Why we'll never win Parents of the Year...
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
I did not include this huge picture of my Princess for you to marvel at her Skee-Ball skills, although she is awesome as hell...scored 18,000-she's 3. Nope, I wanted to point out the 2 young guys in the background, the one my child is staring at....see them? These kids were on the track or whatever you call it putting the balls in, the hyper little shittz weren't smart enough apparently to pick high scores either. Where were the parents? Well they were standing at the end of the game conversing with friends, the dad was anyway. Seeing how these kids were being allowed to act just made me positive that I don't give a damn about the "correct" way to raise kids according to experts. See, the hubby and I don't treat our kids like they are miniature adults, they're not, they are kids. We do things a little different I guess than most, we actually expect our children to behave, be polite and not act like brainless, screaming banshees in public. I am so sick and damn tired of the way some people are letting their children behave in public. Now, I know you probably think, "why the hell does it bother you so much, they aren't bothering you." WRONG, the little urchins bother everyone. Noni went to put her quarter in, the balls came down and I'll be damn if one of those boys wasn't over there grabbing the ball from the game. I told him he needed to go back to his parents, this was not his game, and his DAD was standing not more than 4 feet away, saw his kid and did nothing. I had to repeat it a second time and finally the kid left. Next game? The other one came over. Nicklaus and Noni played a third and I was really proud of my Nick-Nick, as usual one of them came over to grab a ball and Nicklaus says, at the top of his voice, "those are my sister's, they are not yours, our dad paid for ours...go talk to yours." TeeHee!!! Anyway, the following are a few basics that most parents need to pay attention to, when your children are grown, and have a great job with responsibility instead of lying on your couch, smoking joints in the garage and trying to find a job they are qualified for that doesn't entail saying "would you like fries with that", you'll be glad you did. The people your children come in contact with will sure appreciate the hell out of it as well.
1) Do not negotiate with a child. They are not mature enough to fully understand the negotiation process. They are children, not little adults, and you are the one that has the authority. If you try this reasoning process with your kid, you just look like an idiot that has no control to your kid and anyone else around.
2) Excusing every behavior that your child exhibits because they have ADD/ADHD is bullshit. My son has ADD, he doesn't go running around public places barking like a dog or asking people for money. He has medication, he also knows that some actions are not appropriate, and if he wants to act like an overcrazed dumbass then he'll be treated like one and dumbasses don't have many privileges in this world, do they?
3) It's okay to discipline, you are NOT your child's best friend, in fact if this is what you are trying to be, you'll be your kids only friend. No one else will want to be around the obnoxious little shits.
4) If your child is in the habit of calling other people names or asking stupid personal questions, such as "Wow, how did you get so fat," "look Mommy, that woman is huge." Don't duck your head in embarrassment, you have no reason to be embarrassed, take the brat by the ear if necessary and offer a sincere apology if the huge, bald, skinny, black, white, whatever personal trait that garnered the comment in the first place overheard your loudmouth offspring.
5) Make your child realize that this earth does not revolve around them. Sure, you're proud of all they do, but let's keep it real. I know someone that actually bought a TV/DVD combo for her kid when he finished potty training. WTF?? A sticker chart and a trip to McDonald's is reward enough. Unless the kids is already so obnoxious that this would be beneath him, in that case, start at #1.
6) Ever wonder why your kids don't appreciate half of what you give them? Because you've given them the whole damn world by the time they are 4, why would they be impressed?
7) It's okay to discipline, and yes I will say it, the dreaded "S" word. You can spank your kid. You will not break their spirit, you may hurt their pride and ass a bit, that is the point.....it serves as a reminder. Don't use boards or lock them in closets, but discipline is okay.
8) This applies to only the South, I suppose. But saying Yes ma'am and No ma'am or Yes Sir/No Sir is not showing you are subservient. It's showing that you respect those who've been on this earth longer than you the respect majority of these older adults have earned. Why did they earn it? What made them worthy of respect? Their parents saw fit to take away privileges or whoop their butts if they didn't act appropriately.
9) This will be my last one, it's quite simple really, It's okay to say no. You do not have to give in to any whim your child expresses just to make them happy or keep them from making a scene. Nicklaus and Noni have at separate times wanted to throw temper tantrums in a public place, they did it ONCE. Why? Because we did not give in, I asked people to walk around the screaming child, apologized for the inconvenience and assured them it would be over soon. And just as soon as they saw their histrionics had no effect on me or my husband, they quit. We then went to the public restroom and had a nice little "talk" with them. No toys or treats were bought that day.
I want to make it clear I am not talking about children that have illnesses or conditions like Autism, Down's Syndrome, etc. I have friends that have children affected by one or more conditions. These children are not consciously being ill-mannered, loud, disrespectful whatever. But, I do know this, majority of the parents of these kids are well aware that society does not look upon them with favor in most cases. So, what do these parents do? They actually learn behavior modification practices and also have certain things that they will not feed their kids because it may cause outbursts. Why? Because they love their children and want them to be able to function in society as close to equal as possible. Unfortunately I think a lot of these parents may not realize that their kids are the normal ones and all these disrespectful, screaming banshee children are the ones that are developmentally challenged. The difference? The parents of the "normal" children need to start giving a damn about their kids, because if you are not teaching your children how to act in society, they will never be a part of it. Let's just think about this, shall we? When your son or daughters future college professor, boss, whatever hands them an assignment, don't you want them to be ready to do it? Or would you prefer them fall down and start pitching a fit? I guarantee that no professor, boss, person in authority is going to say, "Okay honey, if you don't want to do it, it's fine, just stop crying, I'll do it for you." Hell no, they are gonna be kicked out of whatever so fast their head will spin. And then you know what happens? They are kicked back on your sofa, eating your food, stealing your booze and cigarettes and trying to figure out just how many damn packs of ketchup to give with a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
This concludes my rant of the day!
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