These might piss you off, you'll get over it....
Friday, August 05, 2005
Somalidu arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country!"
But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican".
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says "I no American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful America!"
That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Middle East,
I am not an American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Russia !"
So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says . . .
"Probably at work."
***************************************************************************************
Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the
bush, you have AIDS."Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
The doctor says "I want you togo home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage,
1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce,
10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnutsand 40 peanuts,
1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a
glass of prune juice."Bob asks,
"Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a
better understanding ofwhat your ass is for."
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