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Happy Birthday To Me!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Rah, Rah, another birthday. Every year on my birthday, I think about certain things. This is one of them. I'm the type of person that researches things. If I don't know the answer to something, I WILL find it, Internet searches, libraries, newspapers, I'll find an answer or the information I seek. There's one mystery in my life however, that I cannot solve. The mystery is me. I was adopted at birth. I don't want some big boo hoo reunion with some family to complete me. I have a family, I have a great mom, dad, sister, etc....However, just once, I'd love to actually fill out doctor's forms with correct information, instead of N/A. Just once, I'd love to not be stared at and asked, "You mean you have no idea what your background is?" Sure, if I met my birth parents, it would be cool, to see if I looked like them, it's weird when you hear someone tell you, "You look just like (insert name here.)" and immediately your mind wonders, "am I related? " God blessed me with a wonderful mom and dad, they love me, they spoiled me and they are not in any way less my parents because we are not biologically related. Hell, I asked my mom last week, and I was serious, I was a hellion as a teen and even later, but, I asked her if she ever thought, "Dear Lord, if I knew this kid was gonna be all this, I'd have been happy just having Pam (my older sister, not a hellion, lol) and not worried about more." Her answer? "I've never thought of you and Pam as being different from one another, you're both my children, I love you both equally, however, in the past, it may have seemed I loved you more, only because you needed me so much, Pam had her life together, you, well, did not." Understatement of the year!! Look, I've given birth 3 times, Nicklaus being the first and the hardest childbirth, and I can emphatically say, having the baby is the easy part. It's all the raising that comes afterwards that's hard! I just think that every person should be entitled to know their birthright, and if you were adopted in the State of South Carolina, as I was, it ain't gonna happen. I've never felt that I needed to find my "birth" parents to complete me, I'm complete. I abhor the talk show reunions between some person and the woman that gave them up 2 hours after birth. They run to one another, sobbing, calling each other "Mom", "Baby," whatever, I have no desire to do that. I just wanna know....what am I? Am I Greek? Portugeese? Nah...I know I'm not either one of those, but something would be nice. I hate when people ask me who my "REAL" parents are. I admit, I answer in my sarcastic bitch tone, "Why yes, Carlton and Chris, you know them right? They raised me, they took care of me, and they loved me. Doesn't get much more real than that." They usually don't ask me anymore. And one other thing, always gets me on the day of my birth. I just wanna know, does the woman who gave birth to me, remember this day? Is it a day she pauses for a moment and wonders about me? Or is it just another day, nothing special, she doesn't even remember the date she gave birth?"

Imagine finding out at 10 years old your mom and dad weren't really your parents.

~Imagine wondering all your life where you came from, who you are, and what nationalities you might be...

~Imagine growing up not being able to complete a medical form at your Doctor's office, instead having to write N/A.

~Imagine in school, not being able to honestly do a family tree report.~

Imagine your friends asking you why you were given away?~Imagine feeling like your birth certificate is a lie

~Imagine searching through crowds wondering if you are related to one of those faces.~


Enough of the sentimental bullshit....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!