Another Wonderful Joeyism
Saturday, October 27, 2007
If you remember the tattoo story, this is a little follow up. If you need to refresh your memory, click HERE
. Anyway, I was talking to my friend, Sherri about this and she asked, "So, when ya gonna tattoo my name on you?" I replied, "Why next week, right on my left ass cheek!" Joey heard all of this, we were outside at my parents' house and we went back in and were sitting around talking to my dad and nephew. We related the topic of discussion and my husband added the following, what could only have formulated in my husband's mind, idea:
"I'm going to tattoo a "B" on each cheek, then when I bend over, it'll say "BOB."
His next idea however, was the undoing of my father, he was laughing so hard he had tears coming out of his eyes.
"No, I'll tell you what I want. I want to put an "M" on each one, then when I bend over it will say "MOM" and if I stand on my head, it will say "WOW!!"
Labels: crazy ass husband, Joey, joeyisms
I answered the phone last week, another 800 number. Fully expecting it to be another bill collector and trying to kick myself for actually answering the phone I was pleasantly suprised. Yes, they asked for husband by name and as I was explaining that I was just the babysitter and the head of the household was at work, they began to explain a little about what it was. Well, this was no ordinary you didn't pay your sattelite bill on time collector (which we only had sattelite for 2 months and then couldn't afford it anymore.) Nope, when the lady began to explain what it is she was wanting,( I don't know why she would do that to the babysitter, but no worries) I fugured out this was for a commercial collection agency
. I quickly explained that she had reached the wrong person, right name, wrong person and that was that. Whew!!
Labels: commercial collection agency
THOUGHT I'D FORGET DIDN'T YA??
Or does anyone even order these things?
And....that is sadly, all I could find still available today!! Check back on Fridays though....I am going to be on time or near it anyway, or at least I'll try. Don't miss out on the great Christmas freebies and such that start coming out this time of year....Enjoy!!
Labels: Free samples, Freebie Friday, freebies, friday freebies
FABULOUS FREEBIE FRIDAY...
Friday, October 26, 2007
I know the list is short, I will try my best to post a few more tomorrow!!
Labels: Freebie Friday, friday freebies
I'm Glad I Have Just A Home Computer
I am so glad I don't have to deal with problems with my memory on my computer - yet. A good friend of mine was having to upgrade a slew of her worplace's computers. Chiefly on the list was upgrading about fifty of her office workstations IBM memory
and graphics cards. Fortunately, she found a great site to make her purchases, saved her company a bundle of money AND she got a nice little raise and promotion out of the deal. Pretty sweet, yes? I sure thought so!
Labels: IBM memory
Children Aren't Born To Hate
In fact, in the past weeks I've learned they don't even really see different colors. All they see is nice or mean, good or bad. They see friendship and love. Why did it take me so long to learn that hatred, racism, and stereotypying is learned? Well, I'll tell you. It only took the entrance of one very special little girl in our lives. My second daughter. Noni's twin. AND they call themselves twins and see nothing odd or strange about it. Wanna know something?? Neither do I!!And, according to "the girls" the shoes make them seem like twins even more!!
Labels: Noni and Mi'Kaila, racism, the girls
Where do they come up with their logic???
It's nearing holiday gift giving season and everyone around us knows that with three kidz we aren't able to buy too many for anyone except them. Nicklaus has a wonderful idea though. To save us some money he'd like to get only one thing. That's right, just one gift. What gift has the eldest child asked for. Why, the tiny little thing he wants is Seahawks tickets
. That's right, tickets to an NFL game that is based in Seattle, Washington. Now the ticket we'd most likely be able to purchase, but the travel expenses?? Guess he'll just have to accept the fact he's getting something else!
Labels: NFL, Seattle Seahawks Tickets
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Myspace Happy Birthday Comments & Graphics
It is so hard to believe that it was four years ago today that I gave birth to the Natester. All 6 pounds and 6 ounces of him. He was so tiny.....and...ummm....he's still little but he is a handful and a half. You've read the posts....it's never a dull moment. Some moms would be so glad that their little hellion was growing up, but this is my BABY and I am, to put it mildly, sad. My last baby is already four. What will I do when he goes to school? I'm going to need therapy, I tell ya, well in addition to the therapy I already need!
Labels: Birthday, Nathan
I've chanced on a pretty interesting blog. The name of this blog is All In Anchor
, and it is a phenonmenal internet marketing news blog. If you have a small to medium sized blog related to your business it will greatly enhance your SEO
, ( search engine optimization
.) Trying to maximize your placement can be costly or you can try to write engaging content, content that relates to your search words and be consistent. This blog gives you tons of information for FREE. It is definitely worth the time spent reading it. This site covers advertising, brand management, and even tips on your web sites' shopping cart. You really should take a look at All In Anchor
, it is TOTALLY worth it!
