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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Whatever dumb ass came up with piling homework on Elementary school kids needs his/her ass beat. I hate it. It would be easier to catch a tiger by the tail (a la Siegfried and Roy) than put up with trying to make Nicklaus do his homework. Today was the worst, you cannot convince this kid to do it right the first time, and work on it instead of finding things to do instead. What should have been 30-45 minutes of homework turned into 2 1/2. It's ridiculous!!

ME - OKAY, after you finish your snack start on your homework. You don't have much at all.
(normal voice)

NICKLAUS - Yes ma'am. First I've got to go poo.

ME - That's more information than I needed to know, "momma I have to go to the bathroom would have sufficed, you can start on your homework as soon as you are through.
(I suppose everything came out all right for him in the bathroom.)

NICKLAUS - I need some help.

ME -With what Nicklaus, those subtraction problems? I know good and well that you don't need any help with that. You did it last year and you've been doing it for the last week, so stop stalling and do your homework. (Voice only slightly raised)

5 minutes elapse

Nicklaus-Momma, you know what Cody wore to school today?

Me - No I don't Nicklaus, but to tell you the truth I couldn't care less if he ran down Broughton and Bull buck naked. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. (Voice beginning to rise in volume)

Nicklaus- Momma, I need a break, can I have some leisure time?

Me: LEISURE TIME? LEISURE TIME? YOU HAVE COMPLETED 3 PROBLEMS IN 30 MINUTES AND YOU WANT LEISURE TIME?? DID YOU GET KNOCKED IN THE HEAD TODAY OR SOMETHING? IS THAT WHY YOU THINK I WOULD ACTUALLY CONSIDER LETTING YOU HAVE SOME LEISURE TIME? YOUR LEISURE TIME IS WHEN YOU GET YOUR HOMEWORK DONE. YOU HAD SOME LEISURE TIME WHEN YOU WERE EATING YOUR SNACK. SO, I AM ONLY GOING TO TELL YOU ONCE MORE...DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK AND DO IT NOW. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T I MAY NOT KNOW WHEN TO STOP WHEN I BEATING YOU HALF TO DEATH. )(Voice is almost at loudest volume I like to call this level the "If y'all don't listen me the man next door is gonna call the police because you have made me lose my mind. They would take on look at me and know I'm nuts and into the ambulance I go) (He knows I am vocal about this and it really doesn't phase him in the least. I yell because it makes me feel better...lol) Nicklaus replied: " Momma, I will try, why do you need an ambulance? Do you usually ride in an ambulance if you are headed for the loony bin?" "Shut-up Nicklaus" "Momma, when I get through with half of my problems, can I have some leisure time?" AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! I still have 8 years with him in school and homework...damn, momma needs medication!!

Nicklaus - I just want to play. Why does this happen to me, all I want is to have some time to do something other than homework.

Me: Look I'll say it again, you HAD LEISURE TIME when you first walked in. Do you not comprehend that if you would shut your mouth and do your work you would have plenty of time but you spend so much time trying to not do it that you end up sitting here half the night. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, get goofing off and DO YOUR HOMEWORK!! (Voice very loud now, veins bulging, screaming like a banshee talking through gritted teeth.

Well you get the gist of it. This continued for 2 hours. I hate homework. And I hate the fact that my son would rather waste time getting out of homework that just doing it and getting it over with. I tell you what, every village has an idiot and today one was doing without because he was in my house, sitting at the table pretending to be doing homework and then trying to start conversations. I do not deprive him of quality time, play time, any kind of time, but, I also will not tolerate just pure and utter sorry behavior. And before I get any comments, Nicklaus did NOT hear the idiot comment, I said it under my breath. But the frustration of having to put up with this until August?? DAMN!!! Keep in mind, I was making dinner, baking cupcakes and washing dishes all the while answering these questions. After all of this, the yelling, the screaming, the threat I was going to spank him, etc. He had the utter audacity to ask me, "Can I take a break? My hand hurts from all of this writing." He had 20 problems, he'd done 4. He is the master of procrastination. I used to be a procrastinator , but I realized I kept putting procrastinating off until tomorrow.