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My Big ( & much older, Ha Ha Pam) Sister

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Yep, we smoke. Now that's I've got that outta the way, I want to tell you about my big sister, Pam. She's cool as hell, more on that later. Pam has always been there for me, maybe not for "little" things. But, when I've been at my lowest, and you all that read this blog know about a lot of those times, anyway, Pam's always been there, she'll drop anything to come and try and help me. Heck, if she was there for all my "little" crises, she'd never go home! When I was adopted, I got great parents, but I also got an awesome big sister. She was 12 when I became her sister, and we didn't have all those joyful sibling fights that mine have every hour of the day! (THANK GOD!!) I do remember one time, when I was a teenager, we got into some argument about something or other and me getting in her face, hell, I couldn't back down could I? I will let you in on this though, I may have been Bonnie Bad Ass while in her face, but in my head, I was praying, "Dear God, please don't let her kick my ass." She could have done it, in a heartbeat, but she didn't. One of the greatest memories of my big sis is when I was about 5 years old. She took me to high school with her for the day. I don't know why, but for some reason the school let her and a few others do it. I was on top of the world for a month. When she got an after school job at the mall, with her first paycheck she bought me a Mickey Mouse Watch, I was too cool for words honey!! Because of our age difference we only lived in the same house until I was six. She got married. And the hell of that is, her husband, Ray, was supposed to marry me!! I had a huge crush on him, he used to give me money to go to the store down the street, hoping he'd have some "alone" time. No matter how much or how little he gave me, I was back in 5 minutes tops. Alone time hell, that's my man big sis, and anyway, you're my sister, you are supposed to only pay attention to me!! Thankfully, I am over my obsession with my brother in law, he's just my brother now, and a damn good one!! When Pam and Ray broke the news that they were getting married, I almost needed therapy. Why? Because in my mind, when people got married they moved away, far away. I did not want to lose my sister. I immediately went into her room, called my Granny, hoping to God she could stop this horrible thing. She couldn't. My sister got married. And moved 3 minutes away.

This is my sister and brother (in law.) My sister's marriage is another reason I admire her so much. Married at 18, Baby at 19, and a preemie at that, my niece weighed 3 pounds and a few ounces at birth. Geez, at 18 there is no way on this earth I could have dealt with all that. Before you say, "Sure you could, you deal with what life deals you." Nope, I couldn't have. My mom and dad would have had a kid to raise. And if that makes me sound horrible, so be it. I know me, and I know how I was at 18. Divorce rates are astronomical for couples with wonderful circumstances, but married at 18 with the stress factors my sister had? They are through the roof. But, she's been married forever now, raised 3 kids and is sane, well, somewhat, we are related ya know. Now, to the cool as hell part. My sister and hubby are best friends. They do EVERYTHING together. And by everything I mean it. My sister can hunt, fish, boat, hell you name it, she can do it. Redneck woman, Hell Yeah. Pam chose to tell me that I was not a Redneck. I straightened that out, pretty quick. There are redneck women who can "Skin a buck, run a trot line" and all that and there are redneck women that hang with Jim (Beam) and Jack (Daniels) and raise hell. Jim and Jack were two of my closest friends a while back. See, she can do all the outdoorsy stuff, and I can kick your ass if you say something derogatory about it. LOL.....I got into a fight once at a girl's house. Friends advised me to not fight on her property or I could get into trouble for criminal trespassing. What did this brilliant redneck woman do? Well, redneck teen anyway....I knocked on her door, she answered, she was talking on the phone, I took it out of her hand, informed the other party that "Heather needs to go, she's gonna get her ass kicked," and then drug her out to the middle of the street and whooped her. I received my summons for Juvenile Court shortly thereafter. Oh well, that is all for this post, just wanted y'all to know what an awesome sis I have. I'll end this post with my favorite picture!! Tell me my sister ain't a bad ass, she's got a bigger truck than most men around here,(yep, Joey's jealous as hell,) that's a Chevy 4X4 if you can't tell, and excuse the dirt, she's been in the woods with that bad boy and hasn't had time to wash it yet, and if anyone wants pop off about dykes driving trucks or something ignorant like that? Read the bumper sticker beeyotch...and get over the pettiness. Just cause she's got a bigger, better truck than you ain't no reason to go hatin' on her...besides, if you say something to her...I'll kick you ass....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

One other thing, we live like 20 minutes away from each other, but due to our lives, hardly ever see each other. She pointed this fact out to me when she was talking about her and Ray moving down to the Keys. Hell, I know we don't see each other, but, if we wanted to, we could. Makes sense to me, perfect reason to stay here, never know when you'll get that urge to mix up a couple of margaritas, pop in Jimmy Buffet and converse with your little sister!!