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Sunday Night...

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Court order broken...
let kids call their daddy....
I am thinking this whole thing is way to harsh....
Why can't they call their daddy?
My parents keep telling me, "I know you want to go back, after all the trouble we've gone through!"
And part of me does....but I know he'd never let me back anyway, so I am going to stay on course.....try to make it.....
and find out tomorrow how to drop this order and at least amend it so they can call him...
after all I've shared, all I've written I know I may look like the biggest idiot on the planet....but I miss him.....I don't know if it's just I don't know what to do with my life without waiting for him to scream or be nice, to not have to go hand feed him his medications, I just don't know....someone wrote me an email and said somehow I helped her make a decision similar to mine, then wondered how she could miss someone so horrible to her....and I had no wonderful words of advice, because I am in the same boat....but I think if she wants it, her marriage will keep right on going on....maybe still hell, but a marriage, hell I couldn't get my way back into my house now with a crowbar and a case of dynamite.....

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