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Not a funny HAHA post...but one I want need to write

Thursday, September 01, 2005

If you read my blog regularly then you've read the very amusing back and forth thingy about the Dora bookbag that the Queen of the Shit Bugs and I had. THAT IS THE LAST TIME I MENTION IT...IT'S STUPID, I'M SOOOO OVER IT..Anyway, amongst the many comments hurled back and forth were a couple that bothered me. The one about me thinking that people who are gay are better off dead - so not true. But, petty people say petty things. Anyway, the one that has stuck in my head the most, you ever had that happen, you are doing whatever, cleaning, riding, watching television and you hear something that bothered you over and over? Well, I do, perhaps that is why I am NUTZ! But, my mental health has never really been an issue has it? I'm not in therapy, I probably need to be, I don't take medicine for any type mental condition, and I probably should. LOL...Anyway, I consider myself a pretty "normal" person, as far as one can judge what normalcy is. Okay, here's goes my post. Father forgive me it's been a long time since my last confession...OOPS..WAIT...I'm not Catholic, and y'all aren't priests. So, I'll just do it in my normal way, or abnormal, however you'd like to view it. The comment that some asswipe left over at the OTHER site said this, " You do seem to subscribe to the rapist's credo of they were asking for it." (You'd never guess someone who calls himself Big Daddy Love would ever write something like that, huh?) So, could ya spare me a few minutes and let me tell you a little tale? Thanks:

Once upon a time, damn ain't that cheesy? Anyway, there was
a girl, she was 19. Most females are a woman at 19 but
this girl still held onto childish things, like a general trust
in people, a naive attitude that basically no one she
ever came into contact with would hurt her. She also wasn't really
concerned with settling down or getting serious yet. She was going to college,
she was partying. She was basically just living life and having a great time.
One afternoon, she went over to a friends house. The friend was a little older,
unmarried and with her own place. There were quite a few people there,
and the foolish girl began to party and have fun. After a while the foolish girl's
friend asked if she would like to stay over and go to the beach in the morning.
Of course the foolish girl said yes. Alas, the foolish girl had no clothes with her
for an overnight stay. So, one of the guys at the party offered to give her
a ride to her home and let her pick up her things. Foolish girl wasn't foolish enough to drive shitfaced tipsy. The foolish girl asked her
friend, "Hey, is this guy okay?" To which the friend replied, "yeah, sure, I've seen him around the area for months." ( great recommendation) So, off the foolish girl went. She never returned to her friend's house.

Enough of the fairy tale shit. As Paul Harvey says, and now for the rest of the story: Yep, I am the foolish girl. I climbed into the truck with a guy that my friend had "seen around" hey, at the time it worked for me. On the way to my home, he stopped at a store, bought some beer, then started driving toward my home. Yep, both of us were drinking, I was in a more drunkenken state though. In our drive we were passing a hunting club. To those of y'all who don't know what that is, let me explain. A whole bunch of land with a flimsy gate in the driveway to keep non-members out. People go there and shoot deer mostly. Anyway, this particular club had a gate that was just pulled shut, not locked. And the guy says, "Hey, I gotta take a whiz, I'm gonna turn in here." Hey, I grew up in the South, most guys pull over and take a leak, it was nothing new. Well, he got out, pissed and them came over to my side of the truck. Following his opening the door, this is what happened:

  1. Pulled me out by my hair, punched me in the face.
  2. Threw me on the ground, bit me and punched me a few more times.
  3. Tore my shirt, ripped my shorts
  4. Raped me
  5. As he was finishing told me I was a stupid bitch and I shouldn't have ridden with a stranger.
  6. Also informed me, "I did not cum in you, so there's no evidence you stupid cunt"
  7. Stood up, spit on me, kicked me in my ribs a few times for good measure, kicked me in the face
  8. Left, laughing as he drove off.

I really have no recollection of how long I lay there. I do know at some point I pulled myself up, made it to the main road and just by the Grace of God there was a County Policemen riding by. (just as an aside, this caused quite a bit of controversy, seems I was right on the line of 2 counties, no one knew who's jurisdiction I was in.) Anyway, the policemen pulled over, called EMT, took a statement, called my mom and then followed the ambulance to the hospital. I had 4 cracked ribs, 2 chipped teeth, a multitude of bruises, scratches, and cuts. I needed 12 stiches in some cut on my side that I had no idea I had. Oh yeah, and when he pulled me out of the truck he fractured my ankle and wrist. Anyway, I got the standard exam, no semen present, blah, blah, blah. I told the policemen my story. They went and got the guy. He had semen all over the front of his shorts still. He told the cops, "What, I was jacking off, is that a crime?" He was arrested and stayed in jail until the trial. I should note that my sister talked me into going to court and to this day regrets it, so do I. I made the paper, but of course, thank God, my name wasn't in there, as a rape victim they kept it out. I went to trial, and I say that in the correct manner. I WENT TO TRIAL. See, I was drinking, I got into a car with a stranger, I drank with him, and then they twisted it all around and reasoned that I wanted it. Did ya see my list of injuries? Damn, I am one rough sexual bitch, eh? He got 6 months for simple battery, he was on probation already so he had 3 months for revocation and 3 months for what he did to me. I still can't figure out why it was so important for the his attorney to know if I had a boyfriend and how sexually active I was. So, there's my sad little tale. Here's the effect this one bit of time, a few hours really, had on my life:

I'm not so trusting anymore. I can and do say that NO rape is asked for, however, some can be prevented. An ounce of common sense on my part and this wouldn't have happened. Some women DO lie about rape to make a point, and my take on this is they are vile bitches, if you've been through a real one, you won't ever use that against anyone. Did I take this experience and become a bitter, morose character? HELL NO!!! Haven't you read my blog? The only thing that asshole took from me was a bit of trust in the goodness of all, and I really needed that to be gone, some chunks of skin, he got some hoochie coochie in a forceful, dangerous and perverted manner. It's over. I did not lose my life, my sense of humor, my love of life, my ability to love or my peace of mind. I do not constantly look behind me or live in fear. Rape isn't about sex, it's about control. He controlled a few months of my life, the rape and the trial and such. And after it was over? I relegated him to the back of my mind, lived my life and loved those in it. If I would have become a scared person, fearful of everything, then HE would have won. And there is no way in hell that I would have let that happen. The latest news I have of him?? ....He went to jail about 2 years later for domestic violence, spent a month or two, when he got out he raped some other girl. Her brother shot him sometime later...Sorry, I love it...the raping bastard died. What comes around, goes around. I hope he is burning in hell. But if he's not, I don't care. He has NO place in my life, NO place in my memories. He was an inconsequential part, and it's over. Thanks for listening reading! Now, back to our regularly scheduled humorous blog.