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They could have at least bought me a drink...Or grabbed the Vaseline...

Monday, December 05, 2005

If they were planning on screwing me this bad!!! I met a couple that owned a seafood restaurant right down the street from our house about a year ago. Great food, very nice couple. A few months ago they moved the restaurant to a golf course clubhouse about 25 minutes away. I see the female owner sometimes, we'd always chat, had each other's numbers, never really called one another though. Well, I had the brilliant idea a week or so ago to give them a call, see if they needed any help a couple of days a week, Friday, Saturday, ya know? They did. Keep in mind, I've NEVER said I am a waitress, ( on another note, I never said, "I must procreate, but here I am. OY VEY!!) Anyway, I was scheduled to work on Friday and Saturday from 4:00 pm until 10:00 pm. Most likely we'd leave around 11:00 pm or so. I told the female part of the ownership team, when she told me I was bartender, "Alrighty then....you will train me, right?" "Of course, it's simple. The only complicated drink we make differently is a margarita." Well, the first night I go is the Friday after Thanksgiving, we basically are dead all night. I stand behind the bar with the female owner, the male part of this team is the chef and he stays in back with the toothless "only in her late 30's" dishwasher, the toothless wonder's daughter is 18 years old with a 6 month old baby, she got married when she was 16, separated at 16 1/2, they must get together occasionally though, ya think? This chick has an attitude like a scalded cat. I asked on the next night if she was 18 yet. The owner says, "Yes, why?" My reply? "Because I don't want to go to jail when I knock the shit out of her smart mouth and always looking pissy face." Anyway...I made like 35 bucks for both nights only $35. No biggie, holiday weekend, okay. I go into work the next Friday, arrive at 3:30 pm. There is a party scheduled for 42 people in the "banquet" room. Now the wonderfully bright owner, chef-owner, toothless woman and teenager asking for an ass beating decide, "Hey...she's here now she can do it all!!" Yep, left inexperienced as hell ME in charge of a Methodist Church's Party. And by in charge I mean, I had to set out the chafing dishes, (nope, really didn't know what the hell they were until now), I looked these up on Amazon, they weigh 20 pounds without the food. With the 50 tons of potatoes Au Gratin they weighed about a ton, or felt like it. Not being on to complain, (yeah, right, but I swear to God I DID NOT this time, ) I set all of them up. One for 45 baked potatoes, the potatoes au gratin, the green bean almondine, the fried shrimp and finally the 45 steaks. I got all the tea, all the coffee, all the plates, glasses, ice, tea urns, coffee pots, tablecloths, you name it, I did it. NOT ONE PERSON THAT WORKED THERE CARRIED A DAMN THING. The chef did ding the hell out of some bell letting my know another 2 ton portion of food was ready to be carried out. Furthermore, if I asked where anything was they acted like I should "just" know this and it pissed them the hell off I dared to ask. I ONLY KNEW WHERE DRINK GLASSES, BEER, LIQUOR AND ICE WAS!! Which isn't so bad really, but the Methodists weren't letting their hair down this time. Now, let me just get an opinion on this, would you trust a person to carry a party alone that has NO EXPERIENCE?? I wouldn't. But guess what?? I kicked ass babeeeee.

About 20 of the guests kept asking me, "Honey, where's your help??" I just smiled and said, "I guess you're looking at it, may I bring you anything else?" All the while the voices in my head were saying, "Kel, it's 17.95 a person, there are 42 people here. That equals a total bill of $ 753.90, 20% gratuity is added in, so keep going girl, you're gonna bring home $ 150 bux for the kidz Christmas!! Woohoo, would you like cream and sugar?" Well, the camera the group had for pictures died or something, and me, being my ever giving self, and courting a little extra added gratuity, perhaps, let them have my digital one, I never leave home without it, ya know? I then emailed their photos later that evening. MUCH LATER.
I specifically heard several people say they were going to leave a "little something extra" and saw them hand money to the lady in charge of the party from their church. I swear it looked to be at the least another 50 or so bux. Well, as all things must the party ended around 9:30 pm.
Now, I had to bus all the tables, wash all the glasses, remove the tablecloths, wash the platters and bowls, vacuum, etc, etc. Still, my mantra was "Okay, you are leaving here with at least 150 bux that you know about, money's tight, keep going, you can do it."

Okay, here's the screwing part...ya ready? Around midnite all was done in the party room, the various abovementioned cretins, owners and employees alike, had already enjoyed a leisurely dinner at the bar and smoking cigarettes out on the deck...ahh, the posh life is great. When I went to leave, the female owner was adding up something on the calculator. I saw the total of the meals, and then a figure of 190.98. I was doing cartwheels in my head. Maybe not much to you all, but enough to almost get my kidz Christmas off Lay-A-Way at "The Place we Do Not Speak Of." She muttered something about how hard the COOK AND DISHWASHER WORKED AND SAID THEY DESERVED SOMETHING. Guess how much I walked out of there with, I DID NOT KNOW IT UNTIL HALFWAY HOME AND I WAS TOO TIRED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT THEN. I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME. I got home around 12:45. I got a whopping total of $ 47.00. They said I had another party of 55 coming in on Saturday night that I would be in "charge" of also. The party started at 6:30pm. Where was I? At 6:30 pm - I was sitting in a movie theater, watching Chicken Little with my 3 kidz munching on popcorn while my husband sat in the woods trying to kill Bambi, then I went to eat at an equally good seafood restaurant. Did I call them to let them know I couldn't be in "charge" of this party? Hell no, call me what you will. Hmmmm...wonder how the toothless wonder and her "mad at the world, I need my ass kicked" teenage mom daughter handled the party?? Next question....ASK ME IF I CARE!!!