Labels: all in anchor
I Have A New Hobby!!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
If you recall, a while back I posted about Joey buying a dozen roses
(CLICK HERE) - in my favorite color!!! Purple!! I could not stand to get rid of them, so I gave the dried out flowers a spoonful of oil from Bath and Body works....Anyway, I had some white roses this time around. I tried to make potpourri with it, and it turned out all wrong. I mixed some scents that had no reason to be in a restaurant on this or any other planet. I sincerely hope that people will like my fragrance (potpourri) and maybe I can sell a few along the way. I really want to do this!! Lord knows we need the money. Plus, I took a chance that a door would be opened for me if I didn't chicken out....and I didn't !! I called the local florist and asked if she ever had any flowers that were to be tossed out. She replied, " We sure do.The owner also told me she would have plenty of flowers due to a wedding that was held this weekend plus she'll call me before she throws anything out. I feel like I will really enjoy giving these gifts I cannot wait to start with it. And if I get a booth at the flea market one weekend and actually sell something?? That would be the icing on the cake!!
Labels: daddy, family reunion, Nicklaus and Andrew
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To Kill I Go!!!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
The huntin' fool of the forest, (the hubby) myself and the smallest of the Nutz Family, our youngest
Spawn...errrr... cherub, Nathan, stopped at a convience store this morning...this picture was taken in the parking lot, a man had just killed the poor thing. One minute this dead carcass was alive, living like Bambi, bothering no one....one second you're grazing on something and the next you've been shot, thrown on the back of a truck, tongue hangin' out and headed down the highway. To merely show you a picture of this dead deer is not sole reason for this post at all. You've seen one deer, you've seen them all. Maybe different sizes, but they don't vary that much. The reason for this post? To share with you how I came to the realization that my husband is an addict. If it has legs, he'll shoot it. He is addicted to stalking his prey and then shooting it in cold blood. Not a twinge of remorse. That deer re-awakened a newfound (which he has every year on deer season opening day) compulsion within the huzzband. Hmmm.....how do I explain the look on hubby's face? Well, all I can think of is a crack addict who's jonesin for a hit or two, and having to sit there and see someone finish off the pipe, knowing it was his turn. He was supposed to be first. The crack is used only for illustration points. The similarities to this example in real life? Why in the way that hubby started jonesin' bad....not for drugs, but for guns and deer. That's it in a nutshell. He wanted to hit that pipe, errr, he was jonesin- to get up to the huntin' club. He practically skipped to the truck to leave. He IS SUPPOSED to kill a deer this year, he (in his way of reasoning) was supposed to be first one that killed one that you actually saw!! I think he felt a tad bit jealous, but maintained a very cheerful manner. It was a opening gate at the fair If I live to be a hundred I will never figure out what is so enjoyable about getting up at the asscrack of dawn, sitting in a tree trying not to move or speak. Who willingly stays somewhere that if they hafta take the Browns to the Superbowl thy have to poop in the woods? Forgot the toilet paper? They will use leaves and such to wipe their arses. Ummm, yeah...y'all, there is no way I would survive without electricity in those woods and don't get me started on how much it would kill me to not have a phone. But the primary reason I could never go down there for an extended period? NO RUNNING WATER, NO SHOWERD PEOPLE...NO TOILETS TO FLUSH. Nope, I'm not cut out for it at all, never have been, never will be!!! I'll just stay at home with the little members of the Nutz family and slowly go insane, OOPS, I forgot that when the crazy train arrived, I was first in line when they were handing out insanity....Ehhh....no big deal, I got over it....and I got ice cream to boot.
Labels: buck, Bulloch County, dead deer, deer, hunting
Dressed Up In Your Sunday Go To Church Meeting Clothes...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Well the hubster
is officially an usher at church now. Ushers are the ones that pass the offering plates to church goers on Sundays. The ushers are assigned a month and then usually don't have to do it again for a couple of months. Well, since he's become one he has to wear a shirt and tie. Usually he just wears jeans. However, we have plenty of dress pants and such thanks to my niece Lisa and her husband. They gave him slews of stuff that is still really brand new, in fact one pair of pants still had the tags attached. Since he is making this effort to dress up and look nice and knowing how much he absolutely HATES wearing ties, I thought maybe I'd try and find a nice tie pin with matching cufflinks
for our anniversary in November. Maybe that will make him a little less apt to complain all the way to church that he is slowly being asphyxiated
by his shirt and tie.
Labels: church, cufflinks, Joey
Beginning This Friday Night, I Will Be A Single Mother....
Why you ask? Has his bi-polar crazy ass pushed me to my limit again? Ummm....welll....No....it's just that it is now huntin' season and we all know what that means. He'll work Monday-Friday and then take off for the woods as soon as possible. Heck, most nights he'll go into the woods here at the house and stay gone until a little after dark. If I live to be a hundred years old I will never understand sitting in a tree and either freezing or being dinner for mosquitoes all in the name of killing Bambi. I'm sure he doesn't understand half of what I enjoy, so we're even. He loves it so much I couldn't bitch and complain about it. So, there you have it... Woman marry Redneck, Redneck go Huntin', Bring Lots of Meat for Family, Woman cooks it. Woman WILL NOT eat it.
Labels: crazy ass husband, deer, hunting, redneck
Just A Few More Days....
Is usually the mantra I recite when the money has run out mid-week and payday is a few days away. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. It seems that whenever we think we have our head above water, Joey's check isn't as much as he thought and we are drowning again.
If the electric company sends one of those horrible, "We're cutting off your power in 2 days" letters, I don't go digging out the candles. We look for another alternative.
There are cash advance payday loans available. Now, it probably isn't a great idea to keep on and on with them, but if you are faced with the choice of no electricity or paying a bit more to borrow the money, then we have chosen to borrow the money several times. Sure, we paid a little interest...but it didn't look like "Little House on the Prairie" at the Nutz household. No oil burning lamps here!
Labels: Online Cash Advance, Payday Loan
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. ~Saki
We have a family in our church that at all times has at least 2-3 members in prison. I'm talking their children and grandchildren....from one generation to the next. Now, if ONE of mine go to jail or prison, I could truthfully say, "I did the best I could..." However....if ALL of my children did time, I'd have to say, "I screwed up really bad, I am a horrible parent." Anyway, their granddaughter just got out of prison, (where she was able to spend Christmas with her mother as they were both incarcerated at the same institution.) Well, this girl was at church a few Sundays ago and as we were talking I noticed a tattoo. She saw me looking and said, "Oh yeah, that's my best friends name. It's a prison thing."
What I Wanted To Say
"Bullshit, you were her bitch and she branded you so everyone knew it."
Why I Did Not Say It
1) We were at church.
2) If I went to prison for an extended period of time, who knows what my
scared butt would do? Maybe find the biggest bull dyke there to protect me.
3) I am not one to back down from a fight, however, prison teaches people to defend themselves in what I imagine are very painful, very scary ways.
4) What business is it of mine if she's tattooed ass to elbows with women's names?
What I Actually Said
So, how is your new job at the Waffle House going?
Labels: church, lies, prison, sarcasm, tattoo
It's That Time of Year.....Again....
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
The Nutz family has officially entered the buy gifts time of year. Beginning in October we kick it off. First there's Nate-Nate's birthday, then my Dad's is in November. Of course, we ALL know what happens in December and then on to January and Nicklaus' birthday. All the shopping and wrapping frenzy ends with the purchase of February's valentines day gifts!! Joey and I buy for each other sometimes, but mainly it's all about the kids!! This year maybe we can do a little something for one another on one of these holidays!!
Labels: valentines day gifts
I'm A Thief....
Monday, October 15, 2007
I stole this from MAEVE who stole it from LL
..... and my answer did NOT match either one of theirs!!
|You Are a Bit Prissy|
From time to time you can be a princess, but these days, who isn't a little high maintenance?
You know what you want, and you're definitely not afraid to ask for it.
(Just refrain from having a temper tantrum if you don't get your way!)
There's nothing wrong with having high standards... as long as they're occasionally low enough to allow spontaneity and fun!
And just because I am bored, I decided to do a couple of more.....or more than a couple...BWAHAHAHAHA....let me know if you did them too!!
|Your Depression Level: 80%|
You seem to have moderate depression.
Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life.
You would benefit greatly from professional help.
|Your 80s Hunk Is|
|You Are Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|
You take the title "mad scientist" to the extreme -with very scary things coming out of your lab.
And you've invented some pretty cool things, from a banana sharpener to a robot politician.
But while you're busy turning gold into cottage cheese, you need to watch out for poor little Beaker!
"Oh, that's very naughty, Beaker! Now you eat these paper clips this minute."
Labels: Online Quiz Thingies
Saturday, October 13, 2007
This rather nasty looking creature was killed in my yard last week. Yep, that's a rattlesnake. It was about 3-4 feet in length and almost bit Joey as he walked by with Justin and Ben. It's time for them to be slithering around as the weather cools and I used to wanna push the kids outta the door to play....ummm...not so much anymore. They have to beg to be outside. I know that I can't protect them against everything, but I can't take the chance of losing one of my kidz to the venom of that nasty thang either. Yes, it's the country, yes there are snakes and no, I won't let the N's play anywhere except the front yard, by the steps. Sorry I've been AWOL...I'll be back on a regular basis soon I hope. Lots of stuff going on and not enough hours in the day. I honestly try to sit down, I log in to post and then I end up not typing a dang thing. Sorry Y'all....My page rank is even down to a 3, it was a 5 at one time...oh well.....thanks for reading....
Labels: rattlesnake, snake
Imagine Her Pain!!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
I wasn't there to witness the following, but here is my idea of what happened. A girl, let's call her Stephanie Lee, goes to the dumpsters and throws in the bag. When she turns to go back to her car, a glimpse of yellow catches her eye. Stephanie Lee just can't believe it. Who would write such a thing? Defeated, her reputation in tatters, she climbs back into her car. She is so embarrassed, now everyone and his brother will know that "Stephanie Lee Scuks Dike!)
**And you wonder why people think we are "slow witted" here in the South!" This character is definitely a couple of cans short of a six pack."
Labels: dumpsters, graffiti, ignorant people