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Drastic Times, Drastic Measures

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Remember way back in June when I bitched about my dryer going out and me having to hang clothes out on a clothesline? If you don't or need to refresh your memory, click here. Well, we were going on over 2 months without a dryer, hubby had a friend at work that had one, almost new, and he got a new washer/dryer set for whatever reason and told the hubster, "If you come pick the dryer up, it's yours." Gratis, free, and all that. So, of course, being the financially conscious (read thrifty, hell read cheap) that I am, I was ecstatic. However, by the end of August, I had traipsed my ass out to that damn clothesline in this humid Georgia weather, with snakes (yep, saw a rattlesnake out there, and an armadillo, and a gazillion millipedes, and spiders, that post coming soon!), not to mention the hellacious amount of rain we had, and my patience was gone. This mamacita was heading to Best Buy or Gotta Buy or Damn well Better Buy this weekend if no dryer was at my house. Now, my husband does work, long hours some days, but, in this length of time, June - August, weekends and all, I could have had 18 dryers picked up by him and brought home. BUT....he's put it off, and put it off and put it off. And yep, sometimes the husband is a moody S.O.B., who's not? And, I have a fine way of just pissing him off. The Regal Bitch in me I suppose. Saturday, he was cocooned up. In the bed until 2:00PM, if I did not need a dryer, I could have cared less if he slept until the next day. However, I'd walked through my last doorway with underwear and socks hanging to dry. I went in, and quietly leaned down towards him...."Hey, are you gonna go get the dryer or sleep all day?" No response, I repeat it louder. I, the mother of his children, the woman he married, is told by this man, "leave me the hell alone." Oops. I lost it, yep, Nutz was too calm of a word. "LEAVE YOU THE HELL ALONE? LEAVE YOU THE HELL ALONE? I'LL LEAVE YOU THE HELL ALONE." An insane frenzy ensued, I grabbed bags, I grabbed diapers, I grabbed whatever the hell I thought I would need for a night away from the "house of many hanging clothes" and I went to the vehicle, I put those bags in the vehicle. I then went in and grabbed offspring. The first - in her seat, check. The second-strapped in his seat. The eldest? Buckled up and ready to go. By this time hubby has stirred, he sees his family leaving, he asks the one he married, "Where are you going?" To which the Queen of all Bitches, that would be moi replies, "Anywhere that doesn't have my f***ing panties and towels and whatever the hell else you see hanging up in here." And I leave, and I drive, and I get a call from my mom. And I turn down the offer to stay at her house, geezus, I do not need to repeat the phrase, "No, put that down, leave that alone, stop, stop, stop." My mom is the Queen of Expensive breakable shit Bric-a-Brac. We head into Savannah, I pull into the Comfort Inn located on the Southside, near the Mall. We pile into the room, we take baths and showers and get ready to go out. I call and make reservations at our 2nd favorite Japanese Restaurant, the first will be way too busy, I already know. We pig out, we come back to the room, we put on our jammies, we pile into the king size bed (that I requested) together, we watch T.V. finally we all fall asleep. We get up the next day, we go and pig out for brunch at the Original Pancake House. We leave and are headed to the Mall when my cell rings, it's the husband, (mind you, he hasn't called yet!) and he wants to know where we are, I tell him. I ask where he's at, because he's on his cell and he replies, "On the way to the house with your damn dryer" I love my husband, I decide to go home instead of the mall. And this happy bitch has been washing and DRYING clothes all day.....

And yes, I do realize that by the end of this little excursion I could have bought a new dryer for what I paid out...but hell, that wouldn't have been as fun, would it?

Cost of Lodging for one night: $89

Cost of meals and useless stuff bought, just because I could: $125

Cost of getting huzzband to FINALLY get dryer AND
do 4 loads of clothes (folded them too): PRICELESS