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My Why I Should Be Drunk Post, Continued!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


It's my favorite time of year. Nope, not referring to the Christmas season. Actually, I am talking about getting Nicklaus re-evaluated for ADD. Wanna know what makes it such a glorious time? Well, you know I'm gonna tell you whether you want to know or not. The reason why I love it is simple, I CANNOT GIVE HIM HIS MEDICINE. So, for 35 wonderful minutes, I get to be trapped with him in a car - one way. Sometimes he gets hung up on a word or something. Today the word of the day was withheld. So, for 30 of the 35 minutes I heard this:

Nicklaus: "Mom, what does withheld mean?"

Me: Well, it's when you don't give somebody something. Like
daddy's paycheck has tax withheld. It could be information, like someone has information on something, yet they withhold it, they won't tell you."

Nicklaus: "Like name and address withheld. I am withholding your
money. I am gonna withhold your right to talk. I withhold my name and address. She withholds her name and address. He withholds his name and address. I am withholding that."

After the thousandth time, I asked:

Me: Nick, it could also be used as, I will withhold your oxygen if you don't shut up and you'll never live to be 10.

Nicklaus: "Mom, you wouldn't hurt me."

Mom: "How do you know, I may have been withholding my evil side!!"


Friday wasn't that eventful, believe it or not. Joey got home early...and to continue the true hillbilly tradition, he and the eldest son went hunting. And what were they hunting for? If you guessed deer, you are soooo wrong. Nope, Jethro and Junior went huntin' them up some squirrels. Seems Jethro Senior is quite fond of tree rats. Jethro Junior says he isn't going to eat them. Either way, no tree rats were murdered that day. Jethro Senior is reallll proud of Junior though. Seems he's mighty handy with his 410. Yee haw honey.


Saturday, believe it or not, Joey kept the boys and Noni, myself and Aunt Lisa went off for the day. Aunt Lisa is really my niece, but she's so much older than my kidz, that I started them off calling her Aunt Lisa. Noni loves her Aunt Lisa, I constantly tell Lisa that I gave birth to her child, they act a lot alike. Which isn't a bad thing, Lisa never fails at anything. She's smart as a whip, great with money and has a wonderful career. Her and her husband travel a lot to the most interesting places. Yep, I'm jealous as hell...lol. Anyway....First Noni and Lisa went to get their hair cut and then we went to the mall. Noni saw Bearamy (the bear from Build a Bear?) and Rudolph. We sat down and let her play in the play area. We were sitting there watching all the little wild banshee children running around, when it was time to go and we could stand no more, Lisa and I in unison, both said, "Noni, c'mon it's time to go." Lisa and I were sitting really close together on the bench and for some reason, Lisa looks over at me and asks, "You don't think people think we're gay, do you?" Well, me being the extreme, fanatical homophobe (a person who hates or fears homosexual people) that I am, looked at Noni and said, "Noni, c'mon honey, mommy and momma are ready to go." Lisa almost died, what do I care? Hide your girlfriends honey...Momz gone gay. LOL.....When I got home, my darling hubby was cleaning out the VCR. Yep, that's a hanger, a couple of cars, a crayon and you know, just other assorted oddz and endz that Nathan decided to shove in the VCR. We got home around 3:00 or so. I then had to get all the hellions ready, and hubby motivated to attend our church Christmas Banquet. And there were about 65 people there. The hell of it is this....if you read my waitressing fiasco story, then you know I got screwed royally. This was the same set-up I had and their were 4 waitresses and when it came time to clean up, there were busboys!! I would have gladly shared a percentage if any of those idiots had helped me. Oh well, enough of that, I do want to share on last thing on the "I got bent over and screwed" post though. The screwing I got left a mark....yep....sure did...lol...If you can make that out, it's a burn on my hand that I got that night from hell, I guess I touched a hot screw or something when I was running around like a drunk chicken toting hot chafing dishes and such. Thank God it's faded now. I need no reminders! We left kinda early because Noni was burning up with a fever, great, sick kidz again. Hell, whatever would I do with my time without one or two, or three. LOL...When we were leaving the banquet, my hubby tells me to "grab your camera, get ready to take a picture, you're gonna love this." So, I took a picture of this, outside the restaurant, if you can't read it, it says, Redneck Woman and underneath is has "Hell Yeah." Damn, I want one too...I am a redneck, however, I do believe I will stick with a magnet sticker thingy. That looks cool on a SUV, I don't think it would be so hot on a Dodge Stratus. So, when we arrived home, I dosed up the kidz, sent them to bed. Had a margarita, hubby had Absolut and Mountain Dew. Then he went to bed and I used my Bissel Steam vac(had to get red Kool-Ade, dirt, mud, wax, bananas and of course poop spots up, ya know?) and cleaned my carpet! Ain't it purty...and ain't you glad you read this longer than hell post? Sorry I'm so behind on posting. I'll get back into the swing of things soon. We've all been sick, broke, and tired at the NUTZ house!! Darn, this is just my last week post, wait until I tell you about this week....GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR