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A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood....Part 2

Sunday, July 15, 2007

I told you I would be back in just a second to finish this...hmmm...where was I? Oh yes, I was driving blissfully unaware to McDonald's. Well, while I was driving, I saw something in the road. I was unable to identify it, however, noted it's existence, by saying, "Whew, I am glad we didn't hit that!" To which Nicklaus asked what it was. My reply, "I have no idea, but it looked like something that didn't need to be hit." I drove on.....shortly after passing a local police officer, I heard a very disturbing sound. It sounded like my tire was falling off! I pulled over in some rather tall grass, examined the tire, in all of my car aptitude, decided I needed air and was proceeding to pull off. The police officer I mentioned before, was pulling in right behind me. Now, I had a dilemma, should Medicated Mommy, disembark and show off her quite fashionable attire, or stay burrowed in my seat, glancing furtively at him like a maniacal crack addict? If you've read me at all, you know, I threw caution to the wind, climbed out of the ol' mini van and said, "I heard my tire making an awful noise," ( damn, I sound like Eddie Haskell, or one of those damn Brady children) "and I pulled over. I think my tire is low on air and am going to the station now to put some in." The police officer walked over, pushed on the tire and said, "Ma'am, you can put all the air you want to in that, it's flatter than a pancake. Do you have a spare?" After replying I had no idea, then suddenly saying, as if in answer to the Final Jeopardy question, "YES, YES, I do have a spare. It's one of those, umm....danish, cookie, heck, what is it called?" "A donut, ma'am?" Yes, that's it!!! He proceeded to tell me to pull over to a driveway so he could change the tire. I did as told. The whole time thinking, I am sweating like a speed freak, that damn medicine is of the devil....Anyway, we pulled over, he got out, I got the tire out, all the while Nicklaus, the unmedicated King of ADD, babbling along. At one point, he asked the officer, "Do you have Internet? I mean, at home? If you do, you can read her blog. It's called My Mom is Nutz..." I blithely spoke over him, hoping that my attire along with my obviously, "don't get out much" children would not brandish me a loon. Although, I may have been labled one by medical professionals, one must try to keep up appearances, ya know. Even when dressed like someone who has no idea what is 'okay" to wear in public. I silently thanked God above I did not have on my "golden bedroom slippers that look like Liberace or a drag queen gave them to me." I almost had. Anyway, long story short, no jack, officer called garage, garage came and changed tire for free, farmer man and wife filled up all the other tires with air, kidz had burgers, I had Japanese, with some sushi thrown in for all my trouble. I returned home, arms sore from crossing them over my 365DD boobage so as not to have them fall to my knees in front of everyone and God. I've nursed 3 children okay??? Now, I have to make a run to the local grocery store. Husband is too tired and sore to do it, my medication dosage doubles tonight, so, I have to pack up some supplies, Lord knows what tomorrow will bring. I must go find my bra and something suitable to wear......I'll be sure to tell you what tragedy befalls me this time. I will be setting out with Noni this time. It's her turn. My kidz view traveling with me much like some view a roller coaster ride. It's fun, It's scary, just scream and hold on!!

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