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There are only two races on this planet-the intelligent and the stupid.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Damn....another reason for hubby to hate Wal-Mart, like he needed it!! This weekend when hubby walked outside he noticed 2 tires on his truck were flat. Well, that put him into a happy, ho, ho,ho kind of mood - NOT! To further add insult to injury, the only place open was, yep, the place we do not speak of. That building houses the largest number of dumbasses assembled in one place at the same time. And, when the first large group of clueless individuals take leave, there's a fresh crew, just as ignorant to take their place. Anyway, Joey took the flat tires off the truck and we had a whole set of almost new tires for the Jeep we used to have. The tires were the same size, the rims were not. So, he loaded them up in my car and set off for "The Land of the Ignorant, " where the motto is : Not only are our prices getting lower by the minute, so are our IQ's." All that needed to be done was to take the flat tires off of the truck rims, take the good tires off the Jeep's rims, and then put the good ones on the truck. Not to complicated for most people. I will now let the scenario play out, as told to me by an extremely aggravated man, who kept repeating, "I HATE WAL-MART, ummm....the place we do not speak of, over and over and over again.

A customer, let's just call him Joey, arrives at Wal-Mart, already aggravated
because his tires were flat, and goes to the Tire and Lube counter. He is greeted by a employee
that has "trainee" on her name tag. He doesn't mind, he knows she's new, he's not a total ogre. When he explains what he wants, the trainee apologizes, and says she will have to call someone to help her. No problem, he's fine with that. The "experienced" employee arrives. And arrive she does, she was obviously experiencing an acute case of racial identity crisis. Her head was covered with blonde cornrows and she talked like she just left Compton. However, I'd be willing to bet if you put old Snow Girl in the real "hood" she'd last all of 10 minutes. I do not understand why most girls that are attracted to men of color somehow develop the fakest way of talking and acting. I have plenty of friends that aren't white, and NONE of them talk like majority of the white girls trying their best to act, sound and dress "black." It's ridiculous, but that's another rant for another day. Here's what happened next.

White chick acting like Sha-nae-nae from Martin (referred to as SWB-Sha-nae-nae Wanna Be in the rest of this post) : "What choo need?"

Huzzband: "I need two flat tires taken off two rims and 2 good tires that I have taken off of two rims and put on those tires need to go on the rims the flat ones were on."

SWB-" Dang, what choo talking bout? How's we supposed to know which tires are which? How we "posed to know?" (Head begins to bob and weave now.) Trainee looks very perplexed.

Huzzband: "How are you suppose to know what? What are you talking about?"
SWB- "Dem tires dawg, how we know which is which? Which one we put on or take off or whatever you trying to say?" Head bobbing to and fro now, braids swinging, tone getting more and more "street" if that's possible.

Huzzband: (silent, perhaps stunned for several seconds, then in a truly puzzled and annoyed voice, also very condescending, like he's talking to one of the kidz, " Well, let's think about that, shall we? Two tires are flat, two tires are not. Shouldn't be real difficult."

SWB- really exasperated now, head jerking as if she's having a seizure. "Shoot, you ain't gotta act like I'm all stupid or somefin, dang, (trainee girl about to lose it trying to hold in her laughter, hubby looking at SWB like she's some kind of alien,) I know what I be doing, I just needed to make sure. How you gonna act like that?"

Huzzband: "How long is this gonna take?" (desperate to get away from SWB, really quite aggravated by now.)

SWB: "What choo want us to do with the flat tires, huh?"

Huzzband: "I don't care what you do with them.

SWB: "Well, they gonna be a fee of $ xx to dispose of them. ( It was under a dollar.) You want us to dispose of dem? What choo want me to do with the tires? ( bob and weave, bob and weave, injury to her neck a very real possibility)

Huzzband: (Has had all he can stand) "Look, I don't care what you do with them, take them home, burn them, shove them up your ass, I don't care."

Huzzband leaves, Trainee girl can't stop laughing, and SWB is saying something but you can't hear it, he knows she's talking, her head is wobbling.

I'll never get him in Wal Mart again, and if I do....OMG, all I will hear, ( remember Rainman saying, "I'm an excellent driver a million times?" Well, Rainman Jr., my hubby, will repeat, "I hate Wal-Mart, it's full of stupid people" every step of the way!! He's convinced there is a box to check on the application form that says, "Are you a dumbass?" If you check yes, you're hired!