsoutheastern United States as well as to 29 countries."
For the complete listing of products and all available information, please click HERE. This company deserves any and all trouble, lawsuits or whatever evil thrown their way.
Need Some Help....
How do I get a thingy on my sidebar that will say "What I'm Reading Now" with a pic of the book and stuff? I wanna do that...can't figure out how....HELPPPPPPPPP
****ONE OTHER THING...HOW DO I ADD MY LOCAL WEATHER THINGY TOO?? I'VE LOOKED...CAN'T FIND IT.....
He' Such a Manly Man...that Man I Married...
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Hubby is putting in extremely long hours to help get us back up on our feet and out of the red. Trying to do a nice wifely type thing, I offered to make him a hot bath and let him soak his weary body, tired, achy muscles, the whole spiel. Please keep in mind, bubble baths are considered a girly girl thing to the love of my life. In fact, he thinks just plain baths are also, most of the time. But from time to time I get him to agreee to one, I know how good it will make him feel. He balks at first and then finally agrees. I ask, "Do you want me to put some bubbles in it for you?" Of course he says, "NO!" I continue on with, "I can put some manly bubbles in it," thinking I'd get some of his guy shower gel stuff and put it in the tub. He ended our debate/conversation with the following statement: "If I fart in the bathtub, that's a manly bubble bath." All I could say, was, c'mon in unison...."oh you are soooo gonna be a blog entry..." ROFLMAO
Please Fasten Your Seat Belts....
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman, in particular, loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!
Is there anyone on thisplane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"
For a moment there is silence.
Everyone has forgotten their own peril.
They all stare, eyes riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a cowboy from Wyoming stands up in the rear of the plane.
He is handsome: well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time.
No one moves.
He removes his shirt.
Muscles ripple across his chest.
She gasps . .
He whispers . .
"Iron this. Then get me a beer."
NEVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN....
You who read my blog know that since hunting season began my husband lives in the woods and generally one or two kidz accompany him whilst he tracks wild animals to slay for food purposes. In the interest of doing something "together" I decided that when the eldest two and their father were going to traipse around in the woods behind our house, I'd go with them. They like looking for animal tracks and such. The only other way to do a "together" thing would be to wake up before dawn and go to the woods with him/them. Now, I climbed trees as a kid, loved it, I'd climb one today, however, there is not a thing on this earth that will get me into the freezing cold weather just to perch my boot-ay in a tree. Perhaps if I was being chased, but it would have to be by something very large, very hungry and very mean. Thus, I decided to go to the woods. Yee Haw... Huge error in judgment on my part. I just wanted to see what in the world was so special about walking around a bunch of trees looking for whatever. So, off we went. Hubby warned me it may be a little wet. A little wet my ass. Please look at the following pictures I took, what you thought I'd leave the camera at home. Please pay attention to the one of Noni walking through the water. Yep, that's a bit damp, ya think?? I will no longer accompany them into the swamp. If they should decide to want "together" time then they can visit me in the laundry room while I am trying to verify that there is still a floor in there, I will be busy washing that damn never ending stack of clothes. What?? Did ya evah hear me say I was an outdoor person? Didn't think so!! One other point I'd like to make that at no time during this tour of hell did I whine, bitch or moan....well, out loud anyway!! And why did scenes from Deliverance and a Charlie Daniels (see below) song keep running through my head?
The Legend Of Wooly Swamp
If you ever go back into Wooly Swamp son you better not go at night
There's things out there in the middle of them woods
That'd make a strong man die from fright
There's things that crawl and things that fly
And things that creep around on the ground
And they say the ghost of Lucias Clay gets up and it walks around
But I couldn't believe it, I just had to find out for myself
And I couldn't conceive it, I never would listen to nobody else
No I couldn't believe it, I just had to find out for myself
That there's some things in this world you just can't explain
The old man lived in the Wooly Swamp way back in the gurgling woods
And he never did do a lot of harm in the world
But he never did do no good
People didn't think too much of him
They all thought he acted funny
The old man didn't care about people anyway
All he cared about was his money
He'd stuff it all down in Mason jars and bury it all around
But on certain nights if the moon was right
He'd dig it up out of the ground
He'd pour it all out on the floor of his shack
And run his fingers through it
Old Lucias Clay was a greedy old man
And that's all there ever was to it
The Crayton boys were white trash they lived over on Parvis Creek
They were a real snake and sneaky as a cat
And belligerent when they'd speak
One night the oldest brother said ya'll meet in the Wooly Swamp later
We'll get old Lucias' money and we'll pitch him to the alligators
They found the old man out in the back with a shovel in his hand
And thirteen rusty Mason jars he just dug up out of the sand
And they all went crazy and they beat the old man
Then they picked him up off the ground
Then they threw him in the swamp and they stood there and laughed
Till the black water sucked him down
Then they turned around and went back to the shack
And they picked up the money and ran
But they hadn't gone nowhere when they realized
They were running in quicksand
And they struggled and screamed but they couldn't get away
Then just before they were gone
They could hear that old man laughing
In a voice that was loud and strong
Now that's been fifty years ago an' if you go back by there again
There's a spot in the yard in back of that shack
Where the ground is always wet
And on certain nights if the moon is right
And you're down by the dark footpath
You can hear three young men screaming
And you can hear that old man laugh
Things I Learned During Christmas Vacation
Thursday, January 05, 2006
1) In the past I've been quite proud to proclaim, "I am a full time stay at home mom of 3." However, after having all three of my
HELLIONS children in my home 24 hours a day, I realize that I have been lying. I am a full time stay at home mom to a 2 year old, I have my 4 year old after 12:00 each day, and my eldest, 10, after 2:25 pm, Monday - Friday. If I had all three of these children every day, all day, I would be institutionalized. At the least I'd be sitting in a corner babbling incoherently and slobbering all over myself.
2) I have also learned that no matter how much you dress up your little girl in pink, frills and lace, and no matter how much she loves all the girly stuff, it will only take one outing with Daddy to "the place we do not speak of" and she will come back like this: Yes, that is a dead bird in her hand, she went on a dove hunt with Daddy and her brother. Yeehaw honey!! (Please be advised, Noni did NOT shoot the gun she is holding, it is unloaded and safety is on, plus daddy is right there, she is well supervised.)
3) It is very annoying and slightly amusing to drive your "had one drink too many" husband home. I was subjected to the following:My husband thinks he is a Jack in the Box, he kept popping up from the passenger's seat every few minutes to say or ask:
a) Hell, what are you a Nascar driver?
b) Slow down, watch out for that car!
c) Where in the hell are we going?
d) Quit riding the brake!!
My replies were:
a) Yeah, I'm a damn Nascar driver can't you
tell by all the money we have?
b) I am going the speed limit.
Honey, that car is behind us.
c) Where are we going? Hell, let's think
about that shall we? Wanna just
keep driving till we cross the border?
d) I am applying the brake, not riding it,
we are at a stop sign.
I also rolled down the windows so the car wouldn't smell like smoke when the kidz got in. You would have thought I'd put him in an igloo the way he bitched about the cold. I rolled them up and opened the sunroof. His reaction? Let me just kick the damn windshield out and I'll ride with my goggles on.
4) When you decide that you can't pay the cable bill and research Direct TV planning to utilize the special deal, praying that when the 3 month time limit is up you can afford it, it is always a great idea to actually KNOW you can get Direct TV. We'd have to cut down half the trees in the yard to get it. So, here I was, stuck in a house with a fuzzy picture TV, rabbit ear antennae and 3 kidz jonesing for some Sponge Bob.
5) I need to research sexual innuendo or foreplay methods. Seems like I am behind the times. I mean how could I not know, "You going to stay on that computer all night?" Is actually slang for, "I want to make love to my wife?"
6) There is no way on earth to keep our climbing monkey boy, Nathan, out of the kitchen area. The first picture is of the regular baby gate. The second of the new "improved" model. A piece of smooth wood nailed to the gate. It worked for 2 hours. Then he scaled it like a champ. 7) I learned that if your oldest son changes clothes 3 times a day, your daughter 5 times a day and you change your baby's outfit 2-3 times, you can run your washer and dryer 24 hours straight and it will still look like this: If only my laundry were a source of fuel...damn, we'd always have plenty.!! 8) I learned while reading a bit about Andrea Yates and Susan Smith, (both evil/sick women who drowned their children) that if anything ever happened to mine I would be the last suspect. Why? By all accounts the above two were perfect mothers, never raising their voices, patient, kind, etc...Hell, you can hear me yelling at my kidz 3 miles away. No one could testify that I was a model mother, therefore, I am incapable of harming my children, because quite frankly, most days I suck at motherhood. We play it by ear around hear....and my kidz are great.
9) Every year I go to Bass Pro Shop or Home Depot or some other "manly" type store for the kidz to buy daddy's presents. I suggest useful or wanted items, camo gear, knife, gloves, socks, deep fryer for fish, etc. Every year Joey let's the kidz pick out whatever they want. I've recieved teddy bears, ugly ass water fountain thingys, cake mix (yep, a cake mix) & much more. Every year I've had to act overjoyed and then place the item in a prominent place in our home to display. My all time favorite was a golden retriever statue that Nicklaus found at Wal-Mart. Keep in mind at this time their was a golden retriever running around the neighborhood, staying in our yard at times, stealing items that interested it. I'd left my favorite pair of shoes in the whole world, Bass leather slide on type, they were not cheap shoes, well that mutt took them. Soooo, I was not the biggest fan of that particular breed. Now we own one, go figure. Anyway, this year Joey thought it would just funnier than hell to let me thing Nicklaus had picked out another Jim Dandy gift. I was told that the box contained a complete set of figurines. The set was an African-American family. Keep in mind, I didn't care if it was African American, Jewish, or hell, statues of my own damn family, I did not want nor need more dust collectors. The hubster really enjoyed my discomfort when I had to open the package, he knew I was building up my enthusiasm for another totally useless, not needed, present. Well, my funny man lied. Nicklaus had picked me out a crock pot. The funniest part? When Nicklaus asked me, "Did I outdo the dog statue, mom?" To which I replied, "You sure did, that dog statue was a hard one to top, but you did it!!"
10) I gained this handy piece of knowledge. Sometimes only 50 yards or so is all that is needed to completely change one's piss poor attitude into one of complete and utter joy. No explanation needed, look below: 11)***Note, this actually occurred before the holidays, but I thought I'd throw it in also.*** My biggest lesson concerned a certain prescription drug. See, I took my Ambien one night, and it did not do anything, so I took another. Then I forgot I'd taken 2 and proceeded to take another. Let's just say I was too looped for words. Joey said one eye was staring at the wall and the other at him. I was the most annoying little shit on the face of the earth that night. Joey said, "I would have left that night and stayed elsewhere, but, then I thought about it and said, hell no, I ain't leaving my youngins' with her loopy behind." I did all kinds of brilliant things but, I will share this one with you, it's by far the best: Noni, in a moment of absolute brilliance, decided that using a whole tub of Kandoo wipes for her butt was an excellent idea. It wasn't. The toilet was stopped up. Joey was getting the wipes out and told me "I am going outside to throw these away, stay away from the bathroom." I took this to mean he wanted my help. I proceeded to arm myself with huge barbecue tongs and my Fry Daddy strainer to perform this bit of plumbing repair. Picture me with the following 2 items rushing down the hall, eyes crossed, off balance, repeating, but I just wanna help and just knowing in a way that only a true f**ked up person can, that I was going to get that toilet fixed honey. Who needs Roto Rooter when they have me? Joey was not amused. I don't remember if I was.