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As Livey Would Say.....Fer Shit's Sake!!

Monday, February 26, 2007

I believe that I have established sufficiently my youngest child's fondness for all things poop. Need a refresher course on that one? Click HERE, HERE, or even HERE. There's plenty more posts like these...anyway. We were at the hotel Saturday night and the kidz wanted to go swimming in the indoor pool. (**note to self, when staying at a hotel that advertises an indoor pool, such as ours did, please make sure it's HEATED, this one was not and was cold as ice) anyway. We get to the pool, I've made sure Nathan, who is doing the potty training thing has pee-peed, pooped and the like before going. I put on his adorable little pair of swim trunks and off we go. The following is the conversation that occurred about 5 minutes after arriving.

Momz: Nathan, you don't want to get in the pool??

Nathan: No, Mommy, No....(He's standing way back almost in a corner beside the emergency float ring thingy (yes, that is the technical term) on top of the rope that is hanging down.

Dad: (through clenched teeth, trying to be quiet) Kellieeeeeeeeeeee, Kellieeee....

Momz: What, what the heck is the matter?????

Dad: Nathan has shit everywhere and is just standing in it.

I jump up, run over, grab the boy who loves poop and then see the HUGE glob of shit and what I call shitspattle, everywhere....on the floor, on the rope, on his legs, everywhere. I immediately spring into shit control mode. I grab one of the hotel provided towels, get the glob and shitspattle up. Run to the towel receptacle, put this special treat of bath linen extraordinaire in the very, very bottom, wrap another towel around the crap stained boy and run off to the room. Throw the boy in the shower, put the shorts, to be thrown away, into a plastic bag. I seal that sucker up, the smell is overpowering. After cleansing and deodorizing the boy, I affix a pull-up to his butt and walk back down to the pool. I did mention we were the only ones in that area...didn't I? Hubby and kidz are still swimming and a man has joined them. He didn't stay long...

Momz: Okay, he's cleaned and bagged....no chance of poop escaping now. Did anyone notice?

Dad: Well, one of the people that works here came in, dropped some towels off, and got the dirty ones. If he didn't smell that, his nose is broken. I splashed some water on that rope, didn't help much. Still stinks like shit in here.

Momz: Yeah, it does. Nathan...ready to go watch some cartoons?

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