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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

You've been warned, proceed at your own risk.

Last night the hubby and I were lying on the couch watching some T.V. ALONE!! Nicklaus, Noni & Nathan were all in Nicklaus' room, either playing with the hairy fairy Bob or watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I may have mentioned before that when Joey and I got married, he had long hair. I liked it. He got it cut one day...I still liked it. He's kept it short for years. One day I noticed he seemed on this mission to grow his hair long again. And being the perceptive wife that I am, I asked, "What's the deal with the hair? One last hurrah before the receding hairline takes over?" Needless to say, I was right. I told him his hair was getting thinner and he wouldn't believe me, the lady that cuts his hair tells him and it's time to grow our hair to our ass. Anyway, I decided to be a
TOTAL FRIGGIN' WEIRDO loving and concerned wife. This is the conversation we had:

ME: Ya know, it's because you wear a hat all the time that your hairline is receding.

HUBBY: It is not, science has disproved that. It comes from your mother.

(**I know male pattern baldness is inherited from your mother, or so I've heard**)

ME: Since when do you know what science has disproved? Why don't we buy some Rogaine?

HUBBY: That stuff doesn't work.

ME: How do you know? When have you used Rogaine?

HUBBY: I just know.

ME: You know, I was watching television, and some show had a fool proof method. Works in 2 weeks.

HUBBY: Yeah, right, what would that be?

****HEE, HEE, HEE, (not out loud though, I was TOTALLY serious.honey!)

ME: You rub protein on your thinning area and in 2 weeks the hair is all grown back.

HUBBY: Protein?

ME: Yeah, protein. The best kind is semen.

HUBBY: I'll have the combover from hell before I put cum on my head. I ain't putting no damn cum on my head.

ME: No, you don't understand, you just rub a little on your scalp at night and wash it off in the morning.
HUBBY: No, you don't understand. I am not rubbing DICK SNOT on my head or anywhere else on my body.