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Bipolar Sux

Thursday, April 12, 2007

As you all know, those that read my blog anyway, my hubster is bipolar. It's a tough row to how sometimes, in fact, it gets too tough and I leave with the kidz for a few days. Or, just recently, I was leaving for good...but, meh...I'm back, his meds are working, for now and all is well. But, what if it were my child? That would be unbelievingly difficult. You can't leave your child, you have to stay and battle it with him/her. That would be so very difficult. The reason I am on this topic is, I have a friends who has a 12 year old daughter that is bipolar. The meds work for a little bit and then of course, it's time to adjust again. Her daughter went to school the other day, and she and her teacher were the only ones in the room and the little girl told her teacher that she wanted to die. Later at the doctor she told him if she knew it wouldn't hurt, she'd have killed herself already. She was tired of being the way she is. Damn, she's 12 years old. That would break this momma's heart, as I am sure it does my friend's. The hubby told me once that if he knew it would not leave us in a financial bind he would commit suicide. But, he couldn't do it and leave his family struggling like his family did growing up because he was a sorry ass. I think that people who consider suicide that have bipolar just get in this place, they just want to end it all, but some don't want to hurt the people in their lives, they just don't get the whole concept....we wouldn't miss the hubby's MONEY...we would miss HIM. It doesn't click that my kidz growing up without a father would do far more damage than losing a paycheck. He'd never do it, he's scared of leaving us poor....I wish I could make him see the poor part is the least of it all....whatever works in his mind though, I guess... Bipolar just sux